Day 52: Lunch

[purpletaint]

[from here]It was a race. A fight against patience and a Song's call. Still, the sedation's dredges churned through him. Two close at hand had a potent effect--much like the night that they were left in that town, and the morning after. Rubedo had came then. Came for them like something out of place, and wasn't that so ironic afterwards--when

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[rocksthecourt]

Distracted as he was looking around the room, Klavier hadn't noticed the approach immediately. It was a tug at the man's shirt that finally drew his attention down to his side. He blinked at the familiar face, surprised. "Nigredo?"

Perhaps he shouldn't have been terribly surprised. They had parted rather suddenly yesterday, but he had figured Nigredo needed a little time to himself and away from interaction for a while. It was fully understandable. Seeing the boy now, Klavier wasn't sure whether this meant he had recovered at all. But he certainly wasn't going to waste time standing here wondering about it.

Without caring to think about it, he placed his tray down onto the table next to them, ready to deem this a fine enough spot to sit. He wasn't going to be that picky. "Ah. Here. Sit down." He indicated the nearest seat with his good hand. "How are you feeling?"

Most probably not any better than he had been yesterday. A night's rest was enough to recover from sedatives but not from whatever circumstances the poor boy was facing. It had only been getting worse if Klavier's interpretations were correct.

[falseblack]

It was good that Klavier took charge of the matter. Without guidance, the child would have stood stock-still, his feet rooted to the floor beneath him while the entire populace of Landel's bumped into his sides. Instead, Nigredo moved as instructed, practically slumping into the indicated chair. Heightened emotions had him staring at Klavier more than usual; the child noted without humor that the man's injuries seemed more pronounced in the daylight. Moreover, was he sporting something new?

Look how well Nigredo could pay attention.

His own uninjured hand reached up to wipe at nonexistent tears, and he could feel the lingering stoicism evaporate to oblivion. Today was not a good day for acting the adult; he would be as twelve as he could help it. "I don't know," he muttered. Green eyes shifted to the empty space on the table. "Rubedo came back, and he doesn't remember being here."

If only that explained everything. If only.

[rocksthecourt]

Indeed, Klavier had never seen him act like this openly. For a moment or two, perhaps, he'd seen the child slip. Seen tears fall and inhibitions crumble. But even then, it was never like this. The pain and hurt was so obvious, it was impossible to brush aside or ignore. Klavier frowned and quietly took the seat next to Nigredo's as the boy spoke, intent on giving his utmost attention. Though frankly, the news offered would have been enough to grab his full attention regardless.

Rubedo... was back! He had come back! Something stirred up in his own chest at the news. Shock. Relief. ...A renewed hope, perhaps. After being gone for a while now, he had managed to return, likely unharmed as Nigredo hadn't immediately mentioned anything about injuries. But something was wrong here. A brother returning should have been a cause for celebration. Why then did Nigredo seem so distraught? Was it simply due to having his memories wiped? Shouldn't he be ecstatic, regardless?

It was the boy's face that kept him from immediately proclaiming this as good news. Klavier only watched Nigredo's facial expressions, trying to understand why. "He came back..." he repeated more to himself than to Nigredo. "I've heard memories tend to be wiped when people return. ...Is he still... himself?"

If they could alter memories, maybe they had altered enough that the boy was different. Could it be he didn't remember his brothers either? Was that why Nigredo was upset?

[falseblack]

Is he still himself? Nigredo did not know. The criteria he had once measured the eldest against had vanished, leaving behind a stranger behind a familiar face. He hadn't a clue if this Rubedo was 27 or another number and if he knew the capability Nigredo held or came after killing majority of his family. If his brother had to return, why hadn't they taken every memory available? Why couldn't they leave nothing behind, no sharp points to cut and tear?

He was rambling internally. Not good when another was awaiting a response. As if to answer, Nigredo shook his head and focused on forming words. How to precisely phrase how wrong this was. "I don't know," the boy repeated, tone intensely quiet. "Does it matter? He probably still knows, and there is nothing that can be done."

I can't watch over him like before.

A pained look was thrown at the man, only to be pulled away. "I couldn't even tell him I was sorry."

[rocksthecourt]

Nigredo was losing him now. He was going on about things as though Klavier had any clue as to what he was saying. From the sound of things, he might have thought this had something to do with Nigredo's proclamation last night. What was it again? He had "done something he could never take back?" Klavier had gotten the impression that was something very recent, however, and Rubedo had been missing for several days. He was referring to something else. Something that had nothing to do with Rubedo's memories of this place, it seemed.

Klavier could have pressed for details. Certainly wanted to as per habit. But unlike certain other people, he understood there were times in which it was simply better to hold back. One could always get answers later if need be. For now, he was willing to let Nigredo get away with talking about things that made no sense to some extent.

"Something can always be done, Nigredo. He only just came back. Why not give it some time? You can always say you're sorry later." He said this calmly, like he had any clue as to what he was talking about. He couldn't possibly know. But the words weren't just thrown out as an empty comfort. Klavier wasn't much for coddling. No, what he said was the truth, regardless of subject. As much as the boy was free to vent, it was good to understand that it wasn't too late to do something.

