I Just Have To Say.....
Excuse me but who has been the manipulative one? Who's used who to promote their propoganda? Who has twisted what was a TOTAL coincidence into something sinister? Not me. I've been used as the pawn in whatever fucked up game is being played. I've only been needed because I'll listen to what is said and depending on what it is tell apparently "the right people". I'll admit that I'm a gossip, I know it's not a great personality trait. And I'll try to change it. I guess I've just been too trusting and thus blind to fact that I've was being used because of that trait.
I'm not trying to make this all "Poor Amanda", I hate pity parties. I'm just stating that I hate that now I feel like I have to question people before I trust them. I've never wanted to be someone that always questions others motives. I hate that I feel the need to question those who have always been truthful with me, and that as a result of that I may lose them.
I'm done with those people who I know have used me in this manner. Because I know myself, at least a little bit, I request that if you belong to the aforementioned category that you just leave me alone. I'm hurt and people say things when they are hurt that sometimes they regret and I'd rather not have that happen. I'd rather that the pain end with me.
I'm not trying to make this all "Poor Amanda", I hate pity parties. I'm just stating that I hate that now I feel like I have to question people before I trust them. I've never wanted to be someone that always questions others motives. I hate that I feel the need to question those who have always been truthful with me, and that as a result of that I may lose them.
I'm done with those people who I know have used me in this manner. Because I know myself, at least a little bit, I request that if you belong to the aforementioned category that you just leave me alone. I'm hurt and people say things when they are hurt that sometimes they regret and I'd rather not have that happen. I'd rather that the pain end with me.