Yet another intercom jingle sounded, and the nurses, anticipating the Head Doctor's orders, already began grouping around the patients as he began to speak
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If asked, Luke would feel a little sheepish that he looked so upset over disliking most of the food on his plate. After all, that was such a selfish thing to be worried over, and that was something he was trying to stop. That didn't change how he felt about his food, because he couldn't make himself like all the stupid foods he disliked, but it didn't change his attitude about it. Realizing it didn't change his tastes in the end.
Still, he managed to perk up somewhat at the sight of Cloud. He wondered if they should meet more in the daytime, but their dinner conversations would lose purpose. They might not be doing similar things here, but he still wanted to check on the other male.
"It's not too bad," he said, masking his true feelings about the food. No need to get Cloud caught up in what he didn't like. "Could be worse, anyway. I think they just want to keep us fat and happy, anyway." And they couldn't do that if the food was bad. Good (or vaguely decent) food just meant they had more of a reason to point out why everyone was crazy or whatever.
"During the day, maybe." Then again, there was nothing saying they had to go out at night. They might be perfectly safe just sleeping in their rooms like normal patients. But what would be the point in that? They had to escape somehow, not give in to the asylum's routine.
He still couldn't help but have fleeting thoughts about Landel chopping people up and serving them in the marinara sauce. It almost put him off eating dinner altogether, except he was pretty sure he was just being paranoid. Skipping dinner wouldn't help him keep his strength up for whatever they planned to do that night. (Though it looked like self-defense classes? He was too antsy for that.)
"So. I just ended up with more questions today. How about you?"
The question Jason produced during lunch occurred to him again-had he died when he left? Cloud's question only seemed to stir it up inside of him, and it was difficult for Luke to act okay when he recalled the man's question. Yeah, had he died? Had those bastards killed him and brought him back when it was convenient? Was ... that where Tear was? Would he be able to get her back? The immediate rush of questions in his own mind seemed to answer Cloud's question. Definitely, he thought. He definitely had more, but they all surrounded around the same idea.
"Enough of them," he replied, after a lengthy pause. Should he tell him? Would it be fair to let him know? "I ... I think I might have died here before, and that's why I wasn't around. That's probably what happens when people leave." It made more sense, anyway. Luke frowned, knowing that accepting that meant accepting Tear's death. He hated it, hated that somewhere, she might be lingering as a corpse, with them waiting to decide if they wanted to toy with her again. His fingers wrapped tight around his eating utensil, so tight that it was starting to bend. It hadn't broken yet, but a little twitching with it the right way would probably lead to that end.
"Not the news anyone wants to hear," he added. With those words, he did manage the full breaking of the fork. Oh, well, too bad-it wasn't like he was going to enjoy this anyway. Defiantly, he shoved away his food. Really, he should ask what Cloud's questions were, shouldn't he? Too late, he supposed, burning a spot into the wall. They probably couldn't find the answers for them anyway.
-Yeah, thinking like that wouldn't help. But knowing that Tear might be somewhere, dead, after everything ... He couldn't stand it.
Cloud frowned at this revelation. It made sense, certainly. There was apparently enough danger in this place for people to die on a regular basis, not that he wanted to think of that when he had certain friends stuck here with him now.
"Do you have any proof of that, or are you just speculating?" The man pushed his dinner aside, the thought of chopped up former patients in the marinara now making the thought of eating it particularly vile. He'd pull a Yuffie and stick with the ice cream for now. If she found out she could just yell at him later. "You'd think if they were dying, others would know. But you hear more about people just up and disappearing. I'm not willing to start thinking it's because they've died until there's proof for it."
"But how would we know? If they can affect our memories of before, what're the chances that we have this part figured out?" The last thing Luke wanted to be was the pessimist in this conversation, but it was something that he couldn't just dismiss. It would have been unwise, anyway, but he realized one thing: Asch probably would have been able to tell. He remembered how clearly he felt the last moments of Asch's life slipping away, how he felt that power come into him. There was a chance they could just stop it, but since his fonslots were still open to Asch, it seemed unlikely.
And it didn't seem like they made a habit of changing patient's memories while they were still there.
"I don't know, though. I just remembered that when-when someone else really important to me died, I could feel it. I think he'd probably be able to tell if the same happened to me." That was nothing more than speaking the idea out loud, as if it was laying it on the table to be dismissed. Truthfully, he was a little relieved, but he wouldn't count on it for sure. At least, for himself. Believing that Tear was alive somewhere, even if she couldn't recall that she was Tear, was more of a comfort than anything.
