Grief and other injuries.
So on Monday, I got called at work by a lady who works with one of my oldest, kindest, most loyal friends. By "oldest" I mean I've known her since we were both 13 years old and just starting high school, but her physical age was the same as mine, far too young to be considered a normal time to be found dead in her home, from some unknown ailment. One day, she went home sick saying she felt tired and her legs were tingly. The next day, she didn't show up to work, and didn't call. The day after that...they found her. Gone in her sleep, apparently, with her poor dog curled up at her feet, waiting for her to wake up.
Needless to say, I've been going through some hard feelings this week. I was the first one that knew outside of her friends on the island, so I was the one that had to call her sister, who then called up her father and the kids. Then I started calling our mutual friends, all of which have known her for several decades, all hurting and shocked, to varying degrees. Trying to find out if I can make it out to her memorial service, but I don't know how we're going to scrape up the money to fly me to Hawaii again on short notice. We cancelled our plans to go to a show and other extras, just to start saving now and get ready to be there for our chosen family.
I cannot stress how very, very much I love this friend. We've been each others shelter in the worst of times, celebrated the good times, laughed together, sung, fought and laughed again. She was so strong, and yet so caring and sensitive, at the same time. She was beautiful. And I can't believe she's gone now.
Meanwhile, my husbands cellulitus still hasn't cleared, and he was starting to have symptoms yesterday and today that made me think he's falling into early stages of sepsis. Off to urgent care again, to see what he needs to recover from the wound that just won't quit. He was resisting going in again because we're so strapped for cash now and he's already had 7 rounds of various meds to try and fix it, but enough is enough. I can't lose him too.
The only good news right now is that 1) my aunts ceremony last week went well, 2) my dad is doing much better and loves the comfort items we brought him, and 3) my friend had an extremely dedicated, supportive group of friends on the island, who are taking care of everything from security at her house to finding homes for her dog and the kitties she looked over. Everyone I've talked to there, even the police that took away the body, said they knew her well, and everyone knew of her kindness, humor and strong personality.
I've heard that saying before that pain shared is pain lessened....honestly, I'm not fully there yet, but I'm sure that plus time will dull the sting eventually. In the meantime, I'm just doing my best.
Needless to say, I've been going through some hard feelings this week. I was the first one that knew outside of her friends on the island, so I was the one that had to call her sister, who then called up her father and the kids. Then I started calling our mutual friends, all of which have known her for several decades, all hurting and shocked, to varying degrees. Trying to find out if I can make it out to her memorial service, but I don't know how we're going to scrape up the money to fly me to Hawaii again on short notice. We cancelled our plans to go to a show and other extras, just to start saving now and get ready to be there for our chosen family.
I cannot stress how very, very much I love this friend. We've been each others shelter in the worst of times, celebrated the good times, laughed together, sung, fought and laughed again. She was so strong, and yet so caring and sensitive, at the same time. She was beautiful. And I can't believe she's gone now.
Meanwhile, my husbands cellulitus still hasn't cleared, and he was starting to have symptoms yesterday and today that made me think he's falling into early stages of sepsis. Off to urgent care again, to see what he needs to recover from the wound that just won't quit. He was resisting going in again because we're so strapped for cash now and he's already had 7 rounds of various meds to try and fix it, but enough is enough. I can't lose him too.
The only good news right now is that 1) my aunts ceremony last week went well, 2) my dad is doing much better and loves the comfort items we brought him, and 3) my friend had an extremely dedicated, supportive group of friends on the island, who are taking care of everything from security at her house to finding homes for her dog and the kitties she looked over. Everyone I've talked to there, even the police that took away the body, said they knew her well, and everyone knew of her kindness, humor and strong personality.
I've heard that saying before that pain shared is pain lessened....honestly, I'm not fully there yet, but I'm sure that plus time will dull the sting eventually. In the meantime, I'm just doing my best.