Yet another intercom jingle sounded, and the nurses, anticipating the Head Doctor's orders, already began grouping around the patients as he began to speak
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"Mm, something like that," Battler shrugged. "I mean, it's weird, isn't it? Getting told your experiences are lies. It's not like I'm about to believe that crap, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant."
Never mind the stuff that supposedly went on at night. It had been unsettling when he'd first woke up, and still was, to a certain extent, but he'd mostly been able to accept the information he was given thus far. Of course, Rika was probably the only reason he was at this stage. Accepting some of the things he had assumed a certain premise. But monsters? Battler still wasn't really sure how he felt about that. It felt... off, in an unpleasant way. There had certainly been a lot of injured people, enough to get noticed, but the idea of something so fantastical and unreal lurking in the halls was kind of.... Of course, he had no reason to doubt any of the people he'd met thus far, either. Rather than worrying about it, he supposed he'd find out soon enough....
"I wonder what they're trying to accomplish by all this, anyway," he thought aloud, leaning back into his chair a little. "Taking people from where they belong, forcing them into this weird situation. .... It's disgusting. Nobody should be allowed to play around with human lives like that."
That caught his attention enough. It was a shift from the norm, and it meant that this guy had a brain working after all. Riku finished off his ice cream by time he was able to think about responding, and had dug his fork into his spaghetti, though he hadn't started eating it. What were they doing? Maleficent had a purpose behind what she did, and Xehanort's Heartless did, too. Organization XIII wanted to be whole again-or that was what they told people. Even now, Riku had his doubts about it. Xemnas' speeches didn't indicate that getting their hearts was his only purpose, and Ansem the Wise's grudge wasn't entirely unfounded. At least, against some of them. Roxas and Naminé were never included.
He didn't have anything to add, but he glanced down uneasily. "I don't know," he confessed. "Guys like the ones here ... They've usually got something working. Breaking our spirits, making the ones we care about unable to smile-it doesn't make any sense." Those words probably revealed more about him than he'd like, but he didn't care. Riku's lips twitched down into a permanent frown. "I'm used to people playing with lives, all because they can. That's nothing new. The rest ... I just don't like it. If they have this kind of power, why are they keeping us all here?" Why do they want them to believe they weren't who they believed themselves to be? An entire mental institute didn't just fill up full of people who were delusional. The world didn't work that way.
Breaking spirits, hurting loved ones... Yeah, that sounded pretty familiar, both from before, and even now, and he found himself smiling bitterly. Why did Ange have to be here, and why like this...? Battler had no intention of letting it break him down, but the details of that meeting still weighed heavily on him. He kept trying to reassure himself, but in the end, he wasn't the one who getting screwed by this; it was her. Because of that, no matter how optimistic he tried to make himself about it, he kept wavering, and uncertainty would come crawling back. It wasn't his rule that she would die, but when it came to her situation, he was more than to blame. ... If her family had just come home that day, then maybe she could actually be happy. But they couldn't. Not when they were still trapped in a that game.
"... It's useless. It's all useless, isn't it," he said quietly. "I've seen something like that, myself. Killing, trampling, degrading, defiling--all out of something as petty as boredom, whatever the hell's so entertaining about that. I don't even want to try and understand such twisted hobbies....! But then, there's also been the opposite. Something sick and gruesome not because they enjoyed it, but because there was a message behind it. .... It definitely doesn't excuse anything, but intentions can change a lot about the situation."
It was the exact same argument he'd had before. The outcome of the deaths didn't matter to Beatrice, nor did the epitaph. X = Y. Y = 0. Therefore, the weights were meaningless. The answer was somewhere in that scale, somewhere in that equal sign. Here, it must have been something like that. Either they were doing it because they could, or there was actually some hidden meaning, but at this point, it was hard to tell either way.
Opposite of Riku, Battler pushed the spaghetti away and took in a mouthful of ice cream. He normally liked sweet things well enough, but somehow, it didn't taste very good. It was probably the atmosphere; they'd sure gotten into a serious conversation, right away, huh? It was to be expected, all things considered, but even if the situation was screwed up, there was no reason to treat everything so somberly. The idea of people being played around with was hardly something Battler wanted to connect on. If anything, he wished witnessing that sort of thing was limited solely to himself. Maybe there was a way to lighten the mood a little...
