Day 49: Morning - Magus Park

[allroadslead]

Lingering around where the buses were parked made him feel too much like a lost tourist-especially with that woman looking at him like that-so Sam headed off to the park instead. Not too far since he knew Dean would want to see him. Not for anything specific, obviously. It'd just always been automatic to find each other after whatever crazy stuff

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[dreadofthegrave]

After talking to Naminé for a little while, Battler eventually fell into a comfortable silence, staring out the window at the town they were to visit. It seemed normal enough; rustic, a bit on the secluded side--just what you'd except of a village near a mountain. It seemed like it might be a refreshing place to walk around in despite the weather, but the sight of boarded windows and distrustful looks from the locals made him quickly reconsider. Was it one of those places, where strangers were treated like outsiders and never fully welcomed? No, maybe that was a little harsh. Most people wouldn't normally be very open to busloads of mental patients--some might even think them 'unclean.' It was the sort of unfortunate stigma one wouldn't normally expect to encounter, but that didn't mean it didn't exist. ... This was probably going to be a long day.

Ah well. There wasn't really anything he could do about it. It wasn't pleasant, but it was best to just ignore those unpleasant looks and not let them get under his skin. He made his way into park, thankful for the sweater and jacket--it was pretty chilly outside--and considered what to do next. Did he linger around here a little longer, or go look around?

[ for Rika! ]

[repeatingfate]

To say that Rika was uneasy was an understatement. It was less about the town itself - she had seen worse during all the talk about the dam back in Hinamizawa - and much, much more about one Furudo Erika.

She was hiding her nerves, but not well enough. Her nurse called her aside for a quick chat, but at least she didn't pay any further attention to it when Rika said that her stomach was just a little queasy from the bus ride.

She glanced around, looking for a friendly familiar face, and found one a few moments later. One she wanted to talk to, actually. "Good morning, Battler," she said, bowing her head a little.

[dreadofthegrave]

"Oh, Rika-chan! Good morning," Battler returned cheerfully. The sight of a familiar person was a nice contrast to the strange stares received on the bus. She looked a little better than the last time he'd seen her, too, which was definitely a good thing.

Or at least, that was true in physical sense. While Battler could be a little dense, he wasn't oblivious, either. That downcast look was a little worrying, and while he wasn't exactly the best person for that sort of thing, that didn't mean he could ignore it, either.

"... Something the matter?" He asked carefully. It was probably the best he could do--either listen, or provide some kind of distraction if she didn't want to talk about about it. If there was one thing he didn't enjoy, it was seeing a girl upset.

[repeatingfate]

Rika tried smiling a little, but she couldn't shake off that conversation. As much as she didn't want to drag up the subject of what happened back home, there was really no way around it. She nodded in reply, taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

"I guess all I really need to say is that my nurse decided it was 'cute' for Erika-san and I to sit next to each other on the bus. It didn't go so well...I think it's safe to say that if we weren't enemies before, we are now."

Rika shook her head a little. "Is it just me, or does she always seem like she knows too much?"

[dreadofthegrave]

"Erika, huh..." That was definitely something Battler could sympathize with, knowing the girl's true colors. He found himself smirking, dark around the edges, and his words conveyed the same sort of feeling. "Ihihihi, well. That's good. That's one thing we have in common." Erika wasn't really an enemy in the strictest sense of the word, but he didn't like her, and he didn't accept her, either. Especially not after that last stunt she'd pulled on the gameboard.

After her next words, however, the grin fell into something more genuine, and maybe even a little goofy. "About that, try not to let it bother you. It's kind of disgusting, but she's the kind of person who likes to use what they know to crush people. How should I say it... There's always people who want to be right, but there's also taking that too far, and she does that in the worst possible way. It'd be better not to give her the satisfaction, right?"

However, despite his feelings about Erika, he did need to find her and confirm what was going on. He'd be lying if he said someone of the thing she'd mentioned the other day hadn't messed him up a little, but there was also a strange reluctance to trust her. She was certainly manipulative, but it could also be argued that he simply didn't want to listen because he didn't want to accept that anything bad could be happening back home. That much was certain, wasn't it? If it had come from any other source, he probably wouldn't be as questioning and unsure of how to proceed. He'd at least gotten over his outburst from the previous night, but a sense of unease was still there at the back of his mind. He supposed for now, there was no choice but to ignore it, until they had that talk.

"So, you want to take a walk around? The weather kind of sucks and I don't know where anything is, but I guess it's better than nothing."

[repeatingfate]

That kind of smirk might have normally made her feel uneasy, but once again, it reminded her of home - but in the good way. It was the kind of smirk she might have seen on Keiichi or Mion or Satoko, and that made it all right. That was the kind of determination that came from a good place, and made her want to keep on going.

A moment later, Rika smiled for the first time that morning, and nodded. "You're right. I guess it's just a little weird because we look so much alike? But I don't like people twisting words like that. If she wants to play that kind of thing, well..."

She laughed, trying to keep it lighthearted. "I learned a few tricks back home. We'll see how she likes having her doorknob covered in glue or something."

