Tired, Chapter 2
Title: Tired
Author: damnpetewentz
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon in this chapter, others to come
POV: Ryan,1st person.
Summary: Ryan's life experiences and events. Ryan has many ups and downs and problems with friends and relationships. Eventually, he will have to choose between two people: the one that he is in love with and has hurt him in the past or the one he loves, hurt, and owes his life to. In this chapter, why Ryan's mad and why Spence and Ryan are fighting.
Authors Notes: Flashback, so i put it in italics. First paragraph is just for set ting up as it is a flashback, and yes is not in first person. PLEASE READ AND GIVE ME CONCRIT!!!! Only 3 people commented on the last chapter and I can't get better if you don't tell me!
Three days till the end of the tour
It was after the show. The boys all climbed back on the bus. Ryan went straight to his bunk and closed the curtain, just like he did every night for the past three weeks. Brendon just stared as he did this and then walked to the back of the bus where he turned on the tv and would stare at it until Spencer or Jon made him change it. There was no more laughing. There were no more fun times and great stories. There was Spencer and Jon trying not go insane with the doldrums spirits that had inhabited their best friends and bandmates. Spencer and Jon had each tried to talk to the other two on several occasions. Their behavior was affecting not only the atmosphere on the bus, but the performances. They had not had such horrible performances since they became big. The fans were angry about shows and the vibe that the boys gave off. They all wanted to know why Brendon and Ryan weren’t playing around any more like the used to. The stayed away from each other and Brendon wasn’t that effervescent performer that he used to be. Spencer had enough of this bullshit and was going to do something about it for better or for worse.
"Ryan get your ass out of that bunk right now. Brendon, turn off that damn tv right now. Both of you get in here right now," Spencer screamed at the two, which startled Jon in the process since he never heard Spence be so angry.
I stuck my head out of the curtain "Spence, I don’t feel good. Can’t this wait?"
"No it can’t wait anymore. You haven’t felt good in three weeks which seems strangely to go with the last time you talked to Brendon. I’m tired of the bullshit. Get your fucking ass over here. Brendon, get your fucking ass over here right now too."
"Fine Spencer, I’ll be there in a minute," I sighed and brought my head back in the curtain to turn off and put away the ipod.
Brendon left the back of the bus and wistfully looked at Ryan’s bunk as he walked by(as he usually did) to go to the kitchen area where Spencer and Jon were sitting.
"What Spencer?"
"Sit down. I will begin when Ryan joins us."
Brendon looks at the remaining chairs. The two that are left are next to each other. Ryan is not going to like sitting next to him, so he decides to sit on the floor.
"Brendon, sit at the fucking table already. I’m not going to be talking to the floor." I slowly come out of the bunk and watch as Brendon sits on the floor and get yelled at for it. I walk over to them and sit in the chair next to Spencer. Since Spencer is going to be an ass and make me talk to Brendon, I still want to be sitting next to my best friend, even if he is livid. I notice Brendon takes the other chair after arguing with Spencer.
Spencer looks at the two pouting in their respective chairs looking at anything and everything but each other. He then turns to Jon who is nodding his head at Spencer as the two of them had already planned this intervention and decided that Spencer should do the talking as he knew them before "Ryden" existed.
"Alright. Jon and I have called this little meeting because we are tired of you two and your bullshit. You have not talked to each other in three weeks and its affecting the band. Have you two looked at our performances? We suck. Actually, you two suck which makes us all suck cause, lets be honest, you two are what most of the fans come to see. We’ve figured out that you two broke up and from the behavior displayed, We think that Brendon did something to cause the breakup."
"We didn’t break up, we are taking a break to think about things." Brendon is quick to respond with irritation in his voice.
"No, we broke up Brendon," I turned to face him. "You can stop lying to yourself because we are done and I have no idea why you would think otherwise. Spence, are we done now that you got the confession that you already knew?"
