Yet another intercom jingle sounded, and the nurses, anticipating the Head Doctor's orders, already began grouping around the patients as he began to speak
( Read more... )
Meeting up with new people was a little frustrating. It wasn't like he held the social graces to manage these situations, and he felt frustrated at the thought that he would have to keep doing this. Riku just hoped that things would change once he settled in. It seemed unlikely that Sora wouldn't have a group of people to talk to, and he liked the idea that he might be able to find things out that way (the club being the first sign of this). His method of handling things involved being discrete. Being discrete in a place full of people trying to get out, though? Yeah, he figured that one would be impossible.
But really, the talk with Tsukasa could've been worse. He knew that his friends being there changed his attitude a lot, making it possible for his typical attitude to shine through. Cocky, self-assured, just like he had the world in his hands. Riku knew he wasn't that kid anymore (hadn't been for some time), but he wished he could hold on to it. His life would probably be a lot easier if he managed it, anyway. Nothing here really showed him that. Even if the other guys he met weren't the best at this, he certainly wasn't anything impressive. Funny, but then, it was fitting. What did he have to brag about, anyway? Especially in a place like this.
All things come to an end, though. Riku left with the same nurse who hounded him all day, but his obedience seemed to have earned him the chance to be kept separate from her. His feet shuffled slowly over the door, pale-green eyes taking in the unfamiliar surroundings as if to memorize them. It wouldn't be an easy task right off, but he did his best. Remembering Sora and Kairi's directions from earlier. The stairs. They were right about it being a good, neutral place to meet, anyway. If they were going to be moving around at night, he imagined there was no better place to do things. The rest of the way was much of the same, with Riku imagining what it would be like to explore this place at night. None if it would be the same, but he still thought to be prepared. It wasn't like he would let Sora's experience put him too far ahead; Riku always loved a healthy competition, anyway, and it would distract him from his weaknesses.
Finally, the nurse reached the room and directed him inside. It was only in those last moments that her arms gripped his arm firmly, as if it was a warning, before he was ushered inside to his room. He thought to ask her something, maybe see if she had anything to say, but what would she tell to someone she thought was crazy? And, he thought idly, would he meet up with her again when she was a monster? Riku figured it would be impossible to tell.
Separating his mind from the thoughts of the nurse, Riku immediately set out to exploring the room thoroughly. He overlooked the food, which sat on two sides of the room in a manner that was just as described, and started poking around other crevices. A bed, nothing underneath it, a flashlight under his pillow. That part was interesting, he decided. The journal, radio, pencils, batteries, and the clothing in his closet were all far from interesting themselves. He didn't think any of them were worth any note, so he decided not to bother with them.
What did bother him was how colorless this place was. Outside, among the halls with the other individuals captured there, it seemed like there was a splash of color where necessary. Not too much, but enough to make Riku feel like the entire place wasn't overly boring. Their rooms were different. White, white, white, with no contrast. No open windows to welcome in the sound of the water in the distance, no way of putting up posters-it was all pretty lame. He imagined this was what it was like for the Organization members, but did Nobodies care if their decorating scheme was terrible? They didn't have it in them to care, right? The guys here seemed to have a little more drive behind their activities; if they were seeking a heart, they were doing it the wrong way. No, it had to be something else.
Riku's fingers pressed idly against a wall, before he slapped a palm against it. Truthfully, he would have preferred punching it, but that would hurt him in the wake of the evening. No healing spells to patch him up right now, anyway. He heaved a frustrated sigh, turning away from the wall toward his food again. Knowing who gave it to him, he didn't feel hungry, but it beat staring at the ceiling until the lights dimmed. He picked up the tray with one hand and moved to his bed, where the flashlight had been left in the center for him to reach.
Picking at his food, he wondered who else would arrive. Wishful thinking made him want it to be Sora, because then he'd actually be able to keep a better eye on one of his two friends (logic told him there was a fat chance girls shared with guys). Either way, he imagined it would be just as needlessly awkward as his earlier conversations. Great, just great. Well, he'd deal. Whatever guy he was living with, at least he'd have a shot at an ally-and he'd probably be able to get used to Riku before long.
