oooooh im waiting for a breakdown-mae
ok its time for dana to spill.
topic one: friends.
i miss them. seriously the 2 ppl i considered my closets friends in the world have zero time for me(i am apart of this aswell). and this is not a "poor pitiful me" thing its more of a "geesh i wish they would make some effort" thing. i mean after awhile i dont want to make any effort to see how you are or whatch you been up too. and so a cycle begins and dont understand why our senior year when im not going to see you guys ever again until one of us gets married or has a kid or worse dies is it that we are drifting. cuz as far as im concerned you two are my favorite ppl in the world and will always be believe it or not. and i think you both know who you are.
topic two: health.
i have an ultra-sound and lab work tommorrow at 1pm. this means i have to drink 42 ounces of water two hours before one(ehmm 11am) and hold it all in(as in no blatter releaving) until its all done. ok not too horrible ive done it before.-update-reoccurance of old problems. my PCD is ever so active and its simply causing problems. now of course as i always do-i will be getting over this hurdle. i just wish things were easier sometimes.
topic three: school.
love it/hate it. the end.
topic four: church.
seriously the only place i feel at home anymore is in that building. i might as well move in.
topic five: family.
dad is still gone and will be for another week. today is his birthday. my mom is very sad about it. she crys a lot. seriously my parents are so in love its almost scary. i just hope that i too can find someone like that. my sister is doing good as far as i know. she is a very lost person though. i know she will find her way..or may already know it but just cant give up other things to get there. i love her. she is the puzzle piece to me. i will be in Chicago visiting her the first weekend in Nov(missing the first speech meet) but it was planned previously and it is a family thing. my grandma turned 79 yesterday. she looks maybe 62. i hope i get that gene.
topic six: in general.
i have overwhelming and bittersweet feelings all the time. for instance, im turing 18 in under 3 weeks. im pumped of course. but i dont want to grow up really. or i miss all my friends but im making so many new ones. i think its just a stage in life. makes me want to be a little kid again.
it just seems like everything is overwhelming me at once. even the happy things are adding to the whelming. i think i might cry. maybe it will help. dont get me wrong i love life. its just one of those up/down days when you just have to release and i suppose feeling physically weak just adds to it.
i am looking forward to a new day.
topic one: friends.
i miss them. seriously the 2 ppl i considered my closets friends in the world have zero time for me(i am apart of this aswell). and this is not a "poor pitiful me" thing its more of a "geesh i wish they would make some effort" thing. i mean after awhile i dont want to make any effort to see how you are or whatch you been up too. and so a cycle begins and dont understand why our senior year when im not going to see you guys ever again until one of us gets married or has a kid or worse dies is it that we are drifting. cuz as far as im concerned you two are my favorite ppl in the world and will always be believe it or not. and i think you both know who you are.
topic two: health.
i have an ultra-sound and lab work tommorrow at 1pm. this means i have to drink 42 ounces of water two hours before one(ehmm 11am) and hold it all in(as in no blatter releaving) until its all done. ok not too horrible ive done it before.-update-reoccurance of old problems. my PCD is ever so active and its simply causing problems. now of course as i always do-i will be getting over this hurdle. i just wish things were easier sometimes.
topic three: school.
love it/hate it. the end.
topic four: church.
seriously the only place i feel at home anymore is in that building. i might as well move in.
topic five: family.
dad is still gone and will be for another week. today is his birthday. my mom is very sad about it. she crys a lot. seriously my parents are so in love its almost scary. i just hope that i too can find someone like that. my sister is doing good as far as i know. she is a very lost person though. i know she will find her way..or may already know it but just cant give up other things to get there. i love her. she is the puzzle piece to me. i will be in Chicago visiting her the first weekend in Nov(missing the first speech meet) but it was planned previously and it is a family thing. my grandma turned 79 yesterday. she looks maybe 62. i hope i get that gene.
topic six: in general.
i have overwhelming and bittersweet feelings all the time. for instance, im turing 18 in under 3 weeks. im pumped of course. but i dont want to grow up really. or i miss all my friends but im making so many new ones. i think its just a stage in life. makes me want to be a little kid again.
it just seems like everything is overwhelming me at once. even the happy things are adding to the whelming. i think i might cry. maybe it will help. dont get me wrong i love life. its just one of those up/down days when you just have to release and i suppose feeling physically weak just adds to it.
i am looking forward to a new day.