DAY 52: BREAKFAST

[nobleobliged]

How one's body could maintain a waking schedule when sleep came unnaturally and in a room without windows, must surely be a mystery. Yet, as if working on cue, Natalia stirred well before her nurse arrived. That was normal. Less so, the weight that sought to press her eyelids closed again, the heaviness of her limbs that made lifting her hands to

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[emperesse]

Had it not been for her experience with Iori, Roxas' words would have gone completely misunderstood. Mitsuru still had to parse it out in her mind for a moment all the same. The words, mumbled around food, sounded as if they were nothing, but she knew they were something. The various sounds-oh, yes, now it made sense.

She noted that he seemed earnest about his food. The look in the eyes, his smile-he had decided to enjoy it, even if she hadn't yet. After all, she could still feel the grease lingering on her fingers. Many others in the room were eating without their utensils, and she decided that it was what she was meant to do. Learning in the process, as it were. But she did wish she had someone familiar to explain this to her. Not that she needed someone to help her decide, but discussing this simple food could be interesting, couldn't it?

Mitsuru considered asking him, but she knew she had to respond first. "I don't mind," she said. It was likely that he was a patient here seeking assistance. Whatever his problem was, she couldn't be unkind to him. Some people simply needed that, after all.

"I've only just arrived, and I must confess that I wouldn't mind the company. While I'm not hoping to be here long enough to be acclimated with the setting, some things are still ... unusual." To indicate what she meant, she picked up the another pig-in-blanket to show it to her new table partner. "Such as this. I've never had it before."

[rischiarare]

Roxas considered her calm answer a success on his part; since he hadn't screwed up his conversation with that last girl, maybe he could go through another one without making any mistakes. He'd have to tell Jim his advice was working out pretty well, though maybe Roxas was getting a little more confident about himself without worrying about that whole "assume you're wrong from the beginning" thing.

He couldn't be wrong if he helped her out on things he actually knew, right?

"Oh, you're new?" he inquired with interest once his mouth was clear and uninhibited by food. He didn't know what acclimated was, but it was good to know she wasn't falling for Landel's normalcy act - oh. Except that wasn't the weird he'd been expecting her to bring up. That was kind of weird. No "there are monsters here?" Just... asking about food.

Maybe she didn't know anything?

"I guess you don't know about the really weird stuff then." Roxas jerked his head toward her pig thing then gave her a thumb up. "You should try it! They're really good. The name's weird, but the taste is way better."

[emperesse]

"Well, I've tried it just now," she said, realizing that she failed to inform him. It wasn't as if he had been watching and observing her for long, at any rate. "It's ... strange. Very basic in its taste. I wouldn't call it a delicacy, but ... I didn't mind it, either." That was her decision, and as she didn't know about all of his mannerisms, she decided not to ask.

What did make her hesitate was the mention of "weird" things. She wondered what he meant, but given her experiences, most people weren't aware of the unusual things in the world. And that had always been for the best. The Dark Hour, the choices that they all had to make-they were made without anyone ever knowing. She didn't mind it, either.

But she decided to admit her situation all the same. It was "weird" enough to share, and it wasn't talking about food. That topic had passed, and it would show her to be a poor conversational partner if she didn't keep things moving. "What's unusual is that I've woke up here in the place of another patient. They've called me by another name and insisted that I must stay here. I've ... discerned that it will be rather difficult to speak to someone who will listen to me, but I intend to make someone do just that. This kind of mistake shouldn't happen." Her words picked up speed as she went on, and she became more forceful.

"Ah, I'm sorry," she quickly added. "That's probably not easy for you to hear."

[rischiarare]

"Oh." Well, it made sense that she had tried it instead of waving it around in her face and looking at it curiously. That would have just been weird. Roxas got the feeling he had just been scolded by a teacher or something, so he wasn't sure how to respond outside of that single syllable for a moment, especially since he wasn't quite sure what delicacy entailed. He recognized the word, but these pig things was pretty darn good... maybe she meant sea-salt ice cream or some other kind of sweet thing. That would have definitely been better.

