(no subject)
I feel like shit. Which really sucks because there is nothing more i would like to be doing than getting out of the house, than excercising and feeling good. But goddamnit i'm a woman. I don't know what is wrong with me but ever since i took the pill i've had my period three times in a month and a half. That's not right. Luckily i have a doctors appointment tomorrow, when unfortunetely i'm supposed to be going to UofO with chelsea for a tour, but i'm getting really worried about this and i don't want to postpone it any longer. Plus i'll probably also be in pain tomorrow too.
So bryant is gone, in bend i think. He's away until friday, it's sunday. He came to say goodbye to my last night and it was only for a little bit, i feel bad for making him stay up, but then again I did stay up for five hours so i could see him. It's a compramise. I've been finding a lot that relationships need compramise. It's not bad, just a necessary evil, but totally worth it. I've been trying to compramise for the people i love too. I ask it of them, so it's only fair.
I have been really anitsocial and also really judgemental. I don't know if i haven't always thought these things about my friends, but the smoking and partying is really getting to me. Hanging out at the Beanery every fucking day doing the same things, I'm just sick of it. And i'm also sick of everyone's shit, people lying, seeing things in other's relationships that i have no right to do anything about but want to so bad. I'm sick of it. I don't know how I feel about anyone right now on a more personal level. Everyone's changing, and i'm not the only one noticing, but hey, i'm probably changing too. I don't know, I'm trying not to worry about it too much, i don't need to get sucked into more problems.
Atleast I have the laptop and the warmth of my bed to comfort me, but it would be nice to have a boyfriend here. Oh well, i'll tough it out, like I have for years. But hopefully when I start taking birth control, it will well, be controlled. Finally. UGGH.
So bryant is gone, in bend i think. He's away until friday, it's sunday. He came to say goodbye to my last night and it was only for a little bit, i feel bad for making him stay up, but then again I did stay up for five hours so i could see him. It's a compramise. I've been finding a lot that relationships need compramise. It's not bad, just a necessary evil, but totally worth it. I've been trying to compramise for the people i love too. I ask it of them, so it's only fair.
I have been really anitsocial and also really judgemental. I don't know if i haven't always thought these things about my friends, but the smoking and partying is really getting to me. Hanging out at the Beanery every fucking day doing the same things, I'm just sick of it. And i'm also sick of everyone's shit, people lying, seeing things in other's relationships that i have no right to do anything about but want to so bad. I'm sick of it. I don't know how I feel about anyone right now on a more personal level. Everyone's changing, and i'm not the only one noticing, but hey, i'm probably changing too. I don't know, I'm trying not to worry about it too much, i don't need to get sucked into more problems.
Atleast I have the laptop and the warmth of my bed to comfort me, but it would be nice to have a boyfriend here. Oh well, i'll tough it out, like I have for years. But hopefully when I start taking birth control, it will well, be controlled. Finally. UGGH.