(no subject)
it´s getting dark... too soon... a threatening silence...
surrounding me... a wind... comes up from the islands...
when distance fades to stormy grey
washed out from the deep of the ocean
here i will stand to face your wrath...
while all the others are praying
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now i´m not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son...
torn into the deep of the ocean
i don´t pretend that i love you
´cause there is nothing left to lose
and when silence comes back to me
i find myself feeling lonely
standing here on the shores of destiny
i find myself feeling lonely
i had a life to give... many dreams to live...
don´t you know that you´re losing so much this time
beyond the waves... i will be free
while all the others are praying
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now i´m not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son...
torn into the deep of the ocean
i don´t pretend that i love you
´cause there is nothing left to lose
the love in you, it does not burn,
there is no lesson you can learn
and there are sounds you cannot hear,
and there are feelings you can´t feel
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
i don´t pretend that i love you
and this time i´m not scared of you
i dont know if ive posted that song before or not, but its the song for today. incase you wanted to know its "once in a lifetime" by Wolfsheim. im discovering there are things that go on in your head that you just cant share with anyone else. it doesnt matter how close you are with the person, things will get taken the wrong way, or just completely misunderstood, and even if ithas nothing todo with them they will feel some sort of moral obligation to "fix" it. not that this has happened but i know it will if i were to spill my guts to someone right now. now, before anyone responds, no i havent done anything bad, no im not going to. im jsut in a very confused place and my conceptions of the world are sorta completely changing. things i took for granted being static and unchangable are suddenly showing me they are anything but. im dealing with everything, but i get the feeling im doing stop gap measures, even so im not sure that confronting any of this would make it better anyways, it might just makethings worse than if i were to ignore it and let things calm down inside me. its like i jsut have this surplus of emotion and i dont know what to do with it, good and bad. soemtimes i feel like im going to explode form all this and then like the next day or five minutes later, im at peace with it all. and while yeah, most of the emotional rollercoasterness is on me, its also very reliant on outside influences, and i dont know if it would be better to cut those off completely and suffer the hurt i would feel or to let things ride and find a balance in myself. and i dont have the number of the one person i might be able to share any of this crap with, even if i did though, i prolly wouldnt call..... im afraid im being a hypocrite and that whats going on isnt real but yet another thing im twisting to make fit in my perceptions. i jsut dont know, and thats killing me more than anything else.
surrounding me... a wind... comes up from the islands...
when distance fades to stormy grey
washed out from the deep of the ocean
here i will stand to face your wrath...
while all the others are praying
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now i´m not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son...
torn into the deep of the ocean
i don´t pretend that i love you
´cause there is nothing left to lose
and when silence comes back to me
i find myself feeling lonely
standing here on the shores of destiny
i find myself feeling lonely
i had a life to give... many dreams to live...
don´t you know that you´re losing so much this time
beyond the waves... i will be free
while all the others are praying
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now i´m not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son...
torn into the deep of the ocean
i don´t pretend that i love you
´cause there is nothing left to lose
the love in you, it does not burn,
there is no lesson you can learn
and there are sounds you cannot hear,
and there are feelings you can´t feel
calm down my heart... don´t beat so fast...
don´t be afraid just once in a lifetime
i don´t pretend that i love you
and this time i´m not scared of you
i dont know if ive posted that song before or not, but its the song for today. incase you wanted to know its "once in a lifetime" by Wolfsheim. im discovering there are things that go on in your head that you just cant share with anyone else. it doesnt matter how close you are with the person, things will get taken the wrong way, or just completely misunderstood, and even if ithas nothing todo with them they will feel some sort of moral obligation to "fix" it. not that this has happened but i know it will if i were to spill my guts to someone right now. now, before anyone responds, no i havent done anything bad, no im not going to. im jsut in a very confused place and my conceptions of the world are sorta completely changing. things i took for granted being static and unchangable are suddenly showing me they are anything but. im dealing with everything, but i get the feeling im doing stop gap measures, even so im not sure that confronting any of this would make it better anyways, it might just makethings worse than if i were to ignore it and let things calm down inside me. its like i jsut have this surplus of emotion and i dont know what to do with it, good and bad. soemtimes i feel like im going to explode form all this and then like the next day or five minutes later, im at peace with it all. and while yeah, most of the emotional rollercoasterness is on me, its also very reliant on outside influences, and i dont know if it would be better to cut those off completely and suffer the hurt i would feel or to let things ride and find a balance in myself. and i dont have the number of the one person i might be able to share any of this crap with, even if i did though, i prolly wouldnt call..... im afraid im being a hypocrite and that whats going on isnt real but yet another thing im twisting to make fit in my perceptions. i jsut dont know, and thats killing me more than anything else.