Luckily, she moved on from that to a new topic he could easily converse about. "In place of another patient... I never thought of it that way. They call everyone the wrong name, though." It was a fresh way of thinking, but in the end, to replace every patient in the building... that didn't seem right, or worth it (if there even was a point to doing so).

He could follow her train of thought for a while, but the ending caught him up. "What're you apologizing for?"

[emperesse]

The revelation about the names did give her cause for hesitating in her thinking. Perhaps her apology was unnecessary, if that were the case, but the fact still remained: Mitsuru didn't belong in this institute. Were she to suddenly share the experiences she held with the other SEES, she had no doubt they would all find themselves here. But that was unlikely. They sought no notoriety with their actions, and one individual would not lead to all of them ending up here.

And she knew would recall that. If nothing else, her memory was faultless now; there would be no sudden recognition. The only thing she missed now was her entry here. Her mind could not forge the pieces of information necessary to understanding how she landed in this place. That fact was infuriating, but she would not be surprised if there was some need to drug her before they forced her into the confines of this place.

She frowned slightly, but continued with her way of thinking. There was no proof that she needed to abandon that just because this place had poorly kept files on their patients. "Because I've no doubt that you're here for a reason. It can't be easy to hear someone say they'll be released soon once matters are cleared up."

[rischiarare]

He belonged here? Why would anyone think that? This certainly wasn't a place for Nobodies, and if Xemnas tried to forcibly send him anywhere (or tried to make the Organization do so in order to corral him into their fold again... or get rid of him, either way), he doubted it'd be the same place Number I would be confined to. According to what he'd heard and seen, there weren't any exceptions. Everyone was weakened. Everyone was trapped.

Except the ones who were "cured", which seemed like giving up to him.

Unless - well, she was new. The thought had never occurred to him, so the Nobody took a minute to think over it... all the while staring at her while the gears in his mind turned. "You think I'm crazy?" he asked, his face having turned serious. He guess he couldn't blame her; if he had known as much about asylums when he'd first gotten here, he might have thought something similar.

Well... nah. Probably not.

"I guess that makes sense. But I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy."

[emperesse]

"That's not how I would put it, but I believe that would be the suggestion, yet. There are different degrees of mental illness. Depression, for one. Depression is not that I would consider 'crazy'. Merely ... a difficult condition." Most of Mitsuru's definitions of psychology were out of a textbook, however; she admitted to herself that she was hardly the best analyst. It required a certain understanding of the human mind that she failed to have, and one she doubted she would ever have.

However, sadness to such a great extent-it was something she knew well. Even if it was temporary compared to what she knew of the condition, she understood that much.

But what she did know of others, she had to admit to herself that this boy was far too flippant to be considered anything she would define as "mentally ill." He enjoyed the food and was able to smile. Perhaps he had been here for some time and was on his way to doing well, but she wasn't certain. She realized, regardless, that it was unwise of her to simply assume such things.

"I'm sorry again, though," she pressed. "Your condition is none of my business."

[rischiarare]

"They'd feed me to monsters for feeling sad?" he asked with shock, the first time Roxas had showed any inflection in his voice outside of cool interest. How was being eaten going to solve being sad? Not that he thought being eaten would solve any problems, but that just seemed... totally ridiculous! Actually, if you asked him, he was pretty sure Mr. Landel was crazy and everyone - well, mostly everyone - who was a patient was sane. He might not have had much experience with crazy outside of the Chesire Cat and a queen who really enjoyed people's disembodied heads, but he felt Landel would fit right among that world's populace with all the weird flowers and cutting heads off and really vague clues that didn't mean anything.

(Maybe the man on the radio should go there too.)