"He?" Luke had changed topics suddenly, or rather he'd begun talking about something out of any context other than his own mental one. "You mean that friend of yours you mentioned before?" There had been some mental connection between them, if he recalled correctly, so it would only make sense for Luke to be referring to him now. (Unless the young man had several other connections he was unaware of.)
"If you dwell on this too much it's only going to hinder you in the long run," he advised calmly. "Focus on the friends you have here now and hope for the best. There's too many unknowns to fear around here already without adding to it." Keep your friends close to you and do your best to keep them from becoming those that vanished. That was the best anyone could do right now. The entire situation was unreal, mind-breaking even. Both of them had only just arrived. It wouldn't do for them to start caving already.
"You're right." It was the best he could muster up on the spot. Cloud was right, and Luke didn't need to dwell on these things. If he could rationalize that Jason just was mistaken because Asch would know, things would be different. Asch wouldn't have become so upset over the mere suggestion that he was dead if he had died before. All of it made sense, and he just got worked up. It was probably because he had accepted dying, and did know that coming here was probably a second chance. Or a fourth chance or fifth chance, given the way things went. He wondered how many he would get.
"I just got caught up in things. Thanks, Cloud." He realized it wasn't fair to suggest this to his roommate, but he also knew he didn't want to leave any stone unturned when it came to things. Anything was possible, especially with the bastards who ran this place.
Still, he managed to perk up somewhat at the sight of Cloud. He wondered if they should meet more in the daytime, but their dinner conversations would lose purpose. They might not be doing similar things here, but he still wanted to check on the other male.
"It's not too bad," he said, masking his true feelings about the food. No need to get Cloud caught up in what he didn't like. "Could be worse, anyway. I think they just want to keep us fat and happy, anyway." And they couldn't do that if the food was bad. Good (or vaguely decent) food just meant they had more of a reason to point out why everyone was crazy or whatever.
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He still couldn't help but have fleeting thoughts about Landel chopping people up and serving them in the marinara sauce. It almost put him off eating dinner altogether, except he was pretty sure he was just being paranoid. Skipping dinner wouldn't help him keep his strength up for whatever they planned to do that night. (Though it looked like self-defense classes? He was too antsy for that.)
"So. I just ended up with more questions today. How about you?"
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"Enough of them," he replied, after a lengthy pause. Should he tell him? Would it be fair to let him know? "I ... I think I might have died here before, and that's why I wasn't around. That's probably what happens when people leave." It made more sense, anyway. Luke frowned, knowing that accepting that meant accepting Tear's death. He hated it, hated that somewhere, she might be lingering as a corpse, with them waiting to decide if they wanted to toy with her again. His fingers wrapped tight around his eating utensil, so tight that it was starting to bend. It hadn't broken yet, but a little twitching with it the right way would probably lead to that end.
"Not the news anyone wants to hear," he added. With those words, he did manage the full breaking of the fork. Oh, well, too bad-it wasn't like he was going to enjoy this anyway. Defiantly, he shoved away his food. Really, he should ask what Cloud's questions were, shouldn't he? Too late, he supposed, burning a spot into the wall. They probably couldn't find the answers for them anyway.
-Yeah, thinking like that wouldn't help. But knowing that Tear might be somewhere, dead, after everything ... He couldn't stand it.
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"Do you have any proof of that, or are you just speculating?" The man pushed his dinner aside, the thought of chopped up former patients in the marinara now making the thought of eating it particularly vile. He'd pull a Yuffie and stick with the ice cream for now. If she found out she could just yell at him later. "You'd think if they were dying, others would know. But you hear more about people just up and disappearing. I'm not willing to start thinking it's because they've died until there's proof for it."
He couldn't afford to.
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And it didn't seem like they made a habit of changing patient's memories while they were still there.
"I don't know, though. I just remembered that when-when someone else really important to me died, I could feel it. I think he'd probably be able to tell if the same happened to me." That was nothing more than speaking the idea out loud, as if it was laying it on the table to be dismissed. Truthfully, he was a little relieved, but he wouldn't count on it for sure. At least, for himself. Believing that Tear was alive somewhere, even if she couldn't recall that she was Tear, was more of a comfort than anything.
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"If you dwell on this too much it's only going to hinder you in the long run," he advised calmly. "Focus on the friends you have here now and hope for the best. There's too many unknowns to fear around here already without adding to it." Keep your friends close to you and do your best to keep them from becoming those that vanished. That was the best anyone could do right now. The entire situation was unreal, mind-breaking even. Both of them had only just arrived. It wouldn't do for them to start caving already.
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"I just got caught up in things. Thanks, Cloud." He realized it wasn't fair to suggest this to his roommate, but he also knew he didn't want to leave any stone unturned when it came to things. Anything was possible, especially with the bastards who ran this place.
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