the emerald colouring of ambigious thoughts
part 1
its been a while since i've written about my ongoings on my life. as much as it seems pointless now, rereading my old blogs have revealed much nostalgic memories that were kept in the dusty corner of my memories. memories from my college days, my new college friends, how i was still groping around a new world, fresh out of secondary school.
but now another chapter has commence. i'm in singapore now. working for an animation company who is well-known for its extreme working hours and the crazy animation quota each animator has to churn out per week. of course, name would not be written here for legal purposes. so what brought me here? it's not far from malaysia, but it will do for now. a stepping stone, perhaps. but only time and effort will tell. so for the sake of my memories when i grow old and moldy, here is the story of my journey here.
the stagnation of my working life in malaysia left me pretty stale and sombre. there is no improvement in my career path, financial situation, much less in my love life. is it my fault? partially. a combination of idleness and flurry of robotic all-cg-essential maker made life in my prior company seem rather pointless. where do i go from here? what is it that i'm seeking for? my procrastination and fascination for medias didn't help. i spent hours watching movies with friends, shows, tv, listening to music and of course, the all mighty great internet and its minions of lifelessness.
as i was planning for a proper departure into another company building my demoreels and my portfolio with a tinge of hope, an incident struck me barehanded. i was unprepared. it was foretold to me, during early of 2007. that this year was going to be a dangerous year, by a spiritualist. it wasn't foretold what. in the beginning the warning stuck with me, but as year end approaches, i grew less wary and eventually forgot the warning. i returned to the embrace of my easy, unassuming lifestyle.
my comfortable idle life had made it easy for them. i was an easy target. unaware, happy, comfortable and cheerful.
i was smiling as i walk down the path of unfortunate. then they came for me.
a youth, probably younger a year or 2 compare to me, approach me and place his arm on my shoulder casually.
"Hey bro, can i have a buck?" he ask in malay.
it was strange. i don't remember feeling any danger. i was happy i remembered. i just return from a annual rotaract dinner, and before that a food distribution charity work. what could go wrong really?
With his arm tightly on my shoulder I couldnt say no. So I gave him the money. Then i noted five or six beings behind him in the shadow. youth, probably same age group, trailing us. suspicion exploded in me. The first youth ask for another dollar. I said no and struggled to get away from his arm. He gripped me harder, chocking my neck.
The streets were not empty. there were cars around, and its a popular pedestrian spot. unfortunately at that time I don't remember seeing anyone except for plenty of cars as they stop for a traffic light nearby.
it was a blur afterwards. i struggle to get away, panicked and flabbergasted. the youth that was griping my neck tightly said to his friend "hit his head hard, hit his head!"
and his friends started besieging me and blows flew onto my head, face, and body. the experience was quaint. i do not remember pain from the blows. my adrenaline probably shut them off. i remember the contact, but not the pain. there was a few on my forehead and my back side of my head. they keep coming, them blows. it was painless, but they keep coming. before i knew it, i was seeing black and the world collapsed.
it was pitch black.
I started hearing voices. I felt like i was dreaming. it was dark outside in the world, i remember smelling the night air. and then i awoke with a jolt.
there were 2 policemen beside me. i was lying on the ground beside a palm tree near the main streets. there were 2-3 pedestrians nearby, gasping. i was stunned. my eyes bulge to a size of golf ball. my head felt like a knife slicing through the brain. my gum felt sore and i could feel my tooth bleeding. one policeman spoke first "are you okay?" i nodded my head with difficulty.
a malay couple was beside me helping me up from the ground, the girl was frighten and was exclaiming "oh my god, poor thing". a chinese youth stood in front of me asking me am i okay, while extending his worries about how dangerous these streets are at night. despite all my injuries i was conscious and very much lucid albeit my heavy head. then the police said the robbers has ran off in motorbikes, they took all my belongings, my bag, my wallet, my watch. they ran off as fast as they could with motorbikes as the police approaches. the policeman spoke worriedly, i can sense their pity and worry, and the fear of what have become of our city?