Rika looked around, then. The boarded-up buildings and smiley faces were something she could handle, and while the weather definitely wasn't the best, she felt like exploring. "That sounds really good. Thank you."

[dreadofthegrave]

Battler laughed, glad to see the girl in a better mood. "Pranks, huh? Sounds interesting. I wouldn't mind pulling a couple on her myself," he replied cheerfully. Of course, he was joking. Mostly. He was getting to an age where most kids wanted to try setting down and acting more adult instead of rolling around like a bunch of kittens, but there were always exceptions. Battler wasn't about to be serious at the cost of fun, and if you asked him, annoying Erika was perfectly justifiable cause.

When she agreed to take a walk, he decided to tale the long way through the park, somehow compelled to look around a little more. It really was pretty in a simplistic sort of way. It was nothing too grandiose like the rose garden on Rokkenjima, but it was still relaxing, and even though he'd never been there, there was something almost nostalgic about it. It wasn't enough to completely distract him, however, and after a while he found himself pausing.

"...Say, Rika. I've been meaning to ask you something. It'll probably be pretty uncomfortable, so you might not want to hear it, and that's okay with me. There's just something I was curious about, is all."

He had to wonder if he should even be asking at all. All he was going to do was stir up what had to be some painful memories, and to what ends? It was true that there might be some kind of hint there, but ultimately all he'd be doing was satisfying his own self-interests. ... Still, wasn't it human nature to be drawn to the familiar?

[repeatingfate]

Rika giggled just a little, nodding. "Well, we had a club back home, that specialized in game-playing - stuff like card games, board games, that stuff. The president, Mion, made a rule, that whoever lost...well. Let's say everything I ever learned about playing pranks on people was stuff I learned from her. She never did anything that would hurt anyone, but...she definitely liked having fun with them."

...okay, maybe that incident at the Okinomiya pool right before she'd gotten there would have counted as hurting Keiichi's pride, but...it wasn't going to be anything that would hurt him forever. Mion wasn't that kind of person, despite her family's reputation.

"It's pretty here," Rika mused. "It's too bad it's not sunny, but...it's nice."

She was snapped out of that mild daze by that question, and looked up at Battler, nodding once. There was a little nervousness in her expression, but she shook it off just as fast as it appeared. "Okay. What is it? It's...well. I brought up someone weird right at the start, so it's fair, right?"

[dreadofthegrave]

"A game club? Sounds like a lot of fun," Battler grinned. "I used to do stuff like that too, with my cousins. Sometimes we got a little carried away, and George-aniki would have to stop us," he laughed. They were all more mature now, but going back even after six years, they'd all settled into more or less the same roles. It was... nice, the sort of happy feeling he wished didn't have to end, and one that had had become unbearable to watch, out of the simple knowledge it would soon be torn apart.

"Almost seems like a postcard or something, huh? Well, other than those storm clouds, but maybe we'll get lucky and they'll pass over. I could live without getting rained on in this cold weather. Can't say I'm feeling up to nursing a cold here."

... Fair? Not exactly, but since he was the one who had brought the subject up, it would be stupid not to follow through. He paused, before responding, "Well. When we first met, you mentioned something about a game, and people dying. I'm not really sure if it's the same thing, but I've been through something like that myself. You said you got out if it, right? That's what I wanted to hear about."

[repeatingfate]

Rika smiled at the mention of that. "It can be a lot of fun, just playing around like that. We got a little carried away sometimes, but usually someone would speak up, and usually that someone was me," she admitted, with a small, sheepish look on her face. "I miss it, though."

She took a seat on one of the park benches, kicking her legs idly for a second and staring up at the sky. Those storm clouds did look a little foreboding, and she almost wanted to ask about going inside somewhere, but stopped short. "I don't want anyone nursing a cold here, either. So maybe they'll pass on by."

Though it might have been appropriate, if rain had started to fall just then. Rika had expected to have that story come out, and she just nodded once, taking a minute to calm her nerves again before she started to tell it. When she spoke again, her voice dropped in pitch, almost as if she were someone different.

"I think...I think it's got to be the same kind of thing. It repeats over and over, right? Mine was the June of 1983, and it always ended right after the yearly town festival. Always. Some things changed, here and there, over time, but it took a long time before all the pieces finally came together. But...I should tell you about how it started, or how I can remember it starting, first.

I was the target. I didn't always die first, but I always did, at some point. Once I died, the village followed. And all because one woman wanted to become a god."

Rika looked up at Battler for a moment before continuing.

"She tangled things up so much that...well. She faked her own death, so she wouldn't be counted as a suspect. I didn't remember it until one of the last games. But even then...it took everyone remembering the past to break the cycle. Without everyone's memories, and them acting to change so that those things wouldn't happen again..."

The girl paused again, swallowing around a lump in her throat. "Even then, we had a missing piece. That missing piece was...my dearest friend. She didn't believe we could break the cycle for a long time. When she changed her mind, we finally did it. Everyone came together and protected me, and I..." Rika couldn't finish her sentence, swallowing again around that lump.

