Just another day...
So, Monday came and went just like any other day - only it wasn’t just any other day. It was my ex’s birthday. Not that it mattered to me, or that I cared even. It just caused me to stop and think about how his life must be and wonder how he can even live with himself. How can a person go through life knowing they have a child, abandoned that child, and not want to make contact with her on their birthday…His or Hers. Can you imagine not having your own daughter call to wish you Happy Birthday? Can you imagine not having even attempted to call your child on her birthday - or any other day in the last 5 years? He’s been gone for almost 9 years and it’s as if he doesn’t exist. I just can’t imagine life that way.
I think what really occurred to me was that she doesn’t even know when his birthday is. She has never really asked. She’s old enough now to know he has one, and to ask. But she doesn’t. To her he is a ghost of some person that she thinks she knows, but doesn’t really remember. Only asking the really ‘deep’ questions from time to time that I have to search a way to make the truth ‘age appropriate’ when I answer. And I never withhold the truth. God love her…
Life is good though. She and I are the better for it. She has shown me the inner strength I never knew I had throughout the last 9 years, and although I’ve been through some very difficult situations and learned to be one tough little cookie…nothing prepared me for the strength I needed when he left. And there she was - giving it to me each step of the way. Bless her little heart. I love my sweet little girl.
I can’t help but smile. My life is good. Every single day of it.
I think what really occurred to me was that she doesn’t even know when his birthday is. She has never really asked. She’s old enough now to know he has one, and to ask. But she doesn’t. To her he is a ghost of some person that she thinks she knows, but doesn’t really remember. Only asking the really ‘deep’ questions from time to time that I have to search a way to make the truth ‘age appropriate’ when I answer. And I never withhold the truth. God love her…
Life is good though. She and I are the better for it. She has shown me the inner strength I never knew I had throughout the last 9 years, and although I’ve been through some very difficult situations and learned to be one tough little cookie…nothing prepared me for the strength I needed when he left. And there she was - giving it to me each step of the way. Bless her little heart. I love my sweet little girl.
I can’t help but smile. My life is good. Every single day of it.