before i got into the patrol car that was infront of us, i gave the 3 pedestrian a hug, muttering thanks for they provided comfort when i woke up after the beating.
my eyes was bleeding. i couldn't see with one eye. my glasses were all but broken. i couldn't see clearly. the policemen guided me to the car and drove me off.
in the car, i discovered my cellphone was still place snugly in my pocket. the robbers missed it. i was asked if i wanted to go to the clinic or the hospital, considering my eye were bleeding which requires immediate medical attention. i was unsure. and all i wanted to do now was talk to my family. so i called home. it was 11pm, saturday night.
my mom picked up the phone. after a few sentences retelling the incident, it was decided by my panicking parents that i should go to the hospital near our home where my insurance cover as well. the policemen had no idea where it is. they wanted to send me to government hospital much to my parents chagrin.
eventually i decided to guide them to the hospital despite my pulsating headache. after all this part of KL is my playground, a large portion of my youth was spent here, walking the streets, passing it in cars and buses. regardless of in my sore broken state, i knew the roads.
all this while my biggest fear was for my bleeding eye. is it pierced and broken? my career depends on my eye sight. it was scary. and i was slightly tearful towards the journey to the hospital. for my future and for my life. but the policemen told me not to cry and further damage my already bleeding eye. so i swallowed the self pity and my fear and try my best to direct them to the hospital.
my parents were there as we got to the hospital. my mom rushes me to the emergency ward as my dad stays to talk to the policemen about the incident.
i was guided onto a bed, where i see a bright light above me. it was painful. my eye couldnt decipher the lights. the world spins again. my mother held my hand tightly, and chanted a verse from the pali sutra, a buddhist prayer. her voice and the pali word somehow brought calmness to me as i stop shivering for once, from cold and pain.
my dad came later together with my sister and her boyfriend. their presence comfort me.
i was lucky. there were no blood clot in my brain. there were no real serious injuries. the blood running down from my eye turns out to be a cut on my eyelid, few milimetres away from my eyeball which requires fine stitches. my eye were swollen from all the blows. one of my front tooth shattered, but still remains intact. i found out later from the dentist that the root shattered as well, which causes extreme pain when i eat. i received a hairline fracture on my skull which causes one side of my facee to look squarish and asymmetrical. that prompted a 3 weeks rest from my doctor for fear of further damging the hairline fracture.
i stayed in hospital for 2 days. some of my closest friend came to visit, as well as family friends and relatives. as for many others i told them not to bother as i will be discharged soon.
my colleagues shared money bought my a portable nintendo DS as i have lost my much loved portable playstation. it was organized by paola, my best friend that i will never forget for the rest of my life. not because of the DS, mind you. my friends and colleagues came to my house to visit me during my house rest. i was touched by their care.
i never felt the incident was a bad thing. it has passed. and it has revealed plenty things to me. for one, i never really blame the robbers for what they have done to me. yes i felt the pain they inflicted, the unnecessary worry they inflicted on people arouund me, and many other things. they did it because they were greedy or they needed money. perhaps they didn't have proper parental guidance growing up. i am only thankful i escaped with few mishaps and difficulties. that my life was not lost, that i was looked after for right after the incident.
life has its up and down. i'm just glad my down didn't break my spirit.
the spiritualist was consulted again by a relative right after the incident. he said, due to my parents good merits in their extensive charity work almost on every sunday, i was spared from a horrible bad karma that was about to be bestowed to me. i was suppose to be blinded by the incident. instead i only receive a cut on my eyelid. and that karma has passed on. i was left in its wake, wounded but not broken. it might sound like a hogwash to you, but the spiritualist has no idea about my parents charity work as well as my injuries, and how easily i couldve been one eye blind.
after my 3 weeks rest i went back to work, never been so glad to step back into work. life resume its mundane flow as a result of working there, but i change. i continued preparing my reel during my free hours at work. but this time i no longer felt like i belong here. something has change. there was a growing desperation to get out of my mundane life. it was there all this while but the incident bolster it.
i felt like it's time to try something new. and i did.
