losin' cause you're playin by the rules of the game
I feel very defeated today. Today was my day to regroup and assess all the jobs I've applied to. Almost every one that I have called back is not hiring anymore. And honestly, the people I talk to on the phone are insufferable morons. And I am begging for them to be my boss.
My dad is pissed. pissed like, he said "we need to talk" in a text message to me today. disappointing him makes me feel lower than dirt. I feel guilty. I feel sorry i didn't go to college for IT systems or something that there are good jobs in. I really was mislead in school, and was so idealistic and naive about shit. So now here, in this new place, accepting hard realities....is hard.
I didn't even know that I can't get a job as a secretary. there is fucking secretary SCHOOL.
I just feel like I am at the bottom end of a scale. like people I went to high school with who are married and have kids are at the top, and me and alana who is homeless are at the bottom. or something. like life continues to be some popularity contest.
there is hope though i suppose, there always has to be. i am anticipating the soap nazis to call this week and tell me when i start. they said this depends on calling my references though. that should be fine, but it feels like there is some window for things to fall apart. Pacsun is still hiring, and i think it would be wicked fun to work there again. I also applied to like 4 more jobs today. And it's only been a month right? And the economy is in the shitter right? I dunno what was to be expected.
.
My dad is pissed. pissed like, he said "we need to talk" in a text message to me today. disappointing him makes me feel lower than dirt. I feel guilty. I feel sorry i didn't go to college for IT systems or something that there are good jobs in. I really was mislead in school, and was so idealistic and naive about shit. So now here, in this new place, accepting hard realities....is hard.
I didn't even know that I can't get a job as a secretary. there is fucking secretary SCHOOL.
I just feel like I am at the bottom end of a scale. like people I went to high school with who are married and have kids are at the top, and me and alana who is homeless are at the bottom. or something. like life continues to be some popularity contest.
there is hope though i suppose, there always has to be. i am anticipating the soap nazis to call this week and tell me when i start. they said this depends on calling my references though. that should be fine, but it feels like there is some window for things to fall apart. Pacsun is still hiring, and i think it would be wicked fun to work there again. I also applied to like 4 more jobs today. And it's only been a month right? And the economy is in the shitter right? I dunno what was to be expected.
.