Oct 01, 2005 14:32
they lyed there in the comfort of his bed with his warm body against her's and their breathing as one. she asked him not to get too attached because everything was temporary and she didn't mean to do what she was going to do. he looked at her, smiled, and said, "girl, i know what you're doing and it's all okay. everything will be okay." and kissed her on the forehead.
last night, he ended up in the hospital and that's not even enough for her to stop.
it felt all too familiar, but she dealt with it. she's on her own now and won't have it any other way. so with blow in her veins she danced and danced and danced till there was nothing left inside of her. after more cigarettes and the drive home, reality hit, she tainted her body again.
last night was full of laughter, tears, kids passed out on the floor, beerpong (that i kicked ass at), and way too many cigarettes for my own good. on the way home, i had my arm around cody because he was really just too drunk to walk by himself, sabrina talking to me and samantha dancing ahead of us. what a fucking movie. nono. my life is such a fucking movie and i love it.
i think everyone there saw my tits so it matches with last year when they all saw my ass.
i'm really not mess guys, promise. at the end of the day i know who i am and i'm not going to say i'm happy happy, but i'm content with it all. with substance or without substance, i'm still living.
i will still be writing in here because after this whole ordeal, i want to be able to look back, but mentally i won't be here and i appologize.