"We aren’t done because that confession is not going to make you two stop ignoring each other and playing like crap. And that is what this meeting is about. I don’t care that you two stopped…whatever. You two promised that this wouldn’t become an issue if you ever broke up.
"Well, Spence I never could have dreamed that it would have gotten this fucked up. And I don’t want to talk about it, but yes Brendon did some shit that I never thought he would do. So I’m sorry, even though I’m not the only one that should be. Spence, Jon, I’ll work on focusing more for the last three shows and watch my cues because I know I’ve really been missing them. I know the shows reflect on you as well and you are right I did say that. Is there anything else? I really need to go lay down."
"No, Ryan. That’s all for now. Thanks for talking to us and apologizing." Jon quickly spoke before Spencer went off again. Spencer did look over at Jon and roll his eyes. I got up and walked away, appearing that I went back to the bunk area, but really I was just out of sight as I wanted to know what they said to Brendon. However, I almost got caught as Brendon tried to escape the wrath of Spence and Jon.
"Where do you think you are going Brendon?" Spencer asked.
"Ryan got to leave why can’t I?"
"Ryan talked, you didn’t. You are stuck."
"There’s nothing else to say. I’m not telling you what happened. It is none of your buisness. It’s between me and Ryan. I’m sorry that I’ve been sucking at shows too. What else do you want with me?" Brendon said with irration in his voice.
"We wanted the apology for sucking."
"Oh. Okay."
I quickly ducked into my bunk as I figured someone would be coming through. I figured it was time to talk to Spencer about what really happened between me and Brendon, but I had to wait until we were alone. Jon would find out eventually, but right now I just needed to talk to my best friend. I was greatful that the bus stopped right away to get gas. I could hear Jon and Brendon scrambling off the bus for some snacks and took that as my opportunity to confide in my oldest and dearest friend.
"Spence, can we talk?" I knocked softly at his best friend’s bunk.
"What do you want Ryan?" Spencer sounded exhausted.
"I want to talk to you. I want to talk to you about some stuff."
"Fine. Come in here."
Spencer moved over so I would have room to slide in next to him.
"Brendon cheated on me Spence," I said in such a soft voice that Spencer almost missed it.
"oh Ry why didn’t you come talk to-"
"no Spence there’s more. He he he…" I started crying again. Damn it, Brendon’s not worth it..
"Ry tell me what happened"
"he he pushed me and then hhhit me."
"HE WHAT?!" Spencer screamed and sat upright hitting his head on the ceiling above him, "SHIT that hurt. What the fuck Ryan? Why didn’t you tell me this? I’m your best friend and have always been there for you for everything. Especially this kind of stuff with your dad hitting you. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I’m going to beat the shit out of him. Move over I need to get out of this bunk and beat him." Spencer tried to push me out of the way and get out of the bunk.
"SPENCER, no don’t beat him up. Besides he left with Jon before I came to talk to you."
"Fine, I’ll beat his ass when they come back. Why didn’t you tell me this Ryan? When did it happen? What happened? I want to know everything. Did he hurt you?" Spence asked with concern.
