Michael/Jamie: Vol1 Chap15
Summary: In which Michael is weird, is tortured, and can't find the words to apologize. I don't even know why this chapter exists, apart from how it points out Michael's weirdness.
Excerpt: It always turned out that way. Why was it easier to apologize to a stranger whose foot you’d stepped on than to someone you actually care about whom you’d treated badly?
MICHAEL
“...okay, Mike?”
I shook my head, clearing my mind, and looked up at Jamie. “Did you say something?”
She looked exasperated. “I’ve been calling your name for almost a minute.”
“I’m sorry. I tend to zone out when I’m painting. What is it?”
“I have to go.”
I blinked at her and suddenly realized that she had already cleaned up her hands and the paintbrushes she’d been using. “Oh.”
“I have journalism up next. What about you?”
“I’m free until after lunch.”
“Oh. I guess that means I won’t see you until after school.”
I raised an eyebrow. She sounded strangely disappointed. “You can see me at lunch, if you want. I’d never skip that.”
She smiled briefly, dropped a “See you later,” and turned to leave.
“Jamie- Wait.”
She stopped and turned back around questioningly.
“About last Thursday...”
She cocked her head to one side. “What about it?”
“I never apologized. I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
I sighed. “Instead of thanking you for getting me out of a tough spot, I snapped at you.”
“Oh, that,” she laughed. “I already forgot about that part. Tonie told me a little bit about Taylor Pratt. He sounds like a major jerk.”
“Yeah, but-”
“Forget it,” she shrugged. “And I really do have to leave now.” She gave me a wave. “Later.”
“Yeah. Later.”
I watched her go and wondered just what Tonie had told her. I supposed I could always ask her when I went to apologize to her, too...
I left the gym only a few minutes after Jamie and went looking for Tonie. I had an idea where to find her. The newspaper had recruited her as their layout artist and illustrator. In truth, Tonie was probably the best person to help me paint the mural but despite her standing offer to help, I didn’t really want to take her up on it. Things were just better that way. It was hard to tell what could happen if we spent too much time together.
I found her in the newspaper office, just as I had expected, drawing a cartoon with a graphics tablet. She glanced up briefly when I came in, and a quick look around confirmed that - but for the two of us - the room was empty.
“What do you want?” she asked me, her eyes glued to the computer screen.
I shrugged and leaned back against her desk, moving her coffee mug aside. “I want to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I want to apologize. But since you seem so busy...”
She stopped abruptly and didn’t move for a while. Then she put her tablet down.
I thought this was a good sign. “I’m sorry about last Thursday. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
She seemed amused, tucking a stray lock of dark hair back behind one ear. “Mike, if you never lost your temper, we’d never know you were still alive. You’re entitled to a few outbursts now and then. You’re not a robot.”
“I still shouldn’t have blown up at you.”
“Forget it. Just try not to do it again.”
“So we’re good?”
“Well, I don’t know. Kiss and make up?” she asked with an impish grin.
“Stop it.”
She laughed. “Do you have a class?”
“Not until after lunch.”
She nodded at her tablet. “Want to help me finish next week’s comic strip? I’m running out of ideas.”
I looked at her face for a while, in silence. “Okay.”
* * *
“So Aaron says ‘No, no! You go left from there!’ Then Jonathan says - you know how stupid my brother can be sometimes - he says ‘No, dumbass! You go right at the-’”
“Hey.”
Tonie and I looked up and she stopped talking so we could stare at Jamie, who was watching us with a curious smile.
“Got room for one more?”
Tonie looked at me. “Sure... But Jon’s right over there, you know.”
Jamie followed her finger and saw Jonathan three tables away with some guys from our Calc class. She made a small face and set her tray down next to mine very decisively. “So what are you guys talking about?”
“I was just telling him about the time we decided to go to that new amusement park last summer.”
“You mean the time the boys got us lost.”
I drained my can of fruit juice. “This isn’t going to turn into a guy-bashing session, is it? Should I walk away now?”
