Thinking about things....
In Raakhee's entry... she wrote:
" I'm surrounded by friends in school with every one of them having a bf or gf. Everywhere I look- everyone does. And of course I'm alright with not having one- cuz I'm not out looking for one really but sometimes I wish I could just cuddle with that special someone who would hold me till I fell asleep in his arms...it makes me wonder is it me that's the problem?"
You stole those words straight out of my mouth. Thank you.
Raakhee... I wanted to tell you how much more relieved I am to hear someone say that and feel that way. I really am not alone. It's true... you walk in the hallways and you see your friends so happy with their someone and you are truly happy for them... but inside you can't help feeling alone because you dont have that either... me too Raakhee... I wish that just for once I could fall asleep in that person's arms...hold hands while walking down the hallways...hold those special gazes that only eachother can interpret...him keep me warm ...bring me roses or send me notes for no special reason but to remind me that i mean something to him...I've dreamt it all. trust me.
sometimes I sit down hours on an end and listen to songs and just ponder about it...asking myself the same question: what is the problem? am I not pretty enough? am I intimdating? am I too smart? am I a bad person? what do I not have...and the truth is... i never get anywhere...but just feeling like crap and envious and then guilty as i do now... because I can't find the answer... and it hurts so much inside...to even think about it.
i admire your attitude abbout knowing that there is someone out there for you and that you wont change...you have inspired me to do the same... i really DONT want to change to find that guy... but at the same time...i can't help but to be so frustrated so so aggravated knowing how quickly and happliy things work out for my friends while im still the one waiting here...
after reading your entry... I realize for how long i've kept this inside of me in fear of sounding superficial or the steroetypical boy crazy teenager... but i can't deny it... we all feel that way sooner or later...and its time I let it out here... i think that since i wear my heart on my sleeve...I get hurt...but and then I;m too afriad to admit anything...
then it comes to the whole being committed and all.. most people I know don't exactly want to be seriously committed because they have so many options... I am not like that and I know you aren't either... maybe thats why... I just dont know...
I agree that the irony of it all is how we are the ones people come to for relationship advice.. when we have never had one before...yet somehow our advice always works...I sit here also and do my best to help someone with their problems so that they will be happy but deep down inside yearn for those cute one month anniversaries and those cute little things that make them so fun.
The purpose of this entry was to tell you all and to you raakhee... that you are NOT alone... just a couple houses down... there is another girl feeling the EXACT same way... wishing for the guy whose arms you could fall into...but not forgetting the fact that we have all of our lives to find him...
WE having every right to feel this way.
EVERY right.
and by waiting... who knows... we may be even more in love than we ever could have been.
I love you girlie.
NOW: back to exams.
" I'm surrounded by friends in school with every one of them having a bf or gf. Everywhere I look- everyone does. And of course I'm alright with not having one- cuz I'm not out looking for one really but sometimes I wish I could just cuddle with that special someone who would hold me till I fell asleep in his arms...it makes me wonder is it me that's the problem?"
You stole those words straight out of my mouth. Thank you.
Raakhee... I wanted to tell you how much more relieved I am to hear someone say that and feel that way. I really am not alone. It's true... you walk in the hallways and you see your friends so happy with their someone and you are truly happy for them... but inside you can't help feeling alone because you dont have that either... me too Raakhee... I wish that just for once I could fall asleep in that person's arms...hold hands while walking down the hallways...hold those special gazes that only eachother can interpret...him keep me warm ...bring me roses or send me notes for no special reason but to remind me that i mean something to him...I've dreamt it all. trust me.
sometimes I sit down hours on an end and listen to songs and just ponder about it...asking myself the same question: what is the problem? am I not pretty enough? am I intimdating? am I too smart? am I a bad person? what do I not have...and the truth is... i never get anywhere...but just feeling like crap and envious and then guilty as i do now... because I can't find the answer... and it hurts so much inside...to even think about it.
i admire your attitude abbout knowing that there is someone out there for you and that you wont change...you have inspired me to do the same... i really DONT want to change to find that guy... but at the same time...i can't help but to be so frustrated so so aggravated knowing how quickly and happliy things work out for my friends while im still the one waiting here...
after reading your entry... I realize for how long i've kept this inside of me in fear of sounding superficial or the steroetypical boy crazy teenager... but i can't deny it... we all feel that way sooner or later...and its time I let it out here... i think that since i wear my heart on my sleeve...I get hurt...but and then I;m too afriad to admit anything...
then it comes to the whole being committed and all.. most people I know don't exactly want to be seriously committed because they have so many options... I am not like that and I know you aren't either... maybe thats why... I just dont know...
I agree that the irony of it all is how we are the ones people come to for relationship advice.. when we have never had one before...yet somehow our advice always works...I sit here also and do my best to help someone with their problems so that they will be happy but deep down inside yearn for those cute one month anniversaries and those cute little things that make them so fun.
The purpose of this entry was to tell you all and to you raakhee... that you are NOT alone... just a couple houses down... there is another girl feeling the EXACT same way... wishing for the guy whose arms you could fall into...but not forgetting the fact that we have all of our lives to find him...
WE having every right to feel this way.
EVERY right.
and by waiting... who knows... we may be even more in love than we ever could have been.
I love you girlie.
NOW: back to exams.