"No, Spencer I don’t want you to beat him up at all. I didn’t tell you because I knew this is how you were going to act and I wanted to get through the rest of the tour with everyone in one piece," I still had the tears running down his cheeks but my voice was stronger now. "It happened about three weeks ago at that party Pete had at that hotel. We went to the party. We didn’t stay long because we were excited to have a room to to..to do stuff with out worrying about you and Jon. So we messed around and then I went to sleep. I guess Brendon couldn’t sleep and went back to the party. He got drunk and fucked some girl at the party. When he was done he came back to the room. I had woken up to go to the bathroom and noticed he was gone and he didn’t answer my call or message to his sidekick so I was concerned. I was writing in my notebook when he came back. He was really drunk and made no attempts to hide it. He was all over me as soon as he walked into the room. As he kissed me, I noticed that he smelled really girly, and before you say it, not girly like I smell. Someone else’s perfume. I asked him why he smelled like that. ‘Oh I just had sex with some girl at the party. Sorry.’ I was obviously pissed that he had just cheated on me and then came in here and attempted to make out with me. So I jumped off the bed and started packing up my stuff and told him that we were over because I was not going to accept that. He kept apologizing and kept calling me little pet names. I kept telling him to leave me alone and we were over. Because of the alcohol, he quickly turned angry since I wouldn’t let him make out with me. I had packed up my stuff and was looking around to see if I missed anything while continuing to tell him no. He apparently had enough and shoved me into the wall and then held me there by pushing against my shoulders. I hit my head and started yelling at me. He then slapped me across the face and told me that I should shut up and just kiss him and quit my baby bullshit. He closed his eyes and leaned in for the kiss as I punched him in the stomach. He let go of me and grabbed his stomach and started yelling. I just ran out of there and left my shit. I had a bump on my head from when I hit the wall and my cheek was red for a few hours but that went away."
"Oh my God Ryan. Come here," Spencer leans over and wraps his arms around me as he knows everything about me, the one that has been through way too much in his 21 years than one ever should. "I’m glad you told me, even though you should have three weeks ago. I’m so sorry he’s an asshole. You really deserve better. I thought Brendon was better than that. He knows you and your past. I do not know what possessed him to do this. I’m so sorry I didn’t go to the party. But if you were hurt, you should have told someone. Why didn’t you call me? I would have come right away. A bump on the head could have been serious. You could have had a concussion."
"I did tell someone. I told Pete and he watched me."
"WHAT? You told Pete but you wouldn’t tell me? What the fuck Ryan? I thought I was your best friend." Spencer let go of me and sat back.
"You are my best friend Spence."
"Then why the fuck did Pete Wentz know, but not your best friend?"
"He was there Spence. I ran back to the party in tears to get away from Brendon. He saw me right as I walked in and asked what happened. I couldn’t even talk, I just pointed to the growing bump and he grabbed some ice and brought me to the room that was his for sleeping after the party. I cried for awhile and then after I calmed down some he asked what happened. So I told him and then he wanted go beat Brendon up like you did. I told him no because it would just make things worse. He eventually saw things my way. He went to get my stuff and I stayed in his room. Pete said that Brendon had passed out on the floor so it wasn’t a problem getting my stuff. I didn’t have a concussion, but Pete watched me for what was left of the night after I cried myself to sleep. Morning came and I put my hat over the bump so you didn’t see it and got on the bus. And that was it. I was to hurt to talk about it and I didn’t want to think about it. He was knew because I had to somewhere and he was there. I didn’t pick him over you. I love you Spence. You are my best friend forever."
"No, I’m apparently not. You could have called me, but you didn’t. You ran to Pete fucking Wentz instead. You chose him. After all we’ve been through. After all the times I was there for you when your dad beat the shit out of you physically and emotionally. I was there through everything Ryan. Pete Wentz doesn’t know you like I do. Fuck Ryan. This really hurts me. I know you were hurting. But this wasn’t a little lovers spat. He cheated on you, pushed you, and FUCKING HIT YOU. AND YOU DON’T TELL ME!." Spencer wiped away the single tear that ran down his left cheek. "You keep pushing me away Ryan, and running to Pete or to someone else. We are drifting apart and I don’t like this new Ryan that you’ve turned into. I expected better from you. For all the times you’ve been hurt by people, I never thought you would do it to someone else, especially me, after all I’ve done for you. Betrayal comes in many forms. Now please leave me alone."
I look at Spence with shock. I never thought that Spence would get so mad and jealous about telling Pete. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but apparently Spence did.
"I’m so sorry Spence. I didn’t realize I was pushing you away," I crawled out of Spencer’s bunk and went to my own. I began to cry myself to sleep like I did every night. This time it was because a hole in my heart appeared as I just hurt the one person that was my family, my world, my everything, for the past 16 years of my life.