“Oh, no,” Tonie assured me. “If we’re going to whine about boys, you can consider yourself excluded from any generalization we make, Mr. Gorgeous and Perfect.”
“Will you please stop saying things like that? It’s embarrassing.”
“You’re so modest. Gosh. Will you marry me?”
Tonie’s remark made Jamie burst into giggles.
“I’m serious!”
“Shut up, Tonie.”
Both of them started laughing loudly.
“Your face-” Jamie began.
“It’s so red!”
People were beginning to stare.
I started to get up. “I’m leaving.”
“Oh, stop. Sit down,” Jamie said, and hiccupped as she yanked on my arm.
“Everyone’s looking at us,” I mumbled.
“People are always looking at you. You should be used to it by now.”
I laughed dryly. “They don’t look at me the way your boyfriends are looking right now.”
The two of them didn’t even bother to glance at their boyfriends who were, indeed, casting warning glares in my direction.
“Well, it’s not our fault they wanted to sit with their buddies,” Tonie said loudly with a disdainful sniff.
“Exactly,” Jamie agreed. “If they don’t sit with their girlfriends, they should know that someone else will.”
Tonie finished her lunch and hastily got up. “Anyway, I have to get back to the paper. It was nice making fun of you, Mike.”
“Right. Thanks.”
Then, before I could stop her, she had come round to my side and kissed me noisily on the cheek.
“They’re going to find my lifeless body in a puddle of blood tomorrow,” I said gloomily as all heads in the cafeteria whipped around.
Tonie laughed and hurried out of the lunchroom with Aaron Jenkins running after her, his eyes throwing daggers at me as he passed.
Jamie turned to me with an evil grin.
“Don’t,” I pleaded. “I’d die.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Just a few days ago you were doing things with Rachel, in a public place, which most people prefer to do in private. Now you’re all shy and embarrassed?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Do you like Tonie?”
“What!” I laughed.
“From the way the two of you act around each other, it’s like there’s something there-”
“There’s nothing there. Absolutely nothing.”
“If you say so,” she said doubtfully. “Well, I’d better go, too. Here, you can have my cookies.”
She got up and leaned over.
I instinctively leaned back and she laughed. “Later, Harding!” she said over her shoulder, blowing me kisses as she left.
“What an airhead,” I heard a voice nearby mutter as Jamie passed.
I turned my head and saw two girls from our Calc class snickering. Jamie hadn’t heard the comment, as she had already reached the doors. That was probably a good thing. She might have upended their table otherwise.
One of the girls looked up and met my eyes. I recognized her immediately. Andrea Richardson, former friend and current hater of one Jamie Jenkins, who was completely clueless as to why.
She arched an eyebrow at me and I kept staring at her. I knew at once that she had made the comment about Jamie, and that she knew I knew, hence the staring contest. It’s a shame that she had said something so mean about Jamie. She was really hot.
Smart. Pretty. Teacher’s favorite… But nothing special.
Andrea suddenly jerked her eyes away. “Come on, Ashten. Let’s go to the library,” she muttered, picking up her bag.
She and her friend breezed past my table and, as they passed, a cream-colored envelope tied with a red ribbon fluttered to the floor from between the pages of Andrea’s notebook.
I bent and picked it up without thinking and turned it over in my hands. It was plain and no name was written on the back.
She stopped, looking uneasily from the envelope in my hand, to my face, and back again. “Give it back.”
She’d said it as if I’d snatched it right out of her hands and was prancing around the cafeteria, waving it over my head, and threatening to open it.
I had to stop myself from grinning openly. “Love letters in high school?” I mused loudly. “How . . . quaint.”
She reddened. “Someone like you would never understand,” she muttered.
Jamie could have put a better edge on it. She was the only one in the entire school worth fighting with, it seemed.
“Give it back,” she repeated.
“I’d like to ask who it’s for.”
“Yeah, well, it isn’t for you,” she snapped. “Not everyone here is stupid over you,” she said derisively. That was even worse. She didn’t really put her heart into the sneer. What she just said was also so childish and unnecessary, I couldn’t help what I did next.
I laughed at her.
