(no subject)

Oct 06, 2007 23:29

so...

natalie and i are separated again.
i feel like i'm married to her. no one should feel obligated to be someone's friend.
and yet here i am.

everything was planned out. everything.
and we were fine until tonight. until i said something.

cut to me in my kitchen, alone, with wire-hangers.
(for roasting chestnuts on an open fire)

...

separated, but her family is my family.
maybe that's why i feel obligated.
yes.
yes i believe so.
i want her to hate me and hate everyone who has anything to do with me.
it would solve so much.

but no.
no, if i were a boy she'd date me.
im emma and she believes she needs me.

is it possible to have a chemical inbalance in your brain that makes you obsessed with certain things? in her case it's boys. she gets attached after two conversations. she claims to be in love with someone who never viewed her as anything more than a friend.

i'm seriously asking you guys. is there an inbalance? is something seriously wrong with her? is there any way to get her help?

i know she's going to hurt herself. i'm terrified about that.
i'm really scared--so much it makes me nauseous--that she's going to kill herself.

i don't know what to do. if i tell her i think she needs help she'll refuse to talk to me. but she wants me to be honest with her, and she always asks "is there something wrong with me, em?"
what do i say? what the hell am i supposed to do? she's got nowhere to go, her family isn't doing so great at the moment, her friends a fairweather...

i don't know. help.
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