An idealistic approach from a mostly pessimistic person, but he had to approach it that way. Better than nothing, and at least they would probably all have a common goal: getting out of this place.
.... What a long day. As if waking up here wasn't bad enough, there were too many questions, too little answers, and not even just about this place. Battler couldn't quite shake the uneasy feeling he'd gotten since he'd first talked to Rika that morning. ... There were other games out there besides the one he'd gotten trapped in. At least she'd said she was able to end everything, but now she was here? That was just.... As if the cruelty of losing people wasn't enough, the final result, too, was lost. At least he'd been able to ask to see her again. ... He wanted to know. That last answer, how she got there. It probably wouldn't help him at all, but it was human nature to be drawn to the familiar. Even if they couldn't help each other, they could still understand each other. That was the feeling he got.
That meeting with Ange, too... Ahhh, he didn't want to think about it, or even acknowledge it. If there was only a way to conveniently deny that had even happened.... but it had, and there was no changing that. Uselessly denying the reality in front of him wasn't going to accomplish anything. In the end, he'd just have to work his way around it. If he wasn't allowed to acknowledge Ange as his sister, then he was allowed to call "Greta" his friend, right? Not every meeting had to be painful just because of that rule. They'd be able to talk together all the same. At least, that was what Battler was telling himself. Whether it would work out that way, who knew. Even so, he wasn't about to just sit around and do nothing.
And Beato was here, too... That really shouldn't have been possible, thanks to Lambdadelta. Neither of them should have been able to escape without a complete checkmate, thanks to that new rule, yet, here they both were. It made him uneasy, thinking about what that meant. Beatrice was perfectly fine, too, at least enough to write for herself. It almost felt like a lie, but hadn't he seen that same handwriting several times before? It was strange to think that she was able to walk around and write on her own now, after seeing her so weak that she couldn't even hold her own teacup to her lips. She'd felt a little cold, and like she could crumble away at any moment... He wondered what he was supposed to say, after putting her through all that. And beyond that, her presence here alone created about a thousand questions. There would be a change to answer them later, at least, though he was a little frustrated that that they'd both just narrowly missed each other enough times to put a few notes on the bulletin.
Battler was glad to be dragged away for dinner, ready to eat, but even more ready for the meeting that was to follow. If there would be anyone who knew how to get back, it was Beato, wasn't it?
"Do try to get along with your roommate, okay Henry?" the nurse told him as she opened the door. Roommates, huh? Come to think of it, there had been two beds this morning. Not that it bothered him; anyone trying to get the hell out of here was an ally as far as Battler was concerned, and it would've been kind of weird to eat alone in dead silence. He slipped into the room, the nurse closing it behind him, door locking with a 'click.' The guy he was supposed to be rooming with looked somewhere in his own age range, maybe slightly younger.
"Hey there. My name's Battler. Guess we'll be stuck together for a while, huh?" He greeted, trying to be friendly. He decided to eat dinner at the desk on his side of the room--getting spaghetti in his bed didn't sound all that appealing, somehow.
Though it hadn't been the best method, Riku decided to abandon the spaghetti immediately in favor of the ice cream. There were no parents-or Kings or men named Ansem-there to scold him for it. For some people his age, that would be a small victory, but it annoyed him. He could imagine his mom's voice as he dug into the ice cream right before him instead of the noodles, and some part of him wanted to defy the voice. Missing his parents, his home ... It was something he tried not to do when he was out helping the sleeping Sora, or even the awake Sora, but things were different now. He had gone home. That single day with its taste of the water had been enough to make him want it.
And even more, he wanted it with his friends.
So, it was with that spoonful of ice cream in his mouth that Battler found him and greeted him. He pulled it out and held the utensil in his hand while he sized the other guy up. It was difficult tell in these ridiculous gray articles of clothing whether Battler was a fighter or not, but he was definitely around his age. Probably older, but Riku's judgment was a little skewed given the appearance of Sora. Next to his shrimpy friend, almost everyone looked older.
