Once again here I go...
Fucking things up like I always do. I thrive on chaos and cannot let myself be happy which is a bitch. Why cant I just let people love me? What is so fucking wrong with me? Grrrrrr! Fuck it all! Justin and I have now decided to have a trial separation for six months and see what happens. Fuck, I fucking fucked up one more person that tried to love me. I am just unlovable, yep that is it. I fucking just give up. Someone hand a bottle of jack and some razor blades. I am so fucking done hurting all these fucking people and yet I feel like I cant stop it. FUCK!