my life slowly crumbling
i just dont understand myself any more... i no longer no what i want
last night i got in a fight with rachel... and i still dont kno why right now... well in my mind i kno why but like... its not a reason...
and things just dont make sense why everything can go so good for a while just to turn bad... and its never just bad... its like horrible..
and im not even like allowed to be with my boyfriend because its like illegal or whatever andd he'll get in trouble
because im not allowed to be happy thats what it is.. so the one thing that does make me happy has to be all screwed up... and now hes mad at me cause i was scared to hug him i thought i was gunna get in trouble since our whole fucking school is fucking retarded...
who tells on peoople... 2 year olds... thats what i thought.. no no no.. teachers at lakes... thats how mature the teachers are at our school... that they screw up my life...
so nnow bbecause i was afraid to get in trouble.. my boyfriend probably is pissed at me... o top of that he was all dissapointed in me last night because basicalli.. i didnt kno what decisions to make.. i was afraid if i did one thing hed be mad.. n so he sat there n was like
-yur not the girl i fell in love with- because basicalli i dont kno if what i want is what i want or what i think he wants... im so0o screwed up right now i need like 4 days off... and this week is homecoming..
all i want is a realli great week with my boyfriend that i can be aorund without gettig in trouble.. n i want a fun homecoming night.. thats all im asking for... watch what realli happens.. itll all et fucked up.. cause i cant be happy..
i think its because earlier i was tlaking about not believeing in god.. or sumthing like that... n so now god hates me n wants to ruin my life...
ohh the irony of that situation
w.e
*s[A]m*
im just freaking out that hes just not gunna be there anymore after this week...
last night i got in a fight with rachel... and i still dont kno why right now... well in my mind i kno why but like... its not a reason...
and things just dont make sense why everything can go so good for a while just to turn bad... and its never just bad... its like horrible..
and im not even like allowed to be with my boyfriend because its like illegal or whatever andd he'll get in trouble
because im not allowed to be happy thats what it is.. so the one thing that does make me happy has to be all screwed up... and now hes mad at me cause i was scared to hug him i thought i was gunna get in trouble since our whole fucking school is fucking retarded...
who tells on peoople... 2 year olds... thats what i thought.. no no no.. teachers at lakes... thats how mature the teachers are at our school... that they screw up my life...
so nnow bbecause i was afraid to get in trouble.. my boyfriend probably is pissed at me... o top of that he was all dissapointed in me last night because basicalli.. i didnt kno what decisions to make.. i was afraid if i did one thing hed be mad.. n so he sat there n was like
-yur not the girl i fell in love with- because basicalli i dont kno if what i want is what i want or what i think he wants... im so0o screwed up right now i need like 4 days off... and this week is homecoming..
all i want is a realli great week with my boyfriend that i can be aorund without gettig in trouble.. n i want a fun homecoming night.. thats all im asking for... watch what realli happens.. itll all et fucked up.. cause i cant be happy..
i think its because earlier i was tlaking about not believeing in god.. or sumthing like that... n so now god hates me n wants to ruin my life...
ohh the irony of that situation
w.e
*s[A]m*
im just freaking out that hes just not gunna be there anymore after this week...