Mother's Day Humor
so mothers day was fun, despite some bad news, we made the best of it, Jenn's mom was out of town so she came with us, I said, "mom I invited Jenn, is that ok?" "well of course, she is like my daughter, is bringing a present?" then she just laughed, she was of course kidding.
the starts off with a phone call from my brother
Tori groggly answers the phone "hi andy"
Andy :"hello sister, WAKE UP!!! its mothers day, and dammit you need to be awake, where is mom, is she up?'
Tori"I dont know..."
Andy "ok now, today we are having F U N! ok? so none of that little mom daughter angst bullshit, if she pisses you off, and she will, just bite your tongue, remember its mom day! I know how you like to argue, you have to be nice for one day, do whatever you want tomorrow."
Tori "Ha ha, yeah I know"
Andy"ok now, get mom up and ready, you know how she likes to take a long time, you guys have an hour get going!"
he then called my mom and told her, "ok, I got tori going, you may want to check on her she loves to fall back asleep!"
then after we got jenn throughly lost, we convined at andy's to decide on what movie we would see and to kill time before the movie we played simpsons clue, by the way, we learned that NONE of us EVER played clue right! halfway through the game, my mom realized that she was crossing off EVERYTHING we said....lmao
and everytime I made a wrong suggestion, my brother would go "yeah way to go there CSI!"
after Andy explained the rules for simpsons clue for a half an hour
Andy: "Come on ladies, we're not shooting off rockets here, we're playing simpsons clue!"
Andy: "....ok, those are the rules..."
Tori: "ummm, what, I totally zoned"
Andy:"DAMMIT TORI! come on college girl, you can play clue"
Mom:"well remember, she does have ADHD"
Tori: *frowns*
Andy: "awe come on we all have a little ADD"
Jenn: "yeah, but she has ALOT of ADD"
Andy: "yes Jenn, this is true, the force is strong with that one"
During the game my mom kept asking andy for the same weapon....3 turns in a row....
andy: "MOM, I HAVE THE SLINGSHOT!!!! EVERYONE, I HAVE THE SLINGSHOT, its not the murder weapon!"
he then sat for the rest of the game with the slingshot card on his head.
Jenn was sitting in andy's big comfy recliner that has a massager and heat...
Jenn:"oh my god, I love this chair"
mom: "yeah jenn, thats MY favorite chair!"
Andy: "whoa jenn, uh, thats momspeak for 'get out of my fucking chair!' "
Everytime we go to a movie, as early as I could remember, my mother will get the biggest popcorn, and refuse to share with anyone.
Andy bought mom a HUGE popcorn, jenn got me a small and she had a pretzel...and andy had 2 hot dogs...
he was holding her popcorn as she got situated, and then the movie started, he kept eating it, but he had it close so mom could reach it....
then mom announces "OK, I am ready for my popcorn now!"
I burst out laughing spraying popcorn on the row in front of us, Andy took my small bag of popcorn, and whispered "mom doesn't like to share" to which mom replied very loudly,,, "but you had hot dogs!"
after the movie we came back and had dinner, they sent jenn and I on a propane run for the grill, that was an adventure at wal-mart...dont worry there are photos! lmao
before we ate the three of them decided to pick on me for my past dating choices, that was fun for all for a whole hour!
afterwards, mom and I went to wal-mart, where she flirted with the door greeter. we picked up beer and barcardi raz and played Rummy 500 and got drunk...it was fun, until at 3 am she talked me into taking two classes this summer, one online and the other is half online half in class at Palm Bay....grrrr
hope everyone had a great mothers day, I had fun....
I will blog on the bad news later