things are changing in my world.
things are definitly changing in the world.
moms health/mental state is grtting worse and worse. while in her head she keeps coming to the assumption that im "sniffing stuff" (not true), so then i get mad and that just leads to fighting, shes always assuming that I am at the bottom of everything that goes wrong. it sucks, but i've learned to ignore it pretty good, i am right now actually.
Bill's becoming worse and worse too, hes learned my weaknesses and strengths and has learned exactly how to take advantage of them. Hes always taking his "work stress" out on me, yelling at me and then going four wheeling or something... and then he went on a trip to somewhere like virginia or somewhere to pick up a new truck for work. Yet when I tell him i've had a bad day he doesnt want to hear it. he loves his four wheeler a lot more then he likes me and always ditches me to go "riding".
yet he has crazy moodswings and he'll say hes "pissed off" then an hour later maje a promise to me about doing something like say go see a certain chick flick i wanted to see, only for that promie to be broken. He's like my dad minus the smoking crack... and thats not really sometihng i want to deal with. I dont know, he needs to smarten up real quick.
I hung out with a friend of mine (no names right now) last night. and he was so nice, so so soooo nice. and hes nothing that i've ever sworen off (musicians, "scumbag whores", ect). Hes a nice boy, genuinely nice. Only downfall is he lies like 45 minutes away. But I dont know, its nothing big... we only hung out once. Shane seems like he 100% approves of this one though, which is new and good. Shane always gives good guy input, its great. he says "hes good"... i dont know, its really nothing hes just so fuckin nice. wow.
Patricia went to school today, and i didnt even get to say goodbye, not saying goodbye is the worst thing in the world. I hate not being able to say goodbye.
Me and Meghan sat on her porch tonight, talking- I was trying to huide the fact that i was tearing up about every 2 minutes. I just cant stop thinking about how in a week my best friend since middle school will no longer be right accross the bridge but at school with new friends, and could easily forget about me... I know ,meghan, being a good friend would never do that but i get nervous. I cry all the time. I hate when people dissapear, I hate when friendships fade away. Meghan's one of my friends that I would do ABSOLUTELY anything for, anything. And now she'll no longer be at my side at every occasion. Its going to be weird, I'm freaked out. Maybe Ill be just at Endicott a lot? I dont know... I dont know how this is going to work, or what Im going to do.
There are a lot of decisions I have to make pretty soon.
moms health/mental state is grtting worse and worse. while in her head she keeps coming to the assumption that im "sniffing stuff" (not true), so then i get mad and that just leads to fighting, shes always assuming that I am at the bottom of everything that goes wrong. it sucks, but i've learned to ignore it pretty good, i am right now actually.
Bill's becoming worse and worse too, hes learned my weaknesses and strengths and has learned exactly how to take advantage of them. Hes always taking his "work stress" out on me, yelling at me and then going four wheeling or something... and then he went on a trip to somewhere like virginia or somewhere to pick up a new truck for work. Yet when I tell him i've had a bad day he doesnt want to hear it. he loves his four wheeler a lot more then he likes me and always ditches me to go "riding".
yet he has crazy moodswings and he'll say hes "pissed off" then an hour later maje a promise to me about doing something like say go see a certain chick flick i wanted to see, only for that promie to be broken. He's like my dad minus the smoking crack... and thats not really sometihng i want to deal with. I dont know, he needs to smarten up real quick.
I hung out with a friend of mine (no names right now) last night. and he was so nice, so so soooo nice. and hes nothing that i've ever sworen off (musicians, "scumbag whores", ect). Hes a nice boy, genuinely nice. Only downfall is he lies like 45 minutes away. But I dont know, its nothing big... we only hung out once. Shane seems like he 100% approves of this one though, which is new and good. Shane always gives good guy input, its great. he says "hes good"... i dont know, its really nothing hes just so fuckin nice. wow.
Patricia went to school today, and i didnt even get to say goodbye, not saying goodbye is the worst thing in the world. I hate not being able to say goodbye.
Me and Meghan sat on her porch tonight, talking- I was trying to huide the fact that i was tearing up about every 2 minutes. I just cant stop thinking about how in a week my best friend since middle school will no longer be right accross the bridge but at school with new friends, and could easily forget about me... I know ,meghan, being a good friend would never do that but i get nervous. I cry all the time. I hate when people dissapear, I hate when friendships fade away. Meghan's one of my friends that I would do ABSOLUTELY anything for, anything. And now she'll no longer be at my side at every occasion. Its going to be weird, I'm freaked out. Maybe Ill be just at Endicott a lot? I dont know... I dont know how this is going to work, or what Im going to do.
There are a lot of decisions I have to make pretty soon.