Sinking in
This morning, I was sorting all my various medications into the weekly dispenser, and looked at my freshly-refilled heart medications (2 of them), just realizing I will likely have some left over after the heart surgery. It took a hot minute, letting it sink in that these medications (which I've taken over 20 years) will no longer be part of my life anymore. No more stressing out, then worrying that the stress I already have might trigger my heart condition, then having THAT stress trigger the heart condition, etc. Things like high-altitude places, allergy medications and aerobic exercise won't be hindered by "can my heart handle this" (though in the case of the last one, my knees will probably still be an issue). Wow. That WILL be a change. I wonder if it will feel any different? Will I be less tired? Less anxious? Or is it just one small step towards a more functional, fulfilling life for me?
Meanwhile, I'm doing my best to keep up with all the holiday stuff, on top of my Dad's medical/home care (a responsibility which unfortunately never takes a holiday). I have parties, events and family activities planned for every weekend up through New Years, on top of more shopping to get done, so I'm stressed but still keeping positive and trying to remember to take time to rest in between the chaos of festivities. Also trying to delegate smaller stuff when I can, to lessen the load a bit.
I also realized there's a couple of long-distance friends that I haven't been keeping in touch with recently, and are going through some real struggles with cancer. That's on me - making a point of touching base with them both by phone today and tomorrow, because the last thing I want to do is isolate people I care about just because my own life is a little crazy. The occasional FB post doesn't really cut it when someone is really going through it and needs a friend.
Anyway, that's my update for now. Wishing you all a good weekend ahead!