(no subject)
Some days, I wonder why I do the things I do. Really. I mean, what makes me tick like this? Why do I need to get by in the fashion that I do?
It's a whole lot of shit. I suppose making progress would be easier if I could find a way to understand myself, wouldn't it?
In summation (using summation at this point is borderline retarded, given the fact I've typed all of six sentences, but I mean, fuck it), I don't even know what to make of myself. What's throwing me off lately is that my dreams have been getting increasingly realistic lately, in terms of feeling and awareness. Like, very real and very weird. There was the dream about floating down the river in peace, which was a positive notion. Then I've got fucked up Skyrim-induced dreams that apparently like to combine with Metroid where I'm trying to fight some fucked-up looking thing (called a Maneater, which I don't know why I know) while I'm robbing a vault with two other characters I don't recognize. And then I'm also having passive dreams that don't hold much significance save for the fact that I'm still able to remember the most acute details. And I don't even know how to explain some of these dreams without sounding like a complete lunatic. I mean, "memories" from Thai food parties to dropped phone calls on busy streets in downtown Seattle to uncomfortable interactions with family members.
I know dreams don't always mean shit. It's just hard not to wonder what's going on in my mind sometimes with the things that run through my head when I'm unconscious.
Dreams aside, I need to start putting more consideration into what I say to people. Sometimes I'm too candid. That would be okay if I was some sort of comedian, but shit! I'm not! So maybe I should pay more mind to what I say.
It's a whole lot of shit. I suppose making progress would be easier if I could find a way to understand myself, wouldn't it?
In summation (using summation at this point is borderline retarded, given the fact I've typed all of six sentences, but I mean, fuck it), I don't even know what to make of myself. What's throwing me off lately is that my dreams have been getting increasingly realistic lately, in terms of feeling and awareness. Like, very real and very weird. There was the dream about floating down the river in peace, which was a positive notion. Then I've got fucked up Skyrim-induced dreams that apparently like to combine with Metroid where I'm trying to fight some fucked-up looking thing (called a Maneater, which I don't know why I know) while I'm robbing a vault with two other characters I don't recognize. And then I'm also having passive dreams that don't hold much significance save for the fact that I'm still able to remember the most acute details. And I don't even know how to explain some of these dreams without sounding like a complete lunatic. I mean, "memories" from Thai food parties to dropped phone calls on busy streets in downtown Seattle to uncomfortable interactions with family members.
I know dreams don't always mean shit. It's just hard not to wonder what's going on in my mind sometimes with the things that run through my head when I'm unconscious.
Dreams aside, I need to start putting more consideration into what I say to people. Sometimes I'm too candid. That would be okay if I was some sort of comedian, but shit! I'm not! So maybe I should pay more mind to what I say.