(no subject)
Well no one reads livejournal anymore so Ill just spill everything.
So since my last entry a lot has changed.
Cory and I were together till 2 weekends ago. 4/28.. the day before our 3 month. I hadnt seen him in a week or 2 but that was somewhat usual, I knew that once summer came we'd be better. He broke up with me, it was the worst thing ive ever gone through-and im still going through today but theres more to it now. Since we were both going differnet ways at the end of college we were going to split up then, he decided he wanted to do it now. So we werent as attatched and werent so serious. After 3 months and hundreds of "I love yous" he didnt think we were serious maybe? I dont know.
SO anyways he wanted to lessen the hurt and def. did not want a long distance relationship- I completely understood.
BUt then I come to find out hes seeing someone new. It fucking hurts even worse then before. Hes with another girl now? Hes gonna have to say bye to her at the end of the summer or do a ldr-which he "was" opposed to.
I dont know but he completely contradicted himself.
then i come to find out that "alcohol and drugs are who i am"
no way they are not!! i spent every weekend night with HIM not any of that. It never is and never will be who i am i PROMISE!
then i find out everytime i said goodbye to him i held on too long, i never wanted to let him go-how could i-i was in love and didnt want to miss it for a short period of time...
thennnn i find out that one night while im "belligerently drunk" I hurt him because i was disrespectful. How can you honestly judge a person on how they act when theyre drunk??
theres so much i dont understand and I just wish i could close my eyes and start over. I wish i had taken the time to listen and see he was hurting.
So since my last entry a lot has changed.
Cory and I were together till 2 weekends ago. 4/28.. the day before our 3 month. I hadnt seen him in a week or 2 but that was somewhat usual, I knew that once summer came we'd be better. He broke up with me, it was the worst thing ive ever gone through-and im still going through today but theres more to it now. Since we were both going differnet ways at the end of college we were going to split up then, he decided he wanted to do it now. So we werent as attatched and werent so serious. After 3 months and hundreds of "I love yous" he didnt think we were serious maybe? I dont know.
SO anyways he wanted to lessen the hurt and def. did not want a long distance relationship- I completely understood.
BUt then I come to find out hes seeing someone new. It fucking hurts even worse then before. Hes with another girl now? Hes gonna have to say bye to her at the end of the summer or do a ldr-which he "was" opposed to.
I dont know but he completely contradicted himself.
then i come to find out that "alcohol and drugs are who i am"
no way they are not!! i spent every weekend night with HIM not any of that. It never is and never will be who i am i PROMISE!
then i find out everytime i said goodbye to him i held on too long, i never wanted to let him go-how could i-i was in love and didnt want to miss it for a short period of time...
thennnn i find out that one night while im "belligerently drunk" I hurt him because i was disrespectful. How can you honestly judge a person on how they act when theyre drunk??
theres so much i dont understand and I just wish i could close my eyes and start over. I wish i had taken the time to listen and see he was hurting.