(no subject)
does anyone else feel like life is spinning out of control?
i feel like i'm repeating myself, frustrated one liners that keep me up all night and day and i'm somehow making progress but it's not clear, the lines are not linear, i step forward when i should be stepping sideways. some damn fool turned the street signs around. the sidewalk leads off of a cliff. all the people's faces turn to monsters and then to angels and i don't know which one could possibly be true when they must both exist here, in the present, and in the future they must change. on the train i'm paranoid and i can't relax, i used to be able to relax on any train, any bus, now i stare out into the blackness of the underground concrete walls and think of the tons of earth above my head. there is only the illusion of security, in my house and on the street. only the illusion of ownership, none of this is mine. i will disappear because i forgot how to make my home somewhere. i don't want to have a nationality, i want to belong everywhere, it's only silly rules, archaic thinking, unknown prejudices that keep us where we are- the assumption that we cannot do that keeps us from doing.
i feel like i'm repeating myself, frustrated one liners that keep me up all night and day and i'm somehow making progress but it's not clear, the lines are not linear, i step forward when i should be stepping sideways. some damn fool turned the street signs around. the sidewalk leads off of a cliff. all the people's faces turn to monsters and then to angels and i don't know which one could possibly be true when they must both exist here, in the present, and in the future they must change. on the train i'm paranoid and i can't relax, i used to be able to relax on any train, any bus, now i stare out into the blackness of the underground concrete walls and think of the tons of earth above my head. there is only the illusion of security, in my house and on the street. only the illusion of ownership, none of this is mine. i will disappear because i forgot how to make my home somewhere. i don't want to have a nationality, i want to belong everywhere, it's only silly rules, archaic thinking, unknown prejudices that keep us where we are- the assumption that we cannot do that keeps us from doing.