Her face turned even redder and she glanced nervously around the cafeteria. People were sneering at her.
I almost felt sorry for Andrea. Almost. I hadn’t meant to embarrass her by laughing. Still, I couldn’t summon enough sympathy to wipe my smirk off my face.
I put the envelope down on the table and slid it toward her with my index finger. I kept my finger on it. “Anything you want to offer for this? I’m free Friday night.”
“You’re disgusting,” she told me.
I glanced to my left. Jonathan Melman and his Math buddies were staring at us. Melman was frowning.
I turned back to Andrea. “Maybe I should go over and give this to him right now,” I told her quietly so no one else could hear.
“What are you talking about?” she asked me, trying to sound lofty but failing.
“He’s sitting right there.”
Her face paled. “How do you know who it’s for?”
I sighed. “Forget it. You’ve bored me now. Take it back.”
She stared at the envelope and then at me incredulously. Ashten nudged her and she quickly snatched the envelope up and ran out of the cafeteria with her minion.
I glanced down at my hand and then to my left again at Jonathan Melman. Well, that was interesting.
* * *
“Mike. You’re home earlier than usual.”
I glanced to my right, saw Jennifer, and sighed. The way the house was set up, it was almost impossible for me to sneak into my bedroom, as I had to pass by her study on the way.
“Have you eaten? I finished making dinner fifteen minutes ago,” she told me.
“I’m not hungry,” I mumbled.
“It’s not like we have to eat in the same room,” she said with biting sarcasm.
“I’m not hungry,” I repeated.
She put her marker down on the board she was working on. “You can’t avoid me forever, you know. You can’t hate me forever,” she added, sounding a little uncertain.
I scratched my forehead with my index finger. She didn’t understand at all. I’d apologized to Tonie and JJ, but not to her. I couldn’t get the words out.
It always turned out that way. Why was it easier to apologize to a stranger whose foot you’d stepped on than to someone you actually care about whom you’d treated badly?
Jennifer sighed. “Go on and hide in your room, then. But if you’re hungry, you know where the food is.”
She bent her head to her work again and I, a coward, seized the opportunity and slipped away.
Excerpt: It always turned out that way. Why was it easier to apologize to a stranger whose foot you’d stepped on than to someone you actually care about whom you’d treated badly?
MICHAEL
“...okay, Mike?”
I shook my head, clearing my mind, and looked up at Jamie. “Did you say something?”
She looked exasperated. “I’ve been calling your name for almost a minute.”
“I’m sorry. I tend to zone out when I’m painting. What is it?”
“I have to go.”
I blinked at her and suddenly realized that she had already cleaned up her hands and the paintbrushes she’d been using. “Oh.”
“I have journalism up next. What about you?”
“I’m free until after lunch.”
“Oh. I guess that means I won’t see you until after school.”
I raised an eyebrow. She sounded strangely disappointed. “You can see me at lunch, if you want. I’d never skip that.”
She smiled briefly, dropped a “See you later,” and turned to leave.
“Jamie- Wait.”
She stopped and turned back around questioningly.
“About last Thursday...”
She cocked her head to one side. “What about it?”
“I never apologized. I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
I sighed. “Instead of thanking you for getting me out of a tough spot, I snapped at you.”
“Oh, that,” she laughed. “I already forgot about that part. Tonie told me a little bit about Taylor Pratt. He sounds like a major jerk.”
“Yeah, but-”
“Forget it,” she shrugged. “And I really do have to leave now.” She gave me a wave. “Later.”
“Yeah. Later.”
I watched her go and wondered just what Tonie had told her. I supposed I could always ask her when I went to apologize to her, too...
I left the gym only a few minutes after Jamie and went looking for Tonie. I had an idea where to find her. The newspaper had recruited her as their layout artist and illustrator. In truth, Tonie was probably the best person to help me paint the mural but despite her standing offer to help, I didn’t really want to take her up on it. Things were just better that way. It was hard to tell what could happen if we spent too much time together.