"Well, either way, I'm not about to sit here and let things continue like this. I need to get back, and I'll do whatever it takes. It's the same for everyone else, right?" The bitterness in his expression disappeared, replaced with complete self-confidence. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or how he was going to do it, but staying put just wasn't an option. There were too many people he just couldn't abandon.
Wallowing in what they couldn't do was something Riku was a little more used to. Thinking of the darkness and his failures with it, he still felt the black blindfold wrapped around his eyes, keeping the truth from being revealed to other people. His eyes couldn't lie, so even if he took care of people, he knew that in his heart, they would always be the same. But while he wore the blindfold, he knew what he missed beyond the smell of his friend, and the feel of the all-too-familiar terrains. He missed so much about people-their smiles and their ways of carrying themselves-that he had a hard time picking up on cues now that his eyes were wide open, and his darkness was relatively stripped from him. Still, he knew he would normally have its strength on his side, but it was different.
In some cases, he knew that things like this place weren't always meant to be feared. If it had a purpose, if it had a force-the very strength of the force was not the problem. Whoever ran this place and used those nurses, that was the real problem. Riku learned that much, because while he took the darkness upon himself and let it wrap his heart up too tightly, he also knew that he hated himself more than the power. It was just that he was needing a scapegoat. King Mickey made him realize that.
But even so, Riku had a feeling he wouldn't be able to separate those things here. As Battler said, it was a gamble, but for what? Shinji had told him earlier that they made a friend of his instantly forget who he was; would it be the same for everyone else? Would their lives slip away in some victory? Was it all to see what they could do? Idly, he wondered what would happen if they faked sanity. If he walked out one day and claimed to be Adam, would the nurses have any jurisdiction behind keeping him there? Or would they need to free him from their hold, allowing him to step out? He'd have to ask his friends if they knew any cases like that. It was risky, but Riku could take on the identify if someone else in order to play along with these things. He just realized it would be difficult. If they wished to make up lives for everyone there, would they have a life for him, all to test if he could pass their quiz to get out?
None of this was produced to Battler. Roommate or not, similar feelings or not, he wasn't planning on letting him in on anything until he knew he could trust him. Maybe he wasn't an idiot, but Riku was too cautious. Once again, he wouldn't have gotten this far by trusting everyone. People were too loud, too willing to spread information; if the Organization wanted to use any method of communication, they could have grabbed him if he wasn't careful.
Fortunately, he noted the self-confidence and realized that he wouldn't have to linger on that. So this guy Battler either was like him, and needed to look strong for the sake of others, or he was like Sora, and it came naturally. Riku figured he'd see eventually. He straightened up and did his best to look confident, putting on the best face he could manage. Really, in comparison to Battler's, it was a bit of a failure, but compared to usual, it was remarkably different.
"We're all gonna handle things," Riku told him. "Some people have been here for a while, but maybe they brought us in because they were getting cocky. We'll show them that it was a mistake." It was easier to fake confidence in front of someone who couldn't see through him, in contrast to his friends, who could read every one of his cues.
Never mind the stuff that supposedly went on at night. It had been unsettling when he'd first woke up, and still was, to a certain extent, but he'd mostly been able to accept the information he was given thus far. Of course, Rika was probably the only reason he was at this stage. Accepting some of the things he had assumed a certain premise. But monsters? Battler still wasn't really sure how he felt about that. It felt... off, in an unpleasant way. There had certainly been a lot of injured people, enough to get noticed, but the idea of something so fantastical and unreal lurking in the halls was kind of.... Of course, he had no reason to doubt any of the people he'd met thus far, either. Rather than worrying about it, he supposed he'd find out soon enough....
"I wonder what they're trying to accomplish by all this, anyway," he thought aloud, leaning back into his chair a little. "Taking people from where they belong, forcing them into this weird situation. .... It's disgusting. Nobody should be allowed to play around with human lives like that."