"Guess so," Riku returned, the taste of ice cream still lingering in his mouth. "I'm Riku." Right, he should probably come up with something else, huh? Yeah, nothing was coming to him, so he figured he would let Battler come up with something first. Maybe this guy was a better conversationalist than him.
Staring with the dessert, huh? That was a sentiment that Battler could understand. When he was a kid, he might have pulled stuff like trying to eat cake for a meal, but that particular bit of rebelliousness faded with age. Besides, there always still seemed to be room for dessert not matter how stuffed you felt.
"Been here long?" he asked. "I just got here around breakfast, and it already sucks, ihihi."
He ate a forkful of spaghetti as he listened for the answer. "...Not bad," he commented to himself. It was a bit better than what he'd been expecting to be honest. It was hardly on the level of Gohda, but not everyone got to experience food on that professional a scale. Rather, it was sort of like something you might find at family restaurant. Not the best, but certainly not horrible either.
"Yeah? Did you have a problem with a nurse?" Social awkwardness aside, it was really the nurses that bothered him the most. Or rather, it was in the singular. One single nurse, who stalked him around for the entirety of the day. Having to play nice and talk to other people had been bad enough, but he had it pretty easy. Tsukasa wasn't bad and Shinji was a little too nervous for his tastes, but Naminé, Sora, and Kairi were welcomed additions to his day (regardless of the setting).
As it was, he wasn't planning on letting this guy know how he felt about anything. Living together for a meal of the day and probably a few hours of sleep didn't mean that he needed to tell him everything. An ally wouldn't be bad, but "this place already sucks" wasn't exactly putting Riku's faith into him. But then, he probably had too high of standards for most people. He was just glad he didn't seem nervous or uneasy. Riku wasn't sure he could handle another guy like that.
"Mm, something like that," Battler shrugged. "I mean, it's weird, isn't it? Getting told your experiences are lies. It's not like I'm about to believe that crap, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant."
Never mind the stuff that supposedly went on at night. It had been unsettling when he'd first woke up, and still was, to a certain extent, but he'd mostly been able to accept the information he was given thus far. Of course, Rika was probably the only reason he was at this stage. Accepting some of the things he had assumed a certain premise. But monsters? Battler still wasn't really sure how he felt about that. It felt... off, in an unpleasant way. There had certainly been a lot of injured people, enough to get noticed, but the idea of something so fantastical and unreal lurking in the halls was kind of.... Of course, he had no reason to doubt any of the people he'd met thus far, either. Rather than worrying about it, he supposed he'd find out soon enough....
"I wonder what they're trying to accomplish by all this, anyway," he thought aloud, leaning back into his chair a little. "Taking people from where they belong, forcing them into this weird situation. .... It's disgusting. Nobody should be allowed to play around with human lives like that."
That caught his attention enough. It was a shift from the norm, and it meant that this guy had a brain working after all. Riku finished off his ice cream by time he was able to think about responding, and had dug his fork into his spaghetti, though he hadn't started eating it. What were they doing? Maleficent had a purpose behind what she did, and Xehanort's Heartless did, too. Organization XIII wanted to be whole again-or that was what they told people. Even now, Riku had his doubts about it. Xemnas' speeches didn't indicate that getting their hearts was his only purpose, and Ansem the Wise's grudge wasn't entirely unfounded. At least, against some of them. Roxas and Naminé were never included.
He didn't have anything to add, but he glanced down uneasily. "I don't know," he confessed. "Guys like the ones here ... They've usually got something working. Breaking our spirits, making the ones we care about unable to smile-it doesn't make any sense." Those words probably revealed more about him than he'd like, but he didn't care. Riku's lips twitched down into a permanent frown. "I'm used to people playing with lives, all because they can. That's nothing new. The rest ... I just don't like it. If they have this kind of power, why are they keeping us all here?" Why do they want them to believe they weren't who they believed themselves to be? An entire mental institute didn't just fill up full of people who were delusional. The world didn't work that way.
