Smile.
Oh Jr. Prom.
What a faint memory you are now.
I just found that on Durfee's website. Look how fucking happy I was. I don't even remember them taking that picture. Jr. prom was incredible, one of the best nights I've ever had. Even though every time I think about it I have to think about who I went with, but I've turned him into a blur and focus on what really mattered that night.
I'm so happy now, but it's such a different happiness. I can't be all excited for a prom or anything anymore because I quit. I have no reasons to dress up, no reasons to take professional pictures, no reasons to sweat the night before. The next time I'll have that is my wedding.
It scares me, but the decision I made to quit school was one of the most adult things I've had to decide thus far and in a way, it was one of the worst things I could have done, but I know it's for the best and getting my GED will be a new experience. I can't wait. I feel like my whole life is on hold right now because of it, but there's a damn year waiting list. Fucking bullshit.
But I ran across that picture and it stopped me short. That's a GENUINE smile. I NEVER smile in pictures. EVER. I've got very few pictures of me smiling like that in my myspace photo album, and if I do, I'm usually right beside John. I threw away all my cares that night, and had a fucking BALL. My dress was beautiful, hell, I looked fucking awesome and I'll be the first to say it.
Shortly thereafter, my life went to shit, and I ran away. Ran to Colorado. Never intended on coming back. Sometimes I still wonder why I did. But I'm SO happy I did, too.
I just figured I'd share that here, I don't know why, I just felt like I should.
Hm.
(And if anyone wants me to put this shit behind a cut, I suppose I will.)