new year- junior year starts tomorrow =(
so i know i havent updated in a really long time. btu i decided that im gonna try and start this thing up again. so im listening to my sleep mix on my itunes and i sorta tired i guess but i cant get to sleep. i just finished talking to paul gavin, who could be one of the illest people i've met. deirdre moved back to penn which pisses me off but shes happy so whatev. im once again single and i basically stalk this kid luke, who i saw at a party in crestwood on saturday but since im stupid, i didnt say anything to him =( whatev. im retarded i get it. im not looking foward to this school year at all. basically i think that junior year is going to suck, a lot. but i cant help that i guess. i really have to focus though.
so i really want a boyfriend, like badly. im done with the pimp/slut life. i dont like it. it doesnt make me happy and i just cant take being used anymore. i just want someone to care about me as much as i would care about them maybe even more. i spoke to louis last night who told me the cuitest thing. he told me that lots of guys wanna go out with me i just dont know how to choose the right ones. and he doesnt understand why i dont go out with guys because he said i was pretty, i get along with guys really well, i'll always be there for my boyfriend no matter what, and i'm fun to be around and all this cute stuff. so of course, i started crying. i guess im just still obsessed/ in love with pat buttner, and i need someone better than him to get over him. not gonna happen anytime soon i've realized.
sean has been a big help to me lately. although he imed me the other night and asked me what the chances are of us going out or hooking up. and i guess i got a little scared by that question cuase hes one of ryans friends from school but whatev.
its 2:02 and i really should be getting to bed. im listening to imogen heap and its making me fall asleep a little more.
this weekend was pretty good. i saw deirdre which was amazing. ryan and sean drove lacey kristina and i up there. it was pretty awesome. met some cool kids. then lacey kristina ryan sean deirdre paul jackie lia cody junie and i all slept at deirdres. once again a full house. it was fun and i really love the people up there. saturday we played football, yes me, and i complained the whole time. so i let kristina take my place and i took a nap in pauls car. when we left deirdres we went to laceys and went to tommy kildolf's party in crestwood which got broken up but whatever. i saw a lot of people i love there, mike dunn, jlew, charlie o'connor, peter.... and some other people who i had met at OAR this summer, morgan, ryan paul, bave.... and i saw the love of my life. not pat buttner but luke. *sigh* but i know i cant have him either so i should really give up on that. i was an idiot though, cause i didnt talk to him at all which i should have cause that could have been my only chance but i guess i just suck at life. no suprise. i didnt think he was THAT hot though. like in his pictures hes cute and then i saw him in person and wanted to drop dead. ughhhhh its not fair. i have to lower my standards and go out with fat ugly smelly guys. hahaha yeah right
tuesday im going to jack johnson with lacey kristina and ryan walpole. that should be awesomestatic. well actaully we're sitting on a rock, and then friday i'm going to the san janero's feast with ryan louis kristina and lacey which is pretty exciting since i love them all. saturday i'm helping mike walker unpack and settle in the city and then going to my lover ashley's house....so exciting.
well i guess i'll go to bed now...2:09.. gotta wake up at 6:30. pfff we'll see how that works out.
so i really want a boyfriend, like badly. im done with the pimp/slut life. i dont like it. it doesnt make me happy and i just cant take being used anymore. i just want someone to care about me as much as i would care about them maybe even more. i spoke to louis last night who told me the cuitest thing. he told me that lots of guys wanna go out with me i just dont know how to choose the right ones. and he doesnt understand why i dont go out with guys because he said i was pretty, i get along with guys really well, i'll always be there for my boyfriend no matter what, and i'm fun to be around and all this cute stuff. so of course, i started crying. i guess im just still obsessed/ in love with pat buttner, and i need someone better than him to get over him. not gonna happen anytime soon i've realized.
sean has been a big help to me lately. although he imed me the other night and asked me what the chances are of us going out or hooking up. and i guess i got a little scared by that question cuase hes one of ryans friends from school but whatev.
its 2:02 and i really should be getting to bed. im listening to imogen heap and its making me fall asleep a little more.
this weekend was pretty good. i saw deirdre which was amazing. ryan and sean drove lacey kristina and i up there. it was pretty awesome. met some cool kids. then lacey kristina ryan sean deirdre paul jackie lia cody junie and i all slept at deirdres. once again a full house. it was fun and i really love the people up there. saturday we played football, yes me, and i complained the whole time. so i let kristina take my place and i took a nap in pauls car. when we left deirdres we went to laceys and went to tommy kildolf's party in crestwood which got broken up but whatever. i saw a lot of people i love there, mike dunn, jlew, charlie o'connor, peter.... and some other people who i had met at OAR this summer, morgan, ryan paul, bave.... and i saw the love of my life. not pat buttner but luke. *sigh* but i know i cant have him either so i should really give up on that. i was an idiot though, cause i didnt talk to him at all which i should have cause that could have been my only chance but i guess i just suck at life. no suprise. i didnt think he was THAT hot though. like in his pictures hes cute and then i saw him in person and wanted to drop dead. ughhhhh its not fair. i have to lower my standards and go out with fat ugly smelly guys. hahaha yeah right
tuesday im going to jack johnson with lacey kristina and ryan walpole. that should be awesomestatic. well actaully we're sitting on a rock, and then friday i'm going to the san janero's feast with ryan louis kristina and lacey which is pretty exciting since i love them all. saturday i'm helping mike walker unpack and settle in the city and then going to my lover ashley's house....so exciting.
well i guess i'll go to bed now...2:09.. gotta wake up at 6:30. pfff we'll see how that works out.