Breaking spirits, hurting loved ones... Yeah, that sounded pretty familiar, both from before, and even now, and he found himself smiling bitterly. Why did Ange have to be here, and why like this...? Battler had no intention of letting it break him down, but the details of that meeting still weighed heavily on him. He kept trying to reassure himself, but in the end, he wasn't the one who getting screwed by this; it was her. Because of that, no matter how optimistic he tried to make himself about it, he kept wavering, and uncertainty would come crawling back. It wasn't his rule that she would die, but when it came to her situation, he was more than to blame. ... If her family had just come home that day, then maybe she could actually be happy. But they couldn't. Not when they were still trapped in a that game.
"... It's useless. It's all useless, isn't it," he said quietly. "I've seen something like that, myself. Killing, trampling, degrading, defiling--all out of something as petty as boredom, whatever the hell's so entertaining about that. I don't even want to try and understand such twisted hobbies....! But then, there's also been the opposite. Something sick and gruesome not because they enjoyed it, but because there was a message behind it. .... It definitely doesn't excuse anything, but intentions can change a lot about the situation."
It was the exact same argument he'd had before. The outcome of the deaths didn't matter to Beatrice, nor did the epitaph. X = Y. Y = 0. Therefore, the weights were meaningless. The answer was somewhere in that scale, somewhere in that equal sign. Here, it must have been something like that. Either they were doing it because they could, or there was actually some hidden meaning, but at this point, it was hard to tell either way.
Opposite of Riku, Battler pushed the spaghetti away and took in a mouthful of ice cream. He normally liked sweet things well enough, but somehow, it didn't taste very good. It was probably the atmosphere; they'd sure gotten into a serious conversation, right away, huh? It was to be expected, all things considered, but even if the situation was screwed up, there was no reason to treat everything so somberly. The idea of people being played around with was hardly something Battler wanted to connect on. If anything, he wished witnessing that sort of thing was limited solely to himself. Maybe there was a way to lighten the mood a little...
"Well, either way, I'm not about to sit here and let things continue like this. I need to get back, and I'll do whatever it takes. It's the same for everyone else, right?" The bitterness in his expression disappeared, replaced with complete self-confidence. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or how he was going to do it, but staying put just wasn't an option. There were too many people he just couldn't abandon.
Wallowing in what they couldn't do was something Riku was a little more used to. Thinking of the darkness and his failures with it, he still felt the black blindfold wrapped around his eyes, keeping the truth from being revealed to other people. His eyes couldn't lie, so even if he took care of people, he knew that in his heart, they would always be the same. But while he wore the blindfold, he knew what he missed beyond the smell of his friend, and the feel of the all-too-familiar terrains. He missed so much about people-their smiles and their ways of carrying themselves-that he had a hard time picking up on cues now that his eyes were wide open, and his darkness was relatively stripped from him. Still, he knew he would normally have its strength on his side, but it was different.
In some cases, he knew that things like this place weren't always meant to be feared. If it had a purpose, if it had a force-the very strength of the force was not the problem. Whoever ran this place and used those nurses, that was the real problem. Riku learned that much, because while he took the darkness upon himself and let it wrap his heart up too tightly, he also knew that he hated himself more than the power. It was just that he was needing a scapegoat. King Mickey made him realize that.
But even so, Riku had a feeling he wouldn't be able to separate those things here. As Battler said, it was a gamble, but for what? Shinji had told him earlier that they made a friend of his instantly forget who he was; would it be the same for everyone else? Would their lives slip away in some victory? Was it all to see what they could do? Idly, he wondered what would happen if they faked sanity. If he walked out one day and claimed to be Adam, would the nurses have any jurisdiction behind keeping him there? Or would they need to free him from their hold, allowing him to step out? He'd have to ask his friends if they knew any cases like that. It was risky, but Riku could take on the identify if someone else in order to play along with these things. He just realized it would be difficult. If they wished to make up lives for everyone there, would they have a life for him, all to test if he could pass their quiz to get out?