[dreadofthegrave]

Battler settled into the bench about a space away, leaning back and falling silent, not wanting force her or saddle her with a bunch of unnecessary questions. It was almost tempting in its own way, but this had to be painful enough, dragging up incredibly unpleasant memories, so it was better to wait, and let her answer at her own pace.

He was only mildly surprised to heard about a recurring set of circumstances. Even having next to nothing to go on, it was something he'd expected since the very beginning. What else could he have thought of, when that first conversation was so familiar to what'd he'd known? However, suspicions and knowing were both totally different things. It was easy to deal with vague assumptions, because without confirming, there was always room for suspicion and doubt.

The understanding setting in, he could feel an incredible weight pressing down on his shoulders. It wasn't like he couldn't deal with everything he'd been through. It was a horrible, suffocating feeling, something like slowly being ripped apart, but it was something he willingly carried and would see through to very end. Even so, the idea that he wasn't alone, that someone else had carried that kind of burden.... He didn't like it. He didn't like it at all...! What the hell was that, anyway, wasn't she just a little girl..?! She didn't act like one exactly, but after all that, that wasn't surprising at all.

There were things there he wanted to know more about, but he ignored that feeling, moving one hand to rest on Rika's shoulder. ".... Sorry. I really shouldn't have asked about that. I mean, it's hard enough one even one person dies, right? But over and over like that, it just never gets easier, not even a little. To go through something like that..... It's cruel and disgusting and sometimes all you want to do is give in. So getting through, coming out the other side, I really respect that. Only someone really strong could do that. Still, I guess there's some things you just can't forget about. ... It's the cuts you can't see that always leave the biggest scars."

[repeatingfate]

"You do. I don't know how many times I almost -- " Those tears Rika had been trying to keep down welled up in her eyes, and she wiped them with the back of her hand. She had tried not to cry telling it all, but now that she thought about it, very few people knew the whole story. Her friends at home knew, and she had told Ange, and now Battler, but that was it. And it was the first time she had told it on her own, without anyone else to back her up. The only reason she hadn't cried before was that she didn't want to cry in front of Hanyuu.

But it was all right. She wouldn't go telling it to everyone, but it was okay to have said it all now. The only ones who would really understand the whole idea of repeating cycles of death like that would be those who had experienced them, and Battler was one of them.

"I thought about giving up so many times...but I couldn't. I didn't want everyone else to die, and I..." Rika didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to.

She took a minute to compose herself, breathing deeply and looking up at the sky. "It never gets easier, but all you can do is keep going. Giving up is worse than what happened." Her violet eyes met his blue ones, and didn't waver as she spoke again. "I know you're going to break your own cycle, once you get back. You're a strong person too, and you really care about everyone. Those two things are going to be your keys. Just hold on to them and it'll be okay."

Rika punctuated the sentence with a nod, a smile, and a firm "Ni-pah!", a verbal tic that hadn't made an appearance for a long time. She wouldn't talk about the witch who shared her appearance, nor the girl that did. Not right now.

[dreadofthegrave]

Battler squeezed Rika's shoulder lightly, pretending not to look when she when wiped away her own tears. It was funny, but seeing that, he felt like doing it himself. But that was stupid, right? They were her memories, the burden she'd carried. In other words, Rika was the one it hurt the most. What right did he, who hadn't even met any of those people, have to get to get so upset? The depth of the loss mirrored the depth of the feelings, so there was no reason for him to be upset at all. ... It wasn't like he thought it was wrong to get upset on the behalf a friend. He'd never call that sort of feeling bad or wrong. But still, the same level could never be reached. So for him to cry, even if it wasn't wrong, just wouldn't feel right.

"I'm the same. Sometimes I didn't want to deal with it, and thought it would be easier to give up hope. ... No, it probably would be. They say believing is a worse hell than the depths of despair, right? But I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I gave up on everyone, or ignored those promises I made. ... It's kind of scary. I have no idea what's happening to everyone now that there's nobody there to fight it."

He frowned as he said it, lowering his gaze a little, but when he looked up again, it had vanished, replaced by a smirk and aura of absolute confidence. "... Of course, I don't plan on giving in. It's like that saying; 'fall down nine times, get up ten.' I've never lost a contest of endurance. I'm the kind of idiot who can't even when they should." It was a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but sometimes that kind of thing was necessary to keep going.

The word at the very end pulled Battler back into reality, away from the surreal subject they'd been talking about, and he found himself laughing. It really was cute, wasn't it? He took the opportunity to pull himself up onto his feet.

"... I'll have to tell you about it sometime, the place I came from. I guess it'd be a little much right now. Instead of dragging things down, wouldn't it be good to go do something fun?"

[repeatingfate]

Rika grinned at that laugh, looking happier than she had all morning. She felt like a little weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she nodded as she stood up.

"I think...I think as long as you don't forget about them and what they mean to you, it'll be all right," she said, with a single firm nod. "It's just a gut feeling. They won't forget you if you don't forget them. So the thing to focus on is just making the best of things here."

She glanced up again, and - eep, was that a raindrop? Standing out in the rain wasn't a good idea when it was this chilly. "Yeah, it would. Let's go!"