(no subject)
Dear Gonorrhea Geyser,
By the time you read this, I'll be servicing your sister. I'm sorry for doing this but, it fulfills my sadistic fantasies. I know this might comes as a bit of a answered prayer to you - especially because you're too buried in porn to notice. But I'm sorry - I just need hot sex with someone who isn't a human potato sack. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a Republican, and I'm vastly superior to you. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat mayonnaise-based salads, and enjoy quilting, and I don't like one of these things. Your favorite movie is ......, and your favorite band is C&C Music Factory. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date an entire troupe of Chippendales. But you know what? I still want to be stalked. We can totally have hot sloppy booty calls . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I'm passed out) . But please, don't get all John Wayne Gacy like last time. That means no botched suicide attempts. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $37,229 you owe me, or the fact that you threw bleach on my face. So take care of yourself - and O.D. on Botox.
Peace Out,
Daniel Funk Estrin
P.S. I faked every orgasm.
By the way.
By the time you read this, I'll be servicing your sister. I'm sorry for doing this but, it fulfills my sadistic fantasies. I know this might comes as a bit of a answered prayer to you - especially because you're too buried in porn to notice. But I'm sorry - I just need hot sex with someone who isn't a human potato sack. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a Republican, and I'm vastly superior to you. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat mayonnaise-based salads, and enjoy quilting, and I don't like one of these things. Your favorite movie is ......, and your favorite band is C&C Music Factory. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date an entire troupe of Chippendales. But you know what? I still want to be stalked. We can totally have hot sloppy booty calls . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I'm passed out) . But please, don't get all John Wayne Gacy like last time. That means no botched suicide attempts. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $37,229 you owe me, or the fact that you threw bleach on my face. So take care of yourself - and O.D. on Botox.
Peace Out,
Daniel Funk Estrin
P.S. I faked every orgasm.
By the way.