Good Times
Well my depressed time of the year is over. I am done with school, for now. Christmas with my family should be fun....hopefully. When I am away from my family, I realize how bad they treat me and how completely selfish they are. Lately, I have been trying to stay away. My Mom wants me to pay money I can't afford to pay. My Dad ruined my trust for him while I was working for him...He just can't help but lie to me. I don't understand where our relationship got like that. I just remember the exact moment my heart fell into the floor becuase the man that said he would never lie...lied just to save himself a couple of bucks at his duaghters expense. The whole world was against me at that time, but now that I see my family for what they are, it makes it easier to go down their for the holidays.
December 5, is always hard for me. I often wonder what it would be like if I had a child. I wonder how different things would be. I wonder if Rachael would have got pregnant after watching her sister raise a child. It really bothers me. It makes me realize somethings about the lifes we lead, and how everyone else is effected by our choices.
I hung out with a new group of friends in school this sem. They were all in my Calculus 2 class with me. They were really nice. I am really glad I meet them, but I think I let just a bit to much info about old Dana rise to the surface. When she comes out, I think I am invincible. Old Dana doesn't give to rats asses about anything. It is lie she is me Id. I act childish just like the people I was hanging with. They all do what they want. I saw it come out the last time I hung out with them. I got comfortable and Old Dana popped her ugly head in. I am just glad I caught it.
Non-the-less, I am in a great mood. My computer is fixed, and I started a new character named Beauty. She is a gnome Warlock. She has Princess laya hair and she is so tiny and cute...she reminds me of Rachael. I miss Rachy. I really love my sisters. Even though they have their own problems I love them. I told my concilor about Racheal's many attempts on my live. He said I should try to stay away from her even though she is medicated. She is so sweet though..when she doesn't want to kill me. I love Rachy. Allyssa she tries to do right all the time. She has everything together, but I can't help but feel like Iannoy her. I know that must sound silly, but everytime I try to get close to her I feel like she is pushing me away the whole time. Maybe I am just too white trash. What ever it is. Oh well.
December 5, is always hard for me. I often wonder what it would be like if I had a child. I wonder how different things would be. I wonder if Rachael would have got pregnant after watching her sister raise a child. It really bothers me. It makes me realize somethings about the lifes we lead, and how everyone else is effected by our choices.
I hung out with a new group of friends in school this sem. They were all in my Calculus 2 class with me. They were really nice. I am really glad I meet them, but I think I let just a bit to much info about old Dana rise to the surface. When she comes out, I think I am invincible. Old Dana doesn't give to rats asses about anything. It is lie she is me Id. I act childish just like the people I was hanging with. They all do what they want. I saw it come out the last time I hung out with them. I got comfortable and Old Dana popped her ugly head in. I am just glad I caught it.
Non-the-less, I am in a great mood. My computer is fixed, and I started a new character named Beauty. She is a gnome Warlock. She has Princess laya hair and she is so tiny and cute...she reminds me of Rachael. I miss Rachy. I really love my sisters. Even though they have their own problems I love them. I told my concilor about Racheal's many attempts on my live. He said I should try to stay away from her even though she is medicated. She is so sweet though..when she doesn't want to kill me. I love Rachy. Allyssa she tries to do right all the time. She has everything together, but I can't help but feel like Iannoy her. I know that must sound silly, but everytime I try to get close to her I feel like she is pushing me away the whole time. Maybe I am just too white trash. What ever it is. Oh well.