I found her in the newspaper office, just as I had expected, drawing a cartoon with a graphics tablet. She glanced up briefly when I came in, and a quick look around confirmed that - but for the two of us - the room was empty.
“What do you want?” she asked me, her eyes glued to the computer screen.
I shrugged and leaned back against her desk, moving her coffee mug aside. “I want to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I want to apologize. But since you seem so busy...”
She stopped abruptly and didn’t move for a while. Then she put her tablet down.
I thought this was a good sign. “I’m sorry about last Thursday. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
She seemed amused, tucking a stray lock of dark hair back behind one ear. “Mike, if you never lost your temper, we’d never know you were still alive. You’re entitled to a few outbursts now and then. You’re not a robot.”
“I still shouldn’t have blown up at you.”
“Forget it. Just try not to do it again.”
“So we’re good?”
“Well, I don’t know. Kiss and make up?” she asked with an impish grin.
“Stop it.”
She laughed. “Do you have a class?”
“Not until after lunch.”
She nodded at her tablet. “Want to help me finish next week’s comic strip? I’m running out of ideas.”
I looked at her face for a while, in silence. “Okay.”
* * *
“So Aaron says ‘No, no! You go left from there!’ Then Jonathan says - you know how stupid my brother can be sometimes - he says ‘No, dumbass! You go right at the-’”
“Hey.”
Tonie and I looked up and she stopped talking so we could stare at Jamie, who was watching us with a curious smile.
“Got room for one more?”
Tonie looked at me. “Sure... But Jon’s right over there, you know.”
Jamie followed her finger and saw Jonathan three tables away with some guys from our Calc class. She made a small face and set her tray down next to mine very decisively. “So what are you guys talking about?”
“I was just telling him about the time we decided to go to that new amusement park last summer.”
“You mean the time the boys got us lost.”
I drained my can of fruit juice. “This isn’t going to turn into a guy-bashing session, is it? Should I walk away now?”
“Oh, no,” Tonie assured me. “If we’re going to whine about boys, you can consider yourself excluded from any generalization we make, Mr. Gorgeous and Perfect.”
“Will you please stop saying things like that? It’s embarrassing.”
“You’re so modest. Gosh. Will you marry me?”
Tonie’s remark made Jamie burst into giggles.
“I’m serious!”
“Shut up, Tonie.”
Both of them started laughing loudly.
“Your face-” Jamie began.
“It’s so red!”
People were beginning to stare.
I started to get up. “I’m leaving.”
“Oh, stop. Sit down,” Jamie said, and hiccupped as she yanked on my arm.
“Everyone’s looking at us,” I mumbled.
“People are always looking at you. You should be used to it by now.”
I laughed dryly. “They don’t look at me the way your boyfriends are looking right now.”
The two of them didn’t even bother to glance at their boyfriends who were, indeed, casting warning glares in my direction.
“Well, it’s not our fault they wanted to sit with their buddies,” Tonie said loudly with a disdainful sniff.
“Exactly,” Jamie agreed. “If they don’t sit with their girlfriends, they should know that someone else will.”
Tonie finished her lunch and hastily got up. “Anyway, I have to get back to the paper. It was nice making fun of you, Mike.”
“Right. Thanks.”
Then, before I could stop her, she had come round to my side and kissed me noisily on the cheek.
“They’re going to find my lifeless body in a puddle of blood tomorrow,” I said gloomily as all heads in the cafeteria whipped around.
Tonie laughed and hurried out of the lunchroom with Aaron Jenkins running after her, his eyes throwing daggers at me as he passed.
Jamie turned to me with an evil grin.
“Don’t,” I pleaded. “I’d die.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Just a few days ago you were doing things with Rachel, in a public place, which most people prefer to do in private. Now you’re all shy and embarrassed?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Do you like Tonie?”
“What!” I laughed.
“From the way the two of you act around each other, it’s like there’s something there-”
“There’s nothing there. Absolutely nothing.”
“If you say so,” she said doubtfully. “Well, I’d better go, too. Here, you can have my cookies.”
She got up and leaned over.