He was somewhat reminded of a similar exchange a few weeks prior. Their first conversation. Only with the roles reversed.

[falseblack]

The refusal was immediate. No sooner had Klavier finished his sentence when Nigredo shook his head. "It's useless," he answered. Completely useless by any stretch of the definition. An apology would not rid himself of Executioner, and nothing would change the fact that Rubedo would kill Citrine and Albedo. Had killed. There was not a single action the youngest could take to reverse what would occur.

It struck the child, then. Everything he had spoken so far probably sounded random to Klavier. Not an ounce of sense could be derived from something that wasn't placed in context. Nigredo supposed he had to explain, then. It could be payment for running off the night before. If the man was willing to pardon, that is.

He swallowed, and in a voice clearer and calmer than the rest, the boy began unraveling the complications. "Rubedo knew I was made to kill him." Nigredo spared another glance at Klavier. "He knew all this time, and he never told me."

[rocksthecourt]

He remained silent for a heartbeat, watching child's eyes the entire time. In the weeks he'd known Nigredo, he'd learned quite a bit about him and his brothers, much of which he'd sworn confidentiality to. The fact that they were clones, that they were from an incomprehensible amount of time in the future, that they were trained like soldiers, that they had abnormal abilities, that they fought a waveform of consciousness... so much that was difficult to wrap his head around. This that he was talking about counted as such.

Nigredo had mentioned this concept to him once before, something he'd sworn to keep between them only. Those that were cloned were supposedly regarded as instruments rather than people, each with a purpose. Idiotic immorality issues aside, he understood Nigredo's supposed purpose was simply to act as a "failsafe" should Rubedo get too upset and lose control of his abilities. Only this "failsafe" ability would essentially lead to the boy's death. An external self-destruct button, if you will. This was th supposed reason for Nigrdo's birth, the reason he had been told since who knew how long.

Now, here it was again, looming over them. Klavier didn't care what it was some idiot with no moral compass decided to tell these children. The notions they had grown up with were completely ridiculous. He knew Nigredo was definitely more than just some cultivated fratricide waiting to happen. He also knew Nigredo deeply cared for his brothers, even the one Klavier couldn't phathom caring about at all. Surely if he, an unrelated outsider, could see that, so could Rubedo.

"He knew all this time," he repeated again after a moment, "yet he never said anything to you. I assume he never brought the entire subject up either, correct? Don't you think he, perhaps, had a reason for doing that? An important reason?"

[falseblack]

Again, the questions were not accepted, at least in the way they were probably intended. Klavier could perhaps insinuated based on what he understood, but Nigredo understood more. He knew what the reason was, and it was that very reason that complicated matters. The man's efforts were going nowhere; there was nothing to justify.

"He had a reason," he answered, almost too quietly. "He wanted to lie about everything else-- Of course, bringing up the subject would undermine that." The child froze momentarily, as though allowing the stated logic to seep in and make an impression. It did not last.

"You have a brother, Klavier," continued Nigredo. "If he killed everyone you cared for, would you say he is in the right to keep it quiet?"

[rocksthecourt]

Ah, no. That wasn't right. He had wanted Nigredo to realize the reason Rubedo had kept it quiet was due to not wanting that information relevant to their relationship. What his brother was supposedly born to do had no bearing on anything. Rubedo wanted to ignore that so they could treat each other normally. What was wrong with that? Did Nigredo honestly believe Rubedo would hide things for no reason at all?

Before he could bring this concept up, however, Nigredo had to throw a question like that in Klavier's face. He hadn't expected it at all, and for a brief moment his face slipped. Bringing Kristoph to the forefront of his mind was the last thing he wanted at the moment. He wasn't forgetting him. He would never. But he couldn't... dwell on that. Klavier had already given himself a small amount of time to mourn over the circumstance. That was all he would allow. There was no time for more.

So for a second, he simply looked mortified as though offended. Then he glanced away, staring at the untouched lunch on his tray as he tried to wipe that look and all ensuing emotions away. The subject itself was really no better than the mention. Regardless, it almost hurt to reply, but reply he did.

"No," he said simply, quietly. "...Absolutely not. There's nothing right about that at all." There was a pause as though he were thinking. His gaze remained averted. "...You're saying he did that to you? That that's what he's covering up? Or are you just exaggerating for sake of example?" Either way, it really wasn't funny.

[falseblack]

Klavier appeared disconcerted, in a way that had Nigredo musing the possibilities. Such a reaction would only exist if he had somehow hit a personal point; the child had actually expected neutral shock at the worst. Or straight denial. The fact neither had been the case had him staring outright at the man, a searching expression creeping over his face.

"That is what he did," Nigredo said with the same subdued tone, "or will do. He isn't from the time Albedo and I are from. Rubedo isn't even the same age." There was a pause as the child attempted to regain his bearings. He had to clarify his points. This wasn't an inhuman entity who understood the gist of monsters and their respective petty issues; Klavier was, in the end, a civilian.