continue in part 2
its been a while since i've written about my ongoings on my life. as much as it seems pointless now, rereading my old blogs have revealed much nostalgic memories that were kept in the dusty corner of my memories. memories from my college days, my new college friends, how i was still groping around a new world, fresh out of secondary school.
but now another chapter has commence. i'm in singapore now. working for an animation company who is well-known for its extreme working hours and the crazy animation quota each animator has to churn out per week. of course, name would not be written here for legal purposes. so what brought me here? it's not far from malaysia, but it will do for now. a stepping stone, perhaps. but only time and effort will tell. so for the sake of my memories when i grow old and moldy, here is the story of my journey here.
the stagnation of my working life in malaysia left me pretty stale and sombre. there is no improvement in my career path, financial situation, much less in my love life. is it my fault? partially. a combination of idleness and flurry of robotic all-cg-essential maker made life in my prior company seem rather pointless. where do i go from here? what is it that i'm seeking for? my procrastination and fascination for medias didn't help. i spent hours watching movies with friends, shows, tv, listening to music and of course, the all mighty great internet and its minions of lifelessness.
as i was planning for a proper departure into another company building my demoreels and my portfolio with a tinge of hope, an incident struck me barehanded. i was unprepared. it was foretold to me, during early of 2007. that this year was going to be a dangerous year, by a spiritualist. it wasn't foretold what. in the beginning the warning stuck with me, but as year end approaches, i grew less wary and eventually forgot the warning. i returned to the embrace of my easy, unassuming lifestyle.
my comfortable idle life had made it easy for them. i was an easy target. unaware, happy, comfortable and cheerful.
i was smiling as i walk down the path of unfortunate. then they came for me.
a youth, probably younger a year or 2 compare to me, approach me and place his arm on my shoulder casually.
"Hey bro, can i have a buck?" he ask in malay.
it was strange. i don't remember feeling any danger. i was happy i remembered. i just return from a annual rotaract dinner, and before that a food distribution charity work. what could go wrong really?
With his arm tightly on my shoulder I couldnt say no. So I gave him the money. Then i noted five or six beings behind him in the shadow. youth, probably same age group, trailing us. suspicion exploded in me. The first youth ask for another dollar. I said no and struggled to get away from his arm. He gripped me harder, chocking my neck.
The streets were not empty. there were cars around, and its a popular pedestrian spot. unfortunately at that time I don't remember seeing anyone except for plenty of cars as they stop for a traffic light nearby.
it was a blur afterwards. i struggle to get away, panicked and flabbergasted. the youth that was griping my neck tightly said to his friend "hit his head hard, hit his head!"
and his friends started besieging me and blows flew onto my head, face, and body. the experience was quaint. i do not remember pain from the blows. my adrenaline probably shut them off. i remember the contact, but not the pain. there was a few on my forehead and my back side of my head. they keep coming, them blows. it was painless, but they keep coming. before i knew it, i was seeing black and the world collapsed.
it was pitch black.
I started hearing voices. I felt like i was dreaming. it was dark outside in the world, i remember smelling the night air. and then i awoke with a jolt.
there were 2 policemen beside me. i was lying on the ground beside a palm tree near the main streets. there were 2-3 pedestrians nearby, gasping. i was stunned. my eyes bulge to a size of golf ball. my head felt like a knife slicing through the brain. my gum felt sore and i could feel my tooth bleeding. one policeman spoke first "are you okay?" i nodded my head with difficulty.
a malay couple was beside me helping me up from the ground, the girl was frighten and was exclaiming "oh my god, poor thing". a chinese youth stood in front of me asking me am i okay, while extending his worries about how dangerous these streets are at night. despite all my injuries i was conscious and very much lucid albeit my heavy head. then the police said the robbers has ran off in motorbikes, they took all my belongings, my bag, my wallet, my watch. they ran off as fast as they could with motorbikes as the police approaches. the policeman spoke worriedly, i can sense their pity and worry, and the fear of what have become of our city?