I instinctively leaned back and she laughed. “Later, Harding!” she said over her shoulder, blowing me kisses as she left.
“What an airhead,” I heard a voice nearby mutter as Jamie passed.
I turned my head and saw two girls from our Calc class snickering. Jamie hadn’t heard the comment, as she had already reached the doors. That was probably a good thing. She might have upended their table otherwise.
One of the girls looked up and met my eyes. I recognized her immediately. Andrea Richardson, former friend and current hater of one Jamie Jenkins, who was completely clueless as to why.
She arched an eyebrow at me and I kept staring at her. I knew at once that she had made the comment about Jamie, and that she knew I knew, hence the staring contest. It’s a shame that she had said something so mean about Jamie. She was really hot.
Smart. Pretty. Teacher’s favorite… But nothing special.
Andrea suddenly jerked her eyes away. “Come on, Ashten. Let’s go to the library,” she muttered, picking up her bag.
She and her friend breezed past my table and, as they passed, a cream-colored envelope tied with a red ribbon fluttered to the floor from between the pages of Andrea’s notebook.
I bent and picked it up without thinking and turned it over in my hands. It was plain and no name was written on the back.
She stopped, looking uneasily from the envelope in my hand, to my face, and back again. “Give it back.”
She’d said it as if I’d snatched it right out of her hands and was prancing around the cafeteria, waving it over my head, and threatening to open it.
I had to stop myself from grinning openly. “Love letters in high school?” I mused loudly. “How . . . quaint.”
She reddened. “Someone like you would never understand,” she muttered.
Jamie could have put a better edge on it. She was the only one in the entire school worth fighting with, it seemed.
“Give it back,” she repeated.
“I’d like to ask who it’s for.”
“Yeah, well, it isn’t for you,” she snapped. “Not everyone here is stupid over you,” she said derisively. That was even worse. She didn’t really put her heart into the sneer. What she just said was also so childish and unnecessary, I couldn’t help what I did next.
I laughed at her.
Her face turned even redder and she glanced nervously around the cafeteria. People were sneering at her.
I almost felt sorry for Andrea. Almost. I hadn’t meant to embarrass her by laughing. Still, I couldn’t summon enough sympathy to wipe my smirk off my face.
I put the envelope down on the table and slid it toward her with my index finger. I kept my finger on it. “Anything you want to offer for this? I’m free Friday night.”
“You’re disgusting,” she told me.
I glanced to my left. Jonathan Melman and his Math buddies were staring at us. Melman was frowning.
I turned back to Andrea. “Maybe I should go over and give this to him right now,” I told her quietly so no one else could hear.
“What are you talking about?” she asked me, trying to sound lofty but failing.
“He’s sitting right there.”
Her face paled. “How do you know who it’s for?”
I sighed. “Forget it. You’ve bored me now. Take it back.”
She stared at the envelope and then at me incredulously. Ashten nudged her and she quickly snatched the envelope up and ran out of the cafeteria with her minion.
I glanced down at my hand and then to my left again at Jonathan Melman. Well, that was interesting.
* * *
“Mike. You’re home earlier than usual.”
I glanced to my right, saw Jennifer, and sighed. The way the house was set up, it was almost impossible for me to sneak into my bedroom, as I had to pass by her study on the way.
“Have you eaten? I finished making dinner fifteen minutes ago,” she told me.
“I’m not hungry,” I mumbled.
“It’s not like we have to eat in the same room,” she said with biting sarcasm.
“I’m not hungry,” I repeated.
She put her marker down on the board she was working on. “You can’t avoid me forever, you know. You can’t hate me forever,” she added, sounding a little uncertain.
I scratched my forehead with my index finger. She didn’t understand at all. I’d apologized to Tonie and JJ, but not to her. I couldn’t get the words out.
It always turned out that way. Why was it easier to apologize to a stranger whose foot you’d stepped on than to someone you actually care about whom you’d treated badly?
Jennifer sighed. “Go on and hide in your room, then. But if you’re hungry, you know where the food is.”
She bent her head to her work again and I, a coward, seized the opportunity and slipped away.