"I don't know why he did what he did," he admitted after a time. "Why he would..." Kill his twin. Of all people. "But he's not someone I know anymore."

[rocksthecourt]

Rubedo wasn't from the same time? He was another age altogether, even? Guessing ages wasn't exactly Klavier's forte, but the resemblance between the siblings was so exact, it was difficult to tell how much, if any, time discrepancy might lie between them. He only knew the other two were older since Nigredo had specified them as such before. He wasn't sure how old they were supposed to be, but none of them appeared to be at the age yet where a year would amount to a massive growth spurt. If Rubedo were a year or two ahead of them, it could be possible to hide that. And goodness knows how much could happen within the span of one year.

It was difficult to imagine, though. Rubedo? A murderer? He was quick to temper, yes, but he didn't seem much different from any other normal child. To imagine that he would do such a thing in the future sounded... horrific. Klavier could only imagine the emotions cluttering the other's conscience at the moment.

...No, actually. He understood all too perfectly. Hadn't he been in this exact same position only months prior? Hurt and confused. Wanting nothing but answers. Ready to give up absolutely everything he had if he could only find out why. Realizing the one he thought he knew so well, the one he trusted so much... was honestly more of a stranger than he had thought. He's not someone I know anymore.

Klavier turned his eyes back to Nigredo, his expression just as searching as the other's. "...Nigredo. What you're saying... Are you absolutely sure? You're sure this all happens? This isn't something... Albedo told you, is it?"

...If this was just something stupid Albedo had told the boy to get him riled up, Klavier swore on his badge that he would take that little monster and find a room to lock him into every single night until he managed to get back to L.A.

[falseblack]

Questioning certainty, when the child held access to parts of his brothers' minds, was laughable. Lies never existed in the link; false words always betrayed true intentions, and that assurance was something any U.R.T.V. would cling to with ease. At least, Nigredo would, especially when hinted with outside opposition. He exhaled slowly, in a manner that would suggest exasperation.

In truth, he was tired. Too much of it was harming, like a sickness drawn out to the point of utter exhaustion. How should Nigredo detail something of that nature? Only an idiot and a traitor would lay it down in plain form.

"Klavier." The searching look hardened. "I wouldn't say this if I wasn't certain. And Albedo--" Would have no reason to say he would die so frivolously. He would never without truth backing the claim. This was absolute and unchanging. "--would be the last person to lie about it."

Green eyes momentarily darted to the side, to nowhere in particular. And certainly not seeing the pair across the way. "What do I do?" He spoke to the air, a part of him ignoring Klavier for the sake of rhetoric. I don't know what to do.

[rocksthecourt]

No, he supposed he wouldn't. Nigredo was young, but he certainly wasn't gullible nor stupid. He wouldn't just believe whatever was told to him. But he had wanted to know that Nigredo was absolutely sure. There was no room for doubt in something like this, especially if it was going to alter the child's perception of his own brother indefinitely.

What should he do? That was an impossible question to answer. As he'd told that one before, adults and children did things differently. Expectations and reactions for one didn't apply for the other. Faced with one homicidal, psychopathic brother and another who had deprived him of all he cherished in this world? Oh, Klavier knew exactly how he would have reacted, what he would have done. However, his own answer... was not something he could ever suggest that Nigredo actually do. Children should regard their family as family and nothing more, especially when it was all they had.

But thinking about it, Klavier really couldn't let Nigredo do that either, could he? He cared about his brothers so much, yet look how dangerous they were. Look at what they did and how they treated one another. If Nigredo were to simply forgive this along with everything else he'd forgiven and he were to continue trusting them as family, he would only be in danger again. He would be hurt over and over. So it was best he treat Nigredo more like an adult in this situation.

"I can't answer that," he said quietly, a touch of gentility in the tone. "But there is one thing you can do, Nigredo. ...You must find the truth. Get the answers you need. Once you understand the whole truth of the matter, that is when you will know what should be done. But until you know what happened, until you can understand the 'whys,' there is very little that can be done at all." Far easier said than done, as he knew all too well. "And you really need to be careful around them, Nigredo. Both of them. I know it's hard to hear, but... it would be bad to trust them too much."

[falseblack]

He couldn't, no. The man, however, brought up a feasible possibility yet to be entertained in the realm of surface consciousness. A possibility previously stifled due to unspoken fears, the chance that beneath everything else, Nigredo or Albedo had done something unforgivable. That beneath the affable camaraderie, Rubedo did hate them, enough to kill the only family left to the youngest.

Still, in the end, Klavier had a point. Nigredo had not an ounce of objective evidence in regards to his brother's motives; all he had were honest viewpoints from multiple sources. That was probably why he didn't know what to do. Furthermore, as unwanted as it was, the man's statement rang as fact. Not in the way Klavier meant it, perhaps, but the child knew. Far too well.

The twins couldn't be trusted. They would reject him and each other at the very end.

As if to offer confirmation to the fact, Nigredo heard the sounds of a confrontation across the way, and they filled like blood in his ears. Yet, he remained still, his eyes remaining locked on nothing in particular. "...Yeah," he answered. "It isn't like they want me to be around anyway."