l o v e
when i was a wide-eyed scrawny teenage boy, the concept of love seem so beautiful.
the romance and candle lights, the night stars and moon gazing, the beach strolls and street walks. i always have an image of nightly street lights illuminating the metropolis as i hold hands with my love one in nonchalance ambling down the beautiful town of paris amidst all the foreign chatters.
we hold our hands tightly and grow old together as the world flew pass us. 2 simple beings that love each other, that is all that is asked of them.
i dare myself to dream that the joy of love is not elusive and is indeed as simple as my image.
as i grown older and learn more, discoveries after discoveries shattered my naive perfect image of what love is. love is so much more than that, and so much lesser than that.
when i first talked to gay guys online, the ropes that i picked and studied were shocking to me. the intimate act of making love were being paraded as offers to a the possibility of future love. and one needs to continuously provide the offer until a match is made. at first, i refuse to accept the bare reality of the culture that i have to live in. the concept seem alien and frightening to me. I am a private person and I am more than my offers. but the world do not function the way i wanted.
and thus i grew to accept and go with the flow. i have learn to turn a blind eye on my ideal romantic dreams and live in the complicated modern reality. i have given plenty love and lost some. but i have never regret giving them for i believe love is unlimited.
though i have to wonder why love has given me more pain than joy.
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on that note, the passing of my family pet L was so unexpected, i did not know what to make of it. i have loved L as much as i could in the little time i had share with him and every moment was filled with joy and affection. i can only hope he is now in a better place, for bringing much needed happiness into my family.
dear L
although i did not watch you grow as I only see u once every 2 months, i will always remember you. your fluffy loopy ear, your insatiable energy for all fun and games, your constant shower of doggy love in forms of licks and nips. I am sad for i couldn't love you as much as i could, but i hope my family has treated you well and now you shall be on your way to another realm of life. thank you for stopping by our home, thank you for prancing around joyously every time you see me return home, and most importantly thank you for loving us.
the romance and candle lights, the night stars and moon gazing, the beach strolls and street walks. i always have an image of nightly street lights illuminating the metropolis as i hold hands with my love one in nonchalance ambling down the beautiful town of paris amidst all the foreign chatters.
we hold our hands tightly and grow old together as the world flew pass us. 2 simple beings that love each other, that is all that is asked of them.
i dare myself to dream that the joy of love is not elusive and is indeed as simple as my image.
as i grown older and learn more, discoveries after discoveries shattered my naive perfect image of what love is. love is so much more than that, and so much lesser than that.
when i first talked to gay guys online, the ropes that i picked and studied were shocking to me. the intimate act of making love were being paraded as offers to a the possibility of future love. and one needs to continuously provide the offer until a match is made. at first, i refuse to accept the bare reality of the culture that i have to live in. the concept seem alien and frightening to me. I am a private person and I am more than my offers. but the world do not function the way i wanted.
and thus i grew to accept and go with the flow. i have learn to turn a blind eye on my ideal romantic dreams and live in the complicated modern reality. i have given plenty love and lost some. but i have never regret giving them for i believe love is unlimited.
though i have to wonder why love has given me more pain than joy.
-------
on that note, the passing of my family pet L was so unexpected, i did not know what to make of it. i have loved L as much as i could in the little time i had share with him and every moment was filled with joy and affection. i can only hope he is now in a better place, for bringing much needed happiness into my family.
dear L
although i did not watch you grow as I only see u once every 2 months, i will always remember you. your fluffy loopy ear, your insatiable energy for all fun and games, your constant shower of doggy love in forms of licks and nips. I am sad for i couldn't love you as much as i could, but i hope my family has treated you well and now you shall be on your way to another realm of life. thank you for stopping by our home, thank you for prancing around joyously every time you see me return home, and most importantly thank you for loving us.