"I mean, I don't think asylums usually work like this one but I don't think even being somewhere like this is going to help anyone become less crazy." He shrugged at this line of thought, or maybe it was to her apology. He didn't know, but he was confused and bewildered at the same time. "Um... you don't have to keep apologizing." Maybe she kept apologizing because she was winning the conversation. (Was that how it worked?) But shouldn't she be happy she was winning? With as much confusion as he now had in comparison to when he'd entered the cafeteria, Roxas was sure he wasn't winning.

But he wouldn't give up!

He wiped his fingers on his pants after he'd finished the last of the pigs, extending his hand across the table. "I'm Roxas, by the way. And I'm not crazy. Really."

[emperesse]

That alone caught her attention enough. Mentioning the monsters made her pause, because that hadn't come up yet. Mitsuru processed that maybe things were incorrect perceptions, but she didn't have enough proof yet. It seemed unusual that someone would deny their conditions, unless they were suffering from dissociative identity disorder-or something similar, such as schizophrenia. But this boy seemed of sound mind, eating his food, and talking like it was nothing. He finished his food just as quickly as Iori or Minato might; all in all, there was nothing uncommon about him.

Thus, she decided to drop the subject. There was no need to continue apologizing. However strange this meeting was, it seemed that he wasn't offended.

When he extended his hand, she took it, and gripped firmly, understanding what importance that had in business arrangements. Once, she had been told to be somewhat dainty with her expression in these circumstances, but she refused. If she were meant to be a business woman, then she would carry out similar traditions to other men. There was no reason to give away perceptions such as being weaker. Those were ridiculous ideals, even if she sometimes wished she were more naturally feminine, like Takeba.

"Kirijou Mitsuru," she replied. She considered asking for his lack name, but decided it was best not to. It must have been a preference of his to go by Roxas, and she decided, however awkward it was to be so informal, to respect that. "I ... I will believe you, for now. There is no reason to believe you to be lying."

[rischiarare]

"Ki... rijou." Even for someone used to being around strange names (considering the Organization member's name origins), Roxas found that one pretty weird. He wasn't even sure how to spell it, or... why there were two parts. He thought there may have been a pause there. It sounded like two parts. Was the whole thing her name?

Being the master of tact that he was, Roxas commented with, "That sounds weird."

At least he had convinced her a little. Even if she didn't sound very sure of herself, it was a start! "I dunno why anyone would lie about that. It seems kind of backwards." He scratched the back of his head, unsure what to do with his hands now that the handshake was over and he had nothing left to eat. Leaving to get more seemed kind of rude, even if his stomach still felt a little empty. It grumbled in frustration, but he didn't pay it any mind. "If there was more cooperation around here, everyone probably wouldn't still be stuck." Maybe with Sora's leadership and his help, the Arts & Crafts club could get the patient body a little further. He wasn't sure what the job Sora would give him was, but he imagined it would be something like what he was trying to do now: help some of the newer prisoners.

[emperesse]

"'Weird'," she repeated, as if she was mildly unimpressed with his conclusion. But he was correct in what he had to say: this was hardly a place where someone would draw the conclusion that the best course of action would be to lie about someone's state of mind. There was always an obvious conclusion here, and saying otherwise was only necessary when it was the truth.

The facts didn't line up coherently. Why were they both sane and called by other names? Was it truly a clerical error? The food, the setting, the oddities-if it were somewhat more disconnected, Mitsuru would draw the basic conclusion that it was all a dream. But dreams didn't involve this level of conversation. No one questioned a dream this heavily, did they? Then again, it wasn't as if she was an expert on that level of psychology; it was all undefined for her, uncertain, and out of a textbook.

Of course, there was the final piece of information he dropped: the comment about the cooperation. It made sense. For all his simple statements, it reminded her of business. Businesses that involved cooperation and few feuds on the inside led to a well-oiled machine. Mitsuru readily recalled her own sacrifices in order to keep the Kirijou Group going. There would be no university, because she now had to lead the organization. If she didn't make these sacrifices, then the greedy hands who were waiting for the opportunity to take charge could step in. They were still lurking.

