[dance_for_rain]

i don't know if the link worked

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What I brutally Honestly think (a novel)

[shinecryzephyr]

Without knowing Natalie well, and without knowing Ryen, I want to give my opinion but I don't want to offend you. It seems like that's easier to do in a conversation, so call me or IM me sometime if you want to talk about it and hear what I brutally, honestly think. But the first thing I'd ask is, why do you call her you best friend? I don't think she's a bad person or that she will necessarily always be this way, but isn't she younger than you? It just seems like she's not ready to be a mature, self-less person. You can love her, but it seems apparent that you can't depend on her. I know that that makes you angry, but you cannot change her. And you cannot make people promise things. I feel like you can and should rise above her actions and immature drama. But you have to accept that that is better for you; that it's not about "showing her how it feels" and leaving her behind in a vengeful way. Maybe you have to deal with her, to some extent, in an emotionally-removed way.

And now I have pretty much said everything that I thought would be better not to say right here and now...but now it's done. I love you and I care about your well-being. And I think you are ahead of where Natalie is in her life, and for now, you just have to let her be where she is and go on to a place where you recognize her immaturity for what it is--it is not about you. It hurts you because she totally disregards you. She is not mature enough to understand. Some people never grow past such a state. But she may. Either way, you have to understand that you can't make her change and you should not let yourself be pulled down by her, for your own sake.

One last thing: "rising above" and "leaving her behind" or remaining "emotionally-removed" as I have suggested, does not mean that you are being a hypocrite--as in, asking her to be there for you and being mad that she's not, and then "turning away from her." "Rising above" etc just means becoming a little bit stronger and taking care of yourself. It doesn't even mean saying anything to her about it...i can be very quiet and personal.

Let me know what you think. <3

Re: What I brutally Honestly think (a novel)

[dance_for_rain]

i think i should be offended but i'm not. i may be a little too dumbed down right now to see any offense.

she's my best friend because she's here and she listens. she comes through every so often, when i come to her for problems. but the bad here outweighs the good.

i've actually though about what you've said on where i am in life and how distant we are. and i know i can't change her. but we've talked about it. it angers me that she says she'll try to do things different and then doesn't. she doesn't try and i see it as not caring.

this whole thing--me lashing out and telling her everything that she's done to hurt me--is me trying to defend myself and get myself better.

so far it's not working.

thank you emily...i hope i understood your point correctly?

Re: What I brutally Honestly think (a novel)

[shinecryzephyr]

i think so. i can't really say too much because i don't know the situation first hand. so i hope that you feel better and that it all works out. <3