this is really just for me.
there seems to be a lack of everything these days. substance. motivation. inspiration. but i'm so stressed out about falling so far behind in school, i don't even notice it. but then, i sit around and just think about how stressed out i am instead of actually doing something. i constantly, open firefox then close it. expecting to see something new or the red (1) on my yahoo mail signaling that i have new mail.
but it's never anything interesting.
check out shopbop's new season clothes.
which then makes me want to go shopping. that leads more stress because i don't have any money to go shopping. i got my paycheck today. $137.78 and $1.55 bonus. i was happy to see that i got a raise. $0.07 cents from last year. i know that doesn't seem like alot, but those seven cents, they add up. the thing that sucks though, is i don't even see this paycheck.
and i won't see the next one either. because of car/untilities/gas/cable&internet/groceries.
these are the bills every month.
carpayments: $300
utilities: $20
gas: $40
cable&internet: $50
groceries: $80 (i have to find some way of lowering this)
shows: $60
total: $550
now, in one month, i make about $450-$500
what does that mean?? oh yeah. i'm already behind. and this is working 20+ hours a week so i can't afford to cut back my hours. this week, i'm working 30 hours, do hopefully that's an addictional $70.
i could always give up shows and save me about $60, but it's what makes me happy and sane. i already have 5 lined up in the next two months. i haven't bought mac makeup in so long and i keep telling myself i have enough to last me a long time, but it's not enough. &clothes. i don't even have anymore space in my closet and dresser, yet i still want to get new everything.
the other day, i went out and saw something that reminded me of bernard so i had to get it for him. i know i shouldn't throw around money like i actually have any, but i just wanted to surprise him. mailed it out with his shoes and a cute short letter. i just need to stay at home, never look at online shopping, and get my studies done. then maybe, just maybe i'll have some christmas money to get my momma something wonderful. i'm already trying to save for bernard's xbox 360 with all the features. gucci purse? nah, i don't need it.
ps. i have really blonde chunks in my hurrrrrrr.
&&&let's just talk about how hot he is and how he's so my husband.
but it's never anything interesting.
check out shopbop's new season clothes.
which then makes me want to go shopping. that leads more stress because i don't have any money to go shopping. i got my paycheck today. $137.78 and $1.55 bonus. i was happy to see that i got a raise. $0.07 cents from last year. i know that doesn't seem like alot, but those seven cents, they add up. the thing that sucks though, is i don't even see this paycheck.
and i won't see the next one either. because of car/untilities/gas/cable&internet/groceries.
these are the bills every month.
carpayments: $300
utilities: $20
gas: $40
cable&internet: $50
groceries: $80 (i have to find some way of lowering this)
shows: $60
total: $550
now, in one month, i make about $450-$500
what does that mean?? oh yeah. i'm already behind. and this is working 20+ hours a week so i can't afford to cut back my hours. this week, i'm working 30 hours, do hopefully that's an addictional $70.
i could always give up shows and save me about $60, but it's what makes me happy and sane. i already have 5 lined up in the next two months. i haven't bought mac makeup in so long and i keep telling myself i have enough to last me a long time, but it's not enough. &clothes. i don't even have anymore space in my closet and dresser, yet i still want to get new everything.
the other day, i went out and saw something that reminded me of bernard so i had to get it for him. i know i shouldn't throw around money like i actually have any, but i just wanted to surprise him. mailed it out with his shoes and a cute short letter. i just need to stay at home, never look at online shopping, and get my studies done. then maybe, just maybe i'll have some christmas money to get my momma something wonderful. i'm already trying to save for bernard's xbox 360 with all the features. gucci purse? nah, i don't need it.
ps. i have really blonde chunks in my hurrrrrrr.
&&&let's just talk about how hot he is and how he's so my husband.