Author: damnpetewentz
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon in this chapter, others to come
POV: Ryan,1st person.
Summary: Ryan's life experiences and events. Ryan has many ups and downs and problems with friends and relationships. Eventually, he will have to choose between two people: the one that he is in love with and has hurt him in the past or the one he loves, hurt, and owes his life to. In this chapter, why Ryan's mad and why Spence and Ryan are fighting.
Authors Notes: Flashback, so i put it in italics. First paragraph is just for set ting up as it is a flashback, and yes is not in first person. PLEASE READ AND GIVE ME CONCRIT!!!! Only 3 people commented on the last chapter and I can't get better if you don't tell me!
Three days till the end of the tour
It was after the show. The boys all climbed back on the bus. Ryan went straight to his bunk and closed the curtain, just like he did every night for the past three weeks. Brendon just stared as he did this and then walked to the back of the bus where he turned on the tv and would stare at it until Spencer or Jon made him change it. There was no more laughing. There were no more fun times and great stories. There was Spencer and Jon trying not go insane with the doldrums spirits that had inhabited their best friends and bandmates. Spencer and Jon had each tried to talk to the other two on several occasions. Their behavior was affecting not only the atmosphere on the bus, but the performances. They had not had such horrible performances since they became big. The fans were angry about shows and the vibe that the boys gave off. They all wanted to know why Brendon and Ryan weren’t playing around any more like the used to. The stayed away from each other and Brendon wasn’t that effervescent performer that he used to be. Spencer had enough of this bullshit and was going to do something about it for better or for worse.
"Ryan get your ass out of that bunk right now. Brendon, turn off that damn tv right now. Both of you get in here right now," Spencer screamed at the two, which startled Jon in the process since he never heard Spence be so angry.
I stuck my head out of the curtain "Spence, I don’t feel good. Can’t this wait?"
"No it can’t wait anymore. You haven’t felt good in three weeks which seems strangely to go with the last time you talked to Brendon. I’m tired of the bullshit. Get your fucking ass over here. Brendon, get your fucking ass over here right now too."
"Fine Spencer, I’ll be there in a minute," I sighed and brought my head back in the curtain to turn off and put away the ipod.
Brendon left the back of the bus and wistfully looked at Ryan’s bunk as he walked by(as he usually did) to go to the kitchen area where Spencer and Jon were sitting.
"What Spencer?"
"Sit down. I will begin when Ryan joins us."
Brendon looks at the remaining chairs. The two that are left are next to each other. Ryan is not going to like sitting next to him, so he decides to sit on the floor.
"Brendon, sit at the fucking table already. I’m not going to be talking to the floor." I slowly come out of the bunk and watch as Brendon sits on the floor and get yelled at for it. I walk over to them and sit in the chair next to Spencer. Since Spencer is going to be an ass and make me talk to Brendon, I still want to be sitting next to my best friend, even if he is livid. I notice Brendon takes the other chair after arguing with Spencer.
Spencer looks at the two pouting in their respective chairs looking at anything and everything but each other. He then turns to Jon who is nodding his head at Spencer as the two of them had already planned this intervention and decided that Spencer should do the talking as he knew them before "Ryden" existed.
"Alright. Jon and I have called this little meeting because we are tired of you two and your bullshit. You have not talked to each other in three weeks and its affecting the band. Have you two looked at our performances? We suck. Actually, you two suck which makes us all suck cause, lets be honest, you two are what most of the fans come to see. We’ve figured out that you two broke up and from the behavior displayed, We think that Brendon did something to cause the breakup."
"We didn’t break up, we are taking a break to think about things." Brendon is quick to respond with irritation in his voice.
"No, we broke up Brendon," I turned to face him. "You can stop lying to yourself because we are done and I have no idea why you would think otherwise. Spence, are we done now that you got the confession that you already knew?"