before i got into the patrol car that was infront of us, i gave the 3 pedestrian a hug, muttering thanks for they provided comfort when i woke up after the beating.
my eyes was bleeding. i couldn't see with one eye. my glasses were all but broken. i couldn't see clearly. the policemen guided me to the car and drove me off.
in the car, i discovered my cellphone was still place snugly in my pocket. the robbers missed it. i was asked if i wanted to go to the clinic or the hospital, considering my eye were bleeding which requires immediate medical attention. i was unsure. and all i wanted to do now was talk to my family. so i called home. it was 11pm, saturday night.
my mom picked up the phone. after a few sentences retelling the incident, it was decided by my panicking parents that i should go to the hospital near our home where my insurance cover as well. the policemen had no idea where it is. they wanted to send me to government hospital much to my parents chagrin.
eventually i decided to guide them to the hospital despite my pulsating headache. after all this part of KL is my playground, a large portion of my youth was spent here, walking the streets, passing it in cars and buses. regardless of in my sore broken state, i knew the roads.
all this while my biggest fear was for my bleeding eye. is it pierced and broken? my career depends on my eye sight. it was scary. and i was slightly tearful towards the journey to the hospital. for my future and for my life. but the policemen told me not to cry and further damage my already bleeding eye. so i swallowed the self pity and my fear and try my best to direct them to the hospital.
my parents were there as we got to the hospital. my mom rushes me to the emergency ward as my dad stays to talk to the policemen about the incident.
i was guided onto a bed, where i see a bright light above me. it was painful. my eye couldnt decipher the lights. the world spins again. my mother held my hand tightly, and chanted a verse from the pali sutra, a buddhist prayer. her voice and the pali word somehow brought calmness to me as i stop shivering for once, from cold and pain.
my dad came later together with my sister and her boyfriend. their presence comfort me.
i was lucky. there were no blood clot in my brain. there were no real serious injuries. the blood running down from my eye turns out to be a cut on my eyelid, few milimetres away from my eyeball which requires fine stitches. my eye were swollen from all the blows. one of my front tooth shattered, but still remains intact. i found out later from the dentist that the root shattered as well, which causes extreme pain when i eat. i received a hairline fracture on my skull which causes one side of my facee to look squarish and asymmetrical. that prompted a 3 weeks rest from my doctor for fear of further damging the hairline fracture.
i stayed in hospital for 2 days. some of my closest friend came to visit, as well as family friends and relatives. as for many others i told them not to bother as i will be discharged soon.
my colleagues shared money bought my a portable nintendo DS as i have lost my much loved portable playstation. it was organized by paola, my best friend that i will never forget for the rest of my life. not because of the DS, mind you. my friends and colleagues came to my house to visit me during my house rest. i was touched by their care.
i never felt the incident was a bad thing. it has passed. and it has revealed plenty things to me. for one, i never really blame the robbers for what they have done to me. yes i felt the pain they inflicted, the unnecessary worry they inflicted on people arouund me, and many other things. they did it because they were greedy or they needed money. perhaps they didn't have proper parental guidance growing up. i am only thankful i escaped with few mishaps and difficulties. that my life was not lost, that i was looked after for right after the incident.
life has its up and down. i'm just glad my down didn't break my spirit.
the spiritualist was consulted again by a relative right after the incident. he said, due to my parents good merits in their extensive charity work almost on every sunday, i was spared from a horrible bad karma that was about to be bestowed to me. i was suppose to be blinded by the incident. instead i only receive a cut on my eyelid. and that karma has passed on. i was left in its wake, wounded but not broken. it might sound like a hogwash to you, but the spiritualist has no idea about my parents charity work as well as my injuries, and how easily i couldve been one eye blind.
after my 3 weeks rest i went back to work, never been so glad to step back into work. life resume its mundane flow as a result of working there, but i change. i continued preparing my reel during my free hours at work. but this time i no longer felt like i belong here. something has change. there was a growing desperation to get out of my mundane life. it was there all this while but the incident bolster it.
i felt like it's time to try something new. and i did.
continue in part 2