the nightmare comes true.....
My worst fear in this thing with Dan has come true, he got locked up yesterday. I never ruled out that it could happen,I just didn't think it would happen this soon. He apparently missed a court date that he didn't know he had. I got the news from him via text message at 12:30 yesterday. I thought he was kidding. Then he started apologizing and telling me how much he liked me and how he thought I was amazing, Then he asked me to call his dad. That's when I knew this was the real deal. I threw up twice and felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't keep my emotions in check I left work early because I feel completely apart. I just couldn't imagine him in that position. His dad and stepmom have been completely supportive with me. They are my rocks right now and are including me in everything. They're there for me and I couldn't be more grateful for them. Lauren went through this a few times with Doug and she understands how I'm feeling. They want me to come to dinner, so I get out the house and I'm around people I can talk to. It's because of them and my friends that I don't feel so alone right now. As long as I have people to help me get through this I can stay strong for him.
Dan was worried I was going to hate him for this and never want to talk to him again, but I'm not ready to let him go. I'm going to stand beside him as long as he lets me. He's been there for me the last few weeks as I've been dealing with small issues and now it's my turn to be there for him. Everyone goes through bumps in the road, ours is just one that's going to take 30 or more days to get over. Regardless, I'm there with him every step of the way, he just means that much to me. We'll get through this 30 day bump and have plenty of good times ahead of us. I have complete faith in him and this thing we have between us. We got to talk last night for 10 minutes and he really was worried about me and about me being done with him. I tried to make him feel at ease that I wasn't done with him and he tried to get me to chill out and reiterated that everything would be ok and he'd be back before I knew it.
Right now It's 11:37am and I'm on the verge of tears. Normally I'd have a text message from him by now telling he hoped I was having a good day and that he couldn't wait to talk to me later, and it didn't come today. It's a harsh reminder that he's in jail and our contact will be consitant but minimal. I feel like the world is crashing down around me and the past few weeks he's been there to help me piece it back together and now he can't help me. Maybe this is God's way of making me find my own strength this time and he's showing me that I can depend on myself to find light in dark corners. I just know I need to be strong for him and I can fall apart on my own and have a great support system to fall back on. Like I said Lauren and Doug are my rocks right now and if it hadn't been for them yesterday, calling just to make sure I'm ok I'd probably still be crying and a huge mess instead of a medium size mess lol. Oh well, looks like for the next 30 days or so this becomes the diary of a girls who's man is in jail.
Dan was worried I was going to hate him for this and never want to talk to him again, but I'm not ready to let him go. I'm going to stand beside him as long as he lets me. He's been there for me the last few weeks as I've been dealing with small issues and now it's my turn to be there for him. Everyone goes through bumps in the road, ours is just one that's going to take 30 or more days to get over. Regardless, I'm there with him every step of the way, he just means that much to me. We'll get through this 30 day bump and have plenty of good times ahead of us. I have complete faith in him and this thing we have between us. We got to talk last night for 10 minutes and he really was worried about me and about me being done with him. I tried to make him feel at ease that I wasn't done with him and he tried to get me to chill out and reiterated that everything would be ok and he'd be back before I knew it.
Right now It's 11:37am and I'm on the verge of tears. Normally I'd have a text message from him by now telling he hoped I was having a good day and that he couldn't wait to talk to me later, and it didn't come today. It's a harsh reminder that he's in jail and our contact will be consitant but minimal. I feel like the world is crashing down around me and the past few weeks he's been there to help me piece it back together and now he can't help me. Maybe this is God's way of making me find my own strength this time and he's showing me that I can depend on myself to find light in dark corners. I just know I need to be strong for him and I can fall apart on my own and have a great support system to fall back on. Like I said Lauren and Doug are my rocks right now and if it hadn't been for them yesterday, calling just to make sure I'm ok I'd probably still be crying and a huge mess instead of a medium size mess lol. Oh well, looks like for the next 30 days or so this becomes the diary of a girls who's man is in jail.