"We aren’t done because that confession is not going to make you two stop ignoring each other and playing like crap. And that is what this meeting is about. I don’t care that you two stopped…whatever. You two promised that this wouldn’t become an issue if you ever broke up.
"Well, Spence I never could have dreamed that it would have gotten this fucked up. And I don’t want to talk about it, but yes Brendon did some shit that I never thought he would do. So I’m sorry, even though I’m not the only one that should be. Spence, Jon, I’ll work on focusing more for the last three shows and watch my cues because I know I’ve really been missing them. I know the shows reflect on you as well and you are right I did say that. Is there anything else? I really need to go lay down."
"No, Ryan. That’s all for now. Thanks for talking to us and apologizing." Jon quickly spoke before Spencer went off again. Spencer did look over at Jon and roll his eyes. I got up and walked away, appearing that I went back to the bunk area, but really I was just out of sight as I wanted to know what they said to Brendon. However, I almost got caught as Brendon tried to escape the wrath of Spence and Jon.
"Where do you think you are going Brendon?" Spencer asked.
"Ryan got to leave why can’t I?"
"Ryan talked, you didn’t. You are stuck."
"There’s nothing else to say. I’m not telling you what happened. It is none of your buisness. It’s between me and Ryan. I’m sorry that I’ve been sucking at shows too. What else do you want with me?" Brendon said with irration in his voice.
"We wanted the apology for sucking."
"Oh. Okay."
I quickly ducked into my bunk as I figured someone would be coming through. I figured it was time to talk to Spencer about what really happened between me and Brendon, but I had to wait until we were alone. Jon would find out eventually, but right now I just needed to talk to my best friend. I was greatful that the bus stopped right away to get gas. I could hear Jon and Brendon scrambling off the bus for some snacks and took that as my opportunity to confide in my oldest and dearest friend.
"Spence, can we talk?" I knocked softly at his best friend’s bunk.
"What do you want Ryan?" Spencer sounded exhausted.
"I want to talk to you. I want to talk to you about some stuff."
"Fine. Come in here."
Spencer moved over so I would have room to slide in next to him.
"Brendon cheated on me Spence," I said in such a soft voice that Spencer almost missed it.
"oh Ry why didn’t you come talk to-"
"no Spence there’s more. He he he…" I started crying again. Damn it, Brendon’s not worth it..
"Ry tell me what happened"
"he he pushed me and then hhhit me."
"HE WHAT?!" Spencer screamed and sat upright hitting his head on the ceiling above him, "SHIT that hurt. What the fuck Ryan? Why didn’t you tell me this? I’m your best friend and have always been there for you for everything. Especially this kind of stuff with your dad hitting you. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I’m going to beat the shit out of him. Move over I need to get out of this bunk and beat him." Spencer tried to push me out of the way and get out of the bunk.
"SPENCER, no don’t beat him up. Besides he left with Jon before I came to talk to you."
"Fine, I’ll beat his ass when they come back. Why didn’t you tell me this Ryan? When did it happen? What happened? I want to know everything. Did he hurt you?" Spence asked with concern.