It was possible they were now. Would her absence mean that the group would fall apart? Were they the ones who arranged this?

Then again, it was silly thinking that. That sounded like the plotline of those silly comics she often avoided because they seemed far too detached from reality. Not that she had much to say about reality; her whole life had been influenced by witnessing what few others realized existed. The Dark Hour, Personas-they were unusual enough.

"Do you mean with the doctors?" she decided to ask. But as soon as the question left her mouth, she realized it was possibly obvious that she was incorrect in her perceptions.

[rischiarare]

"The doctors?" he parroted, cocking his head once more. Sometimes the Nobody would make the habit of echoing a question he didn't understand to take a moment to think over it once more; usually this procedure would always lead to a little bit more clarity than he had at first. "No, I don't mean about the doctors. I haven't even seen any of them myself. I've wondered a couple of times if there are any doctors around here." And that was the truth. He knew the Head Doctor had mentioned doctor visits for the patients once or twice, but Roxas never seemed to be included in them, and he hadn't asked anyone about them either. At first he imagined it may have been because of his age (all of the nurses talked down to him in comparison to how he'd heard them talk to other patients, at least), but as time went on he wasn't so sure. In the end, he hadn't drawn any definite conclusion at all.

"I mean everyone's... stuck. The patients try to escape each night and always get dragged back in some kind of weird fit of sleep or something. I never remember how I've gotten back to my room," he shrugged. Up until last night it had severely bothered him, but once he had awoken with the gun in his hands he decided that it might not really matter how they got back, as long as it was in one piece and with what he'd gone out to accomplish. "This one guy was talking about revolution or something but they drugged him. I don't think his idea worked."

[emperesse]

A hospital without doctors. Mitsuru didn't believe it was possible, with all the nurses walking around. They were clearly medical professionals that served as assistants to actual doctors-at least, that was what she wanted to believe. It was easier to apply her thinking to that. That was the way the world was logically meant to work, and that meant there were no more problems. She wanted to believe that was possible, even if she was prepared to handle otherwise. It wasn't that she was reluctant to help fix it, it was just that she didn't want to believe it could be that way.

But it was the mention of the night that made her pause, just as the mention of the monsters had. The weird understanding of how they never seemed to be able to figure out how they made it back to beds. It sounded like a dream, but it was unlikely. That didn't work with even her understanding of what problems led to Tartarus; in fact, none of it seemed to make sense.

"I'm not surprised," she remarked. It was a passive comment, because she was trying to use it to take more time to think. "Why the night? Are the guards that incapable of keeping us contained?" People were simply stuck in asylums; it was the very nature of them, so she didn't understand why that was unusual. But she forced herself to tread further into this line of questioning. It seemed important, and as if she was missing something, for him to perceive all this as bizarre.

"I-I heard you mention monsters." She decided to bring it up again. Mitsuru knew how it would appear to someone else to acknowledge the existence of monnters, but she thought she would attempt that line of questioning.

[rischiarare]

The answer surprised him. "Y... you're not?" Okay, maybe not everyone was used to the weirdness that was his life, but the whole situation wasn't surprising? Even the patients he had met that had had former knowledge of asylums had thought the whole night excursion thing was completely insane, especially the whole... unconsciousness thing. And no matter how far they got - even to Doyleton! - they were always dragged back. Always.

Landel's was kind of like the new HQ, except he didn't have a choice -

... no, that was like the old HQ, too.

"I don't know about guards. There isn't really anyone stopping anyone from leaving their rooms at night. I think it's kind of encouraged, actually." With "presents" like the portal rings, it sounded like exploring - or whatever some people were doing - was exactly what the head doctor wanted. Kind of like ants in one of those ant farm things. Someone up above, just watching all of the movement, occasionally shaking the box to mess everything up. "And yeah, there are monsters. Like... zombies. I saw a zombie last night. Did you know they go around biting people?" He stuck his tongue out a little. "Its skin was all hanging off. It was gross and it smelled bad."