Night 52: Sun Room

[composers_proxy]

[from here]

Last time he'd been in the Sun Room at night, there'd been some crazy guy with a gun and Neku really wasn't looking to have another bullet in him, so he was cautious as he pushed the door open, his flashlight darting from place to place.  He might not have all his old psychs on him, but he still had a few of Mr. H's pins and those would

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[gamingsostfu]

All Matt could really do was watch. It was like... Like watching somebody really lose all sense of self and sanity- but right in front of his eyes. Was he hallucinating with Mello?

...or was this another Landel Special?

Suddenly, he was kind of pissed off. This whole setup was such utter bullshit, and it seemed mostly geared up to try to take their legs out from under them, disable them in any way possible so as to set up the game to his advantage.

Assuming Landel was a guy. The whole anonymity thing was leading him to believe that everyone might be wrong in that way of thinking.

Swallowing the fear that a moving shadow had instilled in him back in the Game Room, Matt strode into the Sun Room quickly, determined to set things right. He was tired of the crap, and tired of Mello's second-guessing that he'd been trying (and failing) to hide.

"Oi! Listen here, you make-believe bully! I'm sick of this place, and I'm sick of its shit! So why don't you shut your damn mouth and get back in line along the wall, like a good shadow s'posed to. 'cause why don't you just face facts? You may think he's the shadow, but things aren't going to change. He's not going to just fade off and let you take the reigns. We're going to get out of here, and you know who's going to do it? He is."

And it was right then that Matt realized he truly believed that.

Turning, he looked Mello - the real Mello - right in the eyes. "Fuck this, man. It's a distraction. Must mean we're on the right track, or some bullshit you've spouted at me before." He started moving through the Sun Room again.

[swornandbroken]

Mello was actually speechless for a moment after Matt's outburst. After everything, he still believed in him enough to come to his defense. Mello met his eyes, and almost smiled.

But his relief was short-lived. "Touching, really, Matty, but talk about the blind leading the blind," the shadow scoffed. "This isn't the first time, is it?"

Mello knew exactly what the thing meant, and opened his mouth to object that he hadn't done that yet, annoyed at himself for engaging it on its terms, but it cut him off.

"You know damn well that if you think you need Matt, you won't hesitate to use him. Knowing how it ends won't change anything."

"That's not true," Mello told Matt. He took a belated look around the room. Kids, and a downed brainwash victim. Not their problem.

"Isn't it?" the shadow said. "Let me paint you a picture. Both of you." It lounged insolently against the wall, head tipped back. "First you have to get out, which you've made zero progress towards in a week. Then, assuming you remember what you've learnt here, and assuming you haven't already lost, do you really think you can do it by yourself? You'll never admit it, but you know you can't. You also know you won't just kill Yagami and whoever has the other notebook. You don't even know who that is. That wouldn't end it the way you want, because you don't give a shit about justice. What you care about is winning. More to the point, what you care about is Near knowing you've won. So you'll drag Matt in and get him killed. It's already happened. Pretend you're a big fucking deal all you like, Mihael, you know you can't change it."

"Stop. Saying. That," Mello growled. Fuming again with no place for the rage to go, knowing the only arguments he could summon were weak; it was an all-too-familiar feeling. He'd just ignore his asshole shadow, starting now.

"You good to head upstairs, Matt?" Yes, he was asking. He didn't drag Matt anywhere, damn it.

[gamingsostfu]

He was really sick of listening to this thing now. If he thought at all that there was any way of punching it and not whatever was behind it, he'd have done it, right then and there.

But he couldn't. If Mello couldn't hit his own shadow, there probably wasn't a snowball's chance in hell of Matt being able to do it.

He heard everything it said, but... the brunet turned away from it, trying his hardest to tune it out. Not much hope was left here, in the situation he and Mello continued to find themselves trapped in, but... What little there was, he knew he needed to cling to.

...it was all he could do anymore, really.

Simply nodding to the blond, Matt met his friend's eyes, his cheek's only a little red. "Yeah. Let's get on with it. Lots to do, and no time to spare." No time to waste on listening to stupid, meaningless shadows, really.

In what he felt was a gesture symbolic of his choice to follow Mello around the facility, Matt stayed back, gesturing for Mello to go on in front. "Lead the way, all-knowing one." Said with a small smirk, of course. It was all he could think of, to attempt at lightening the mood.

[swornandbroken]

Mello did smile, now, there and gone in an instant. You know his faith isn't justified, the bugs said. Why do you keep stringing him along?

And Mello's steps faltered. He was horribly tempted again, this time to tell Matt what he was hearing, what he'd been living with, to lay out the whole story for him, the one he'd only hinted at before.

No, he couldn't do it. He'd faced plenty alone, and he'd face this. He couldn't stand the thought of Matt seeing him as weak. It was weakness; he could try to ignore them all he liked, but he couldn't silence them, and he couldn't stop knowing the truth behind what they said. He'd always known it, in some deep part of his soul which he tried to pretend didn't exist. They wouldn't have hit home half as hard as they did if that hadn't been the case.

The shadow rolled its eyes as it followed Mello towards the hallway outside the sun room.

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