Bad dreams of worse intentions

[danarchylives]

It starts with me walking through the door to the hall, greeted by a familiar face. He laughs giddily and tells me to follow him. We walk down a hallway, lined with people all sporting the same smug smirk, like they know something I don't. They take me to the door of a Lacrosse player...and out from the door come the sounds of someone I made love to, loud and true and painful. And everyone begins to laugh at me. I bang on the door and bang and bang and all that I get is the return of that banging, and the screams of delight that used to be the ones I'd cause. But it's not me in there. It's some sleazy, rich, popped collar asshole. I run screaming out the door, only to find myself in the courtyard, looking through the window, at the look of pure, jealousy-inducing pleasure on the face of the girl I love.

I wake up sweating...nearly crying...with one of the worst sick feelings ever gnawing at my gut, and I wonder if this is really happening.

It probably is.

Only a woman, afterall.....

I hate myself.