This is another depressing entry, my poor live-friend...
I don't know why I always do it.
I always hurt the people I love the most.
I say things I don't mean...things that are so far from reality they have no business being thought...but I say them. I say them unthinkingly...they remain completely foreign to me, some crazed constructs that are alien entities until they are uttered, and then I am left thinking "Jesus, what the FUCK did I just say?"
And then I do things unthinkingly...or not. Sometimes the not is just as bad.
I don't do it on purpose. Christ, I don't even think about it. Impulse. Impulse that is stoked by a fire I can't see.
Do I really need to see a doctor to figure out what's wrong with me? Everything I see tells me I am a sociopath...a crazed lunatic waiting for the next person I can leach onto and devalue.
Maybe I am just a terrible person, because the person I am to the people I love the most is a vile and disgusting thing.
I always hurt the people I love the most.
I say things I don't mean...things that are so far from reality they have no business being thought...but I say them. I say them unthinkingly...they remain completely foreign to me, some crazed constructs that are alien entities until they are uttered, and then I am left thinking "Jesus, what the FUCK did I just say?"
And then I do things unthinkingly...or not. Sometimes the not is just as bad.
I don't do it on purpose. Christ, I don't even think about it. Impulse. Impulse that is stoked by a fire I can't see.
Do I really need to see a doctor to figure out what's wrong with me? Everything I see tells me I am a sociopath...a crazed lunatic waiting for the next person I can leach onto and devalue.
Maybe I am just a terrible person, because the person I am to the people I love the most is a vile and disgusting thing.