"No, Spencer I don’t want you to beat him up at all. I didn’t tell you because I knew this is how you were going to act and I wanted to get through the rest of the tour with everyone in one piece," I still had the tears running down his cheeks but my voice was stronger now. "It happened about three weeks ago at that party Pete had at that hotel. We went to the party. We didn’t stay long because we were excited to have a room to to..to do stuff with out worrying about you and Jon. So we messed around and then I went to sleep. I guess Brendon couldn’t sleep and went back to the party. He got drunk and fucked some girl at the party. When he was done he came back to the room. I had woken up to go to the bathroom and noticed he was gone and he didn’t answer my call or message to his sidekick so I was concerned. I was writing in my notebook when he came back. He was really drunk and made no attempts to hide it. He was all over me as soon as he walked into the room. As he kissed me, I noticed that he smelled really girly, and before you say it, not girly like I smell. Someone else’s perfume. I asked him why he smelled like that. ‘Oh I just had sex with some girl at the party. Sorry.’ I was obviously pissed that he had just cheated on me and then came in here and attempted to make out with me. So I jumped off the bed and started packing up my stuff and told him that we were over because I was not going to accept that. He kept apologizing and kept calling me little pet names. I kept telling him to leave me alone and we were over. Because of the alcohol, he quickly turned angry since I wouldn’t let him make out with me. I had packed up my stuff and was looking around to see if I missed anything while continuing to tell him no. He apparently had enough and shoved me into the wall and then held me there by pushing against my shoulders. I hit my head and started yelling at me. He then slapped me across the face and told me that I should shut up and just kiss him and quit my baby bullshit. He closed his eyes and leaned in for the kiss as I punched him in the stomach. He let go of me and grabbed his stomach and started yelling. I just ran out of there and left my shit. I had a bump on my head from when I hit the wall and my cheek was red for a few hours but that went away."
"Oh my God Ryan. Come here," Spencer leans over and wraps his arms around me as he knows everything about me, the one that has been through way too much in his 21 years than one ever should. "I’m glad you told me, even though you should have three weeks ago. I’m so sorry he’s an asshole. You really deserve better. I thought Brendon was better than that. He knows you and your past. I do not know what possessed him to do this. I’m so sorry I didn’t go to the party. But if you were hurt, you should have told someone. Why didn’t you call me? I would have come right away. A bump on the head could have been serious. You could have had a concussion."
"I did tell someone. I told Pete and he watched me."
"WHAT? You told Pete but you wouldn’t tell me? What the fuck Ryan? I thought I was your best friend." Spencer let go of me and sat back.
"You are my best friend Spence."
"Then why the fuck did Pete Wentz know, but not your best friend?"
"He was there Spence. I ran back to the party in tears to get away from Brendon. He saw me right as I walked in and asked what happened. I couldn’t even talk, I just pointed to the growing bump and he grabbed some ice and brought me to the room that was his for sleeping after the party. I cried for awhile and then after I calmed down some he asked what happened. So I told him and then he wanted go beat Brendon up like you did. I told him no because it would just make things worse. He eventually saw things my way. He went to get my stuff and I stayed in his room. Pete said that Brendon had passed out on the floor so it wasn’t a problem getting my stuff. I didn’t have a concussion, but Pete watched me for what was left of the night after I cried myself to sleep. Morning came and I put my hat over the bump so you didn’t see it and got on the bus. And that was it. I was to hurt to talk about it and I didn’t want to think about it. He was knew because I had to somewhere and he was there. I didn’t pick him over you. I love you Spence. You are my best friend forever."
"No, I’m apparently not. You could have called me, but you didn’t. You ran to Pete fucking Wentz instead. You chose him. After all we’ve been through. After all the times I was there for you when your dad beat the shit out of you physically and emotionally. I was there through everything Ryan. Pete Wentz doesn’t know you like I do. Fuck Ryan. This really hurts me. I know you were hurting. But this wasn’t a little lovers spat. He cheated on you, pushed you, and FUCKING HIT YOU. AND YOU DON’T TELL ME!." Spencer wiped away the single tear that ran down his left cheek. "You keep pushing me away Ryan, and running to Pete or to someone else. We are drifting apart and I don’t like this new Ryan that you’ve turned into. I expected better from you. For all the times you’ve been hurt by people, I never thought you would do it to someone else, especially me, after all I’ve done for you. Betrayal comes in many forms. Now please leave me alone."
I look at Spence with shock. I never thought that Spence would get so mad and jealous about telling Pete. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but apparently Spence did.
"I’m so sorry Spence. I didn’t realize I was pushing you away," I crawled out of Spencer’s bunk and went to my own. I began to cry myself to sleep like I did every night. This time it was because a hole in my heart appeared as I just hurt the one person that was my family, my world, my everything, for the past 16 years of my life.