a slow desent
i always thought that i would be somewhere right now, going into my senior year. i thought i'd have a job, maybe a boyfriend, plans for the future...
i wish i could go back and try to be that way. i just signed up for all my classes at school and edison. my senior year is going to suck.
before summer started i was so excited to get into shape for soccer. i couldn't wait to try out for varsity and actually be good at something. but the first weekend of summer i end up throwing a party at my house, piercing my lip, started smoking cigarettes and drinking wayyy too much. oh and quitting my job; can't forget that.
so now i can't even run half a mile without almost passing out. i drink almost every night, even if i'm alone. which is so sad. and i smoke a pack a day. i don't know what i want to do after senior year, if i even make it to graduation. i feel like i'm watching myself go downhill, but i don't want to save myself. i'm happy. i love all of my friends, i love smoking, and i love not having a job. i just wish i had money.
fuckkkkkkkkk. i need help.
i wish i could go back and try to be that way. i just signed up for all my classes at school and edison. my senior year is going to suck.
before summer started i was so excited to get into shape for soccer. i couldn't wait to try out for varsity and actually be good at something. but the first weekend of summer i end up throwing a party at my house, piercing my lip, started smoking cigarettes and drinking wayyy too much. oh and quitting my job; can't forget that.
so now i can't even run half a mile without almost passing out. i drink almost every night, even if i'm alone. which is so sad. and i smoke a pack a day. i don't know what i want to do after senior year, if i even make it to graduation. i feel like i'm watching myself go downhill, but i don't want to save myself. i'm happy. i love all of my friends, i love smoking, and i love not having a job. i just wish i had money.
fuckkkkkkkkk. i need help.