mady
Well works easy. just cooking nothing hard about that. kinda hard to make friends up there. i mean i talk with new Jack the cook that trains me. hes fun to chat with, the other cook denise i dont think she likes me for some reason.
But theres a girl there i like (d) name Kaley. But theres nothing to do about that i was to late on the game, we gad been talking alot and so forth. i enjoy talking with her. currently we are trying to plan out when we can get together for a party. I was gonna use that as a chance for me to get to know her more adn her to get to know me. but on the way home today we where talking about things. well we where talking about our past realationships and she asked me about my last ones. and then we started talking about how thise guy she likes is inexico for a trip but before he left they really hit it off she says. and we where talking about how shes gotta go to her best friends and her best friends man's place after she drops me off. and she was talking to me about how lonely she feels when shes over there and when they are holding each other and shit she just wishes this other guy was there so she can have the same feelings that they do.
And thats why im writing this. I just realize i just got this big ass empty space in me. and this lonely feeling bugs the shit outta me now. i mean i know i dont HAVE to be with someone. i just want someone there. well not just want. and not because im lonely. just i miss being with someone else i miss having someone i can really talk to. and so on. but i hate saying shit like this cause i dont want someone to be like Oh your just pissed cause your a lonely person or w/e. and i only say that cause its been throw into my face like that before.
But i cant afford a woman. i got to many problems to worry about. like what the fuck is she gonna do if i gotta go to jail for all my probation shit. not to metion child support. I hate having all this fucking baggage. i hate feeling like im shit my life is shit. i hate being so pesimistic. but fuck its been almost a year now and no matter how hard i climb outta this hole i still dont see day light.
everyday i wake up go to wrok come home and sit on my computer. Its so fucing boring. I just wanna party with my co workers like in Waiting. i try to do things but right now it just seems like its all hopeless. i know shit will be better once i get rid of SOME of this baggage but right now this probation. the class and this fucking 1000$+ fine is whats getting me the most. all this money needed but i dont have. all this bullshit. i need a car. i need a better job. i need new pants and shit. new shoes. the list goes on and on. fuck its just shit thats been stewing in my head for awhile and its starting to get harder and harder to deal with.
But theres a girl there i like (d) name Kaley. But theres nothing to do about that i was to late on the game, we gad been talking alot and so forth. i enjoy talking with her. currently we are trying to plan out when we can get together for a party. I was gonna use that as a chance for me to get to know her more adn her to get to know me. but on the way home today we where talking about things. well we where talking about our past realationships and she asked me about my last ones. and then we started talking about how thise guy she likes is inexico for a trip but before he left they really hit it off she says. and we where talking about how shes gotta go to her best friends and her best friends man's place after she drops me off. and she was talking to me about how lonely she feels when shes over there and when they are holding each other and shit she just wishes this other guy was there so she can have the same feelings that they do.
And thats why im writing this. I just realize i just got this big ass empty space in me. and this lonely feeling bugs the shit outta me now. i mean i know i dont HAVE to be with someone. i just want someone there. well not just want. and not because im lonely. just i miss being with someone else i miss having someone i can really talk to. and so on. but i hate saying shit like this cause i dont want someone to be like Oh your just pissed cause your a lonely person or w/e. and i only say that cause its been throw into my face like that before.
But i cant afford a woman. i got to many problems to worry about. like what the fuck is she gonna do if i gotta go to jail for all my probation shit. not to metion child support. I hate having all this fucking baggage. i hate feeling like im shit my life is shit. i hate being so pesimistic. but fuck its been almost a year now and no matter how hard i climb outta this hole i still dont see day light.
everyday i wake up go to wrok come home and sit on my computer. Its so fucing boring. I just wanna party with my co workers like in Waiting. i try to do things but right now it just seems like its all hopeless. i know shit will be better once i get rid of SOME of this baggage but right now this probation. the class and this fucking 1000$+ fine is whats getting me the most. all this money needed but i dont have. all this bullshit. i need a car. i need a better job. i need new pants and shit. new shoes. the list goes on and on. fuck its just shit thats been stewing in my head for awhile and its starting to get harder and harder to deal with.