lost
have you ever felt so connected to someone so quickly that it takes you by surprise and causes you to act out of character? have you ever felt so connected that everything fits into place every moment you're with that person? so connected that you feel safe yet in danger, rising and falling, breathing and suffocating? alive?
it's amazing.
and have you ever watched it fall through your hands, like sand?
it's amazing in a different way.
i have felt so many new emotions these past two years, and i will cherish each, good and bad. but this emotion is one i can't explain properly. i can't even find a cliche to fit it.
i felt present through the whole thing (which i was) but when something similar to this happens, something bad, it kinda glazes over once the situation is done with. this hasn't glazed yet. probably because nothing has been talked about or resolved.
i felt like i was living it twice at the same time. and that makes no sense to anyone but me. the situation was intensified.
friday was so much fun too, being with marc and jeff at lmu visiting steven.
i can't bounce back and be cheery right away after such a weird, intense situation.
for the first time in my life, i'm kind of lost. i don't want that. i don't want to be lost. i wasn't lost when steven and i broke up. and that means something that i'm either not ready to admit, or that i refuse to admit.
this became longer than i intended.
thank you for reading this
it's amazing.
and have you ever watched it fall through your hands, like sand?
it's amazing in a different way.
i have felt so many new emotions these past two years, and i will cherish each, good and bad. but this emotion is one i can't explain properly. i can't even find a cliche to fit it.
i felt present through the whole thing (which i was) but when something similar to this happens, something bad, it kinda glazes over once the situation is done with. this hasn't glazed yet. probably because nothing has been talked about or resolved.
i felt like i was living it twice at the same time. and that makes no sense to anyone but me. the situation was intensified.
friday was so much fun too, being with marc and jeff at lmu visiting steven.
i can't bounce back and be cheery right away after such a weird, intense situation.
for the first time in my life, i'm kind of lost. i don't want that. i don't want to be lost. i wasn't lost when steven and i broke up. and that means something that i'm either not ready to admit, or that i refuse to admit.
this became longer than i intended.
thank you for reading this