A-Team quotes
Hello!
Inspired by the "favourite quotes" question on the A-Team Friending Meme, I hath brought a humble collection of the quotes that I write down like a massive nerd while I watch the show. They are amusing to me so maybe they will also be amusing to you.
Director: Johnny. I want 30 seconds underwater. 30 seconds AFTER action. You’re popping up like the rubber duck in my kid’s bathtub.
Hannibal: I gotta stay down there two minutes for the water to get still. You want thirty seconds after that, you gotta be nuts.
Director: Hey pal, that’s the job! The guy we had in Aquamaniac 1 stayed down four minutes.
Hannibal: Then why isn’t he doing it now?
Director: He had a little brain haemorrhage or something, I don’t know.
Hannibal: (dressed as a giant sea monster) Watch this. I think I got a real handle on my character here. I’m playing me, but with a kind of a sad reluctance.
Murdock: Sorry, my mother was on the phone.
Amy: Your mother. On the file I got on you, it said she died when you were five.
Murdock: She did. But I had a line put in, you know. What a hassle. The telephone company, they don’t cooperate. Took a while but we’re solid now.
Murdock: (in a room by himself, standing on a cabinet) Have you seen my dog Billy? Hey, whatchu doin man? Step off, step off! (to nurse) Did you bring any candy?
Murdock: I’m not nuts, I keep telling everybody. Don’t you think I wanna get out of here and see ET just like everybody else?
Lynch: I have a sick feeling that you’re faking all this.
Murdock: If you could prove that, I’d sure appreciate it, ‘cause they think I’m loony tunes, and I keep telling ‘em (twitches) MAN I’m gonna hit you right alongside the head (twitches) Alouette, gentille Alouette, Alouette je te plumerai. (twitches) Get off my pant leg man, I tell you I can’t deal with it when you grab around my pants leg all the time.
Hannibal: How many fingers am I holding up?
Face: (lying on his back, dazed) Blue! Tree...
Hannibal: Murdock, how’d I let you talk me into this?
Murdock: I don’t know, I have intermittent memory loss.
Face: (undercover) I’d like a complete list of everyone whom this, uh, Murdock has come in contact with.
Nurse: He spends most of his time by himself.
Murdock: And with my doggy, Billy. What about my dog, nurse? He’s been in that same position for a month.
Face: This man has a DOG???
Nurse: Ah, no. You see, there is no dog.
Murdock: Oh no he’s gone, it’s too late!
Hannibal: It’s all part of my plan.
Murdock: Plan? I didn’t hear anything about any plan. I must be fading in and out again.
Hannibal: It’s the same plan we used to take down that Cong General in ‘Nam.
Face: You mean the one where I took it in the leg?
Murdock: The one where I got shot down?!
BA: That was a terrible plan!
Hannibal: (pleased) Now we got all the kinks worked out of it.
Murdock: (about dentist) She’s gonna put braces all over my teeth and sell my lips to a bologna factory!
Murdock: (in German accent, to nuts) Zees are the happy nuts. Zees are the sad nuts. That is a dead nut. Unt zees are the nuts waiting in line to find out what kind of nuts they are. (starts speaking to them in German)
Woman: It’s hard to believe I’m spending time with one of the top neurologists in the country! ...But you’ve barely said one thing about your job.
Face: Well, it’s a job like any other, you know. Nerves, synapses, ganglions... Stuff like that.
Face: (in a plane with Murdock, looking at the bad guys’ truck) I’d say they’re travelling at about 50 miles an hour.
Murdock: Well, I’ll keep this baby at about 70, minimum airspeed, do a couple 360s, loop or two and stay right with ‘em.
Face: Can we do it without the loops?
Murdock: Uh-uh.
Hillbilly: Hey! You know what I do to guys that don’t shut up? I take me some piano wire and sew their lips together.
Murdock: That would hurt.
Murdock: (through door, to girl who’s just kissed him) I’ll park your van by the side of the road. And I like you. (hurries away)
Face: (about tied up, angry BA) I’d rather sit naked with a king cobra than let him out of that.
Murdock: Colonel, I’d like to lodge a complaint. BA just tried to insert a can of Hi-Brite into my mouth. Now it didn’t go in... but it hurt.
Old lady: (looking at Murdock’s book) ‘Abnormal Psychology’! Are you a psychiatrist?
Murdock: No ma’am, I’m insane.
Old lady: Oh. Would you like a soda cracker with your soup?
Murdock: Thank you.
Murdock: (pretending to be sleeptalking) I can’t take it no more, the midgets are all over the floor. Oh, their hands are larger than my feet!
BA: Man, how do you put up with yourself?
Murdock: It’s difficult, at times.
Thug: I told you to get out of here. Maybe next time you’ll listen.
Hannibal: I doubt it. I’m stubborn. It’s a serious character flaw.
Murdock: I had a cat once, but every time I tried to give him a bath, the fur stuck to my tongue.
Murdock: Murdock does not shake hands. Murdock does not play sports. Murdock does not open canned food.
Art gallery owner: Murdock, welcome to your new studio.
Murdock: I don’t get it. I’ve already got a studio, and that studio and I go back a long way. Long before home video cassette recorders.
Murdock: (trapped under a fallen tree) I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay. I got no legs but what the hey.
Murdock: Face, I don’t know what to say. I’m scared to death of dentists. I keep thinking they’re not fixing my teeth but that they’re hiding stuff in there. Dog toys, vacuum cleaners, who knows. Who knows?
Murdock: Can I tell you what I’m really, truly, honest to Gumbo scared of? Fruit bats. They’re awful, Face. They’re all over the South. Backwood terrors of the night.
Waiter: Would anyone like some coffee?
Face: That’d be nice.
Waiter: How would you like it?
BA: In a cup, fool!
Murdock: I couldn’t remember who wanted mustard on their hot dogs and who didn’t, so I got pigs’ feet.
Face: (to thug who has his foot on Face’s car bumper) Excuse me, would you mind terribly taking your foot off down the bumper there? No offense, but it’s so rude.
Thug: I’m a rude guy.
Face: Oh! Well, in that case, go right ahead.
Woman: I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.
Face: You don’t?