A modest airflight proposal
Having discussed the new flight restrictions (no liquid, etc) with coworkers, and discovered to my horror that several of them think that they are entirely reasonable and see no reason for the restrictions ever to be lifted, I started thinking about obvious next steps.
In the UK, they've already gone to the obvious next step - no carryon baggage whatsoever, unless you 1. can prove that it's absolutely necessary (money, passport, glasses, the bare minimum of prescription medication that you need to survive the flight) and 2. put it in a seethrough plastic bag. While glasses are allowed, glasses cases are not.
After that, I suppose, comes the step of no baggage at all. I suggest that current luggage check-in counters be converted to shipping counters - have your baggage shipped separately from you. It may require you to stay at the airport a little longer afterwards, because of course the flights that actually carry your luggage should be randomized to prevent any ability of terrorists to plan anything - as long as it shows up within a day of your own flight, that should be fine, right?
Next, I suggest, we should address an undiscussed security threat: clothing simply provides far too many opportunities to conceal things. Airports can offer cheap disposable robes to fly in, and your clothing will follow along with your luggage on a separate flight. After all, unless you want to commit a crime, why should this be a problem? And it would make everything much safer.
This still leaves the ability to conceal things *ahem* internally, or simply the un-removable "concealed weapon" of a martial art. Since we've already realized that every passenger must be treated as a possible terrorist, these two problems can both be solved by simply handcuffing every passenger as they sit down. This will also add more jobs to the workforce, as more airline attendants will have to be hired to accompany all passengers to the restrooms. (Also, think of all the jobs provided by the factors retrofitting planes to have larger restrooms to allow for such accompaniment!)
Some may argue that at this point, passengers will be very unhappy during flights, especially the longer ones. Well, we have solutions for that as well! Upon seating, directly after being cuffed to your seat, flight attendants will pass out a sedative. The dose can depend on your flight, so that you only remain unconscious for the duration of your flight.
After all, don't you want your safety?
In the UK, they've already gone to the obvious next step - no carryon baggage whatsoever, unless you 1. can prove that it's absolutely necessary (money, passport, glasses, the bare minimum of prescription medication that you need to survive the flight) and 2. put it in a seethrough plastic bag. While glasses are allowed, glasses cases are not.
After that, I suppose, comes the step of no baggage at all. I suggest that current luggage check-in counters be converted to shipping counters - have your baggage shipped separately from you. It may require you to stay at the airport a little longer afterwards, because of course the flights that actually carry your luggage should be randomized to prevent any ability of terrorists to plan anything - as long as it shows up within a day of your own flight, that should be fine, right?
Next, I suggest, we should address an undiscussed security threat: clothing simply provides far too many opportunities to conceal things. Airports can offer cheap disposable robes to fly in, and your clothing will follow along with your luggage on a separate flight. After all, unless you want to commit a crime, why should this be a problem? And it would make everything much safer.
This still leaves the ability to conceal things *ahem* internally, or simply the un-removable "concealed weapon" of a martial art. Since we've already realized that every passenger must be treated as a possible terrorist, these two problems can both be solved by simply handcuffing every passenger as they sit down. This will also add more jobs to the workforce, as more airline attendants will have to be hired to accompany all passengers to the restrooms. (Also, think of all the jobs provided by the factors retrofitting planes to have larger restrooms to allow for such accompaniment!)
Some may argue that at this point, passengers will be very unhappy during flights, especially the longer ones. Well, we have solutions for that as well! Upon seating, directly after being cuffed to your seat, flight attendants will pass out a sedative. The dose can depend on your flight, so that you only remain unconscious for the duration of your flight.
After all, don't you want your safety?