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He didn't have anything to add, but he glanced down uneasily. "I don't know," he confessed. "Guys like the ones here ... They've usually got something working. Breaking our spirits, making the ones we care about unable to smile-it doesn't make any sense." Those words probably revealed more about him than he'd like, but he didn't care. Riku's lips twitched down into a permanent frown. "I'm used to people playing with lives, all because they can. That's nothing new. The rest ... I just don't like it. If they have this kind of power, why are they keeping us all here?" Why do they want them to believe they weren't who they believed themselves to be? An entire mental institute didn't just fill up full of people who were delusional. The world didn't work that way.
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"... It's useless. It's all useless, isn't it," he said quietly. "I've seen something like that, myself. Killing, trampling, degrading, defiling--all out of something as petty as boredom, whatever the hell's so entertaining about that. I don't even want to try and understand such twisted hobbies....! But then, there's also been the opposite. Something sick and gruesome not because they enjoyed it, but because there was a message behind it. .... It definitely doesn't excuse anything, but intentions can change a lot about the situation."
It was the exact same argument he'd had before. The outcome of the deaths didn't matter to Beatrice, nor did the epitaph. X = Y. Y = 0. Therefore, the weights were meaningless. The answer was somewhere in that scale, somewhere in that equal sign. Here, it must have been something like that. Either they were doing it because they could, or there was actually some hidden meaning, but at this point, it was hard to tell either way.
Opposite of Riku, Battler pushed the spaghetti away and took in a mouthful of ice cream. He normally liked sweet things well enough, but somehow, it didn't taste very good. It was probably the atmosphere; they'd sure gotten into a serious conversation, right away, huh? It was to be expected, all things considered, but even if the situation was screwed up, there was no reason to treat everything so somberly. The idea of people being played around with was hardly something Battler wanted to connect on. If anything, he wished witnessing that sort of thing was limited solely to himself. Maybe there was a way to lighten the mood a little...
"Well, either way, I'm not about to sit here and let things continue like this. I need to get back, and I'll do whatever it takes. It's the same for everyone else, right?" The bitterness in his expression disappeared, replaced with complete self-confidence. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or how he was going to do it, but staying put just wasn't an option. There were too many people he just couldn't abandon.
Reply
In some cases, he knew that things like this place weren't always meant to be feared. If it had a purpose, if it had a force-the very strength of the force was not the problem. Whoever ran this place and used those nurses, that was the real problem. Riku learned that much, because while he took the darkness upon himself and let it wrap his heart up too tightly, he also knew that he hated himself more than the power. It was just that he was needing a scapegoat. King Mickey made him realize that.
But even so, Riku had a feeling he wouldn't be able to separate those things here. As Battler said, it was a gamble, but for what? Shinji had told him earlier that they made a friend of his instantly forget who he was; would it be the same for everyone else? Would their lives slip away in some victory? Was it all to see what they could do? Idly, he wondered what would happen if they faked sanity. If he walked out one day and claimed to be Adam, would the nurses have any jurisdiction behind keeping him there? Or would they need to free him from their hold, allowing him to step out? He'd have to ask his friends if they knew any cases like that. It was risky, but Riku could take on the identify if someone else in order to play along with these things. He just realized it would be difficult. If they wished to make up lives for everyone there, would they have a life for him, all to test if he could pass their quiz to get out?
None of this was produced to Battler. Roommate or not, similar feelings or not, he wasn't planning on letting him in on anything until he knew he could trust him. Maybe he wasn't an idiot, but Riku was too cautious. Once again, he wouldn't have gotten this far by trusting everyone. People were too loud, too willing to spread information; if the Organization wanted to use any method of communication, they could have grabbed him if he wasn't careful.
Fortunately, he noted the self-confidence and realized that he wouldn't have to linger on that. So this guy Battler either was like him, and needed to look strong for the sake of others, or he was like Sora, and it came naturally. Riku figured he'd see eventually. He straightened up and did his best to look confident, putting on the best face he could manage. Really, in comparison to Battler's, it was a bit of a failure, but compared to usual, it was remarkably different.
"We're all gonna handle things," Riku told him. "Some people have been here for a while, but maybe they brought us in because they were getting cocky. We'll show them that it was a mistake." It was easier to fake confidence in front of someone who couldn't see through him, in contrast to his friends, who could read every one of his cues.
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