None of this was produced to Battler. Roommate or not, similar feelings or not, he wasn't planning on letting him in on anything until he knew he could trust him. Maybe he wasn't an idiot, but Riku was too cautious. Once again, he wouldn't have gotten this far by trusting everyone. People were too loud, too willing to spread information; if the Organization wanted to use any method of communication, they could have grabbed him if he wasn't careful.
Fortunately, he noted the self-confidence and realized that he wouldn't have to linger on that. So this guy Battler either was like him, and needed to look strong for the sake of others, or he was like Sora, and it came naturally. Riku figured he'd see eventually. He straightened up and did his best to look confident, putting on the best face he could manage. Really, in comparison to Battler's, it was a bit of a failure, but compared to usual, it was remarkably different.
"We're all gonna handle things," Riku told him. "Some people have been here for a while, but maybe they brought us in because they were getting cocky. We'll show them that it was a mistake." It was easier to fake confidence in front of someone who couldn't see through him, in contrast to his friends, who could read every one of his cues.
But really, the talk with Tsukasa could've been worse. He knew that his friends being there changed his attitude a lot, making it possible for his typical attitude to shine through. Cocky, self-assured, just like he had the world in his hands. Riku knew he wasn't that kid anymore (hadn't been for some time), but he wished he could hold on to it. His life would probably be a lot easier if he managed it, anyway. Nothing here really showed him that. Even if the other guys he met weren't the best at this, he certainly wasn't anything impressive. Funny, but then, it was fitting. What did he have to brag about, anyway? Especially in a place like this.
All things come to an end, though. Riku left with the same nurse who hounded him all day, but his obedience seemed to have earned him the chance to be kept separate from her. His feet shuffled slowly over the door, pale-green eyes taking in the unfamiliar surroundings as if to memorize them. It wouldn't be an easy task right off, but he did his best. Remembering Sora and Kairi's directions from earlier. The stairs. They were right about it being a good, neutral place to meet, anyway. If they were going to be moving around at night, he imagined there was no better place to do things. The rest of the way was much of the same, with Riku imagining what it would be like to explore this place at night. None if it would be the same, but he still thought to be prepared. It wasn't like he would let Sora's experience put him too far ahead; Riku always loved a healthy competition, anyway, and it would distract him from his weaknesses.
Finally, the nurse reached the room and directed him inside. It was only in those last moments that her arms gripped his arm firmly, as if it was a warning, before he was ushered inside to his room. He thought to ask her something, maybe see if she had anything to say, but what would she tell to someone she thought was crazy? And, he thought idly, would he meet up with her again when she was a monster? Riku figured it would be impossible to tell.
Separating his mind from the thoughts of the nurse, Riku immediately set out to exploring the room thoroughly. He overlooked the food, which sat on two sides of the room in a manner that was just as described, and started poking around other crevices. A bed, nothing underneath it, a flashlight under his pillow. That part was interesting, he decided. The journal, radio, pencils, batteries, and the clothing in his closet were all far from interesting themselves. He didn't think any of them were worth any note, so he decided not to bother with them.
What did bother him was how colorless this place was. Outside, among the halls with the other individuals captured there, it seemed like there was a splash of color where necessary. Not too much, but enough to make Riku feel like the entire place wasn't overly boring. Their rooms were different. White, white, white, with no contrast. No open windows to welcome in the sound of the water in the distance, no way of putting up posters-it was all pretty lame. He imagined this was what it was like for the Organization members, but did Nobodies care if their decorating scheme was terrible? They didn't have it in them to care, right? The guys here seemed to have a little more drive behind their activities; if they were seeking a heart, they were doing it the wrong way. No, it had to be something else.
Reply
Picking at his food, he wondered who else would arrive. Wishful thinking made him want it to be Sora, because then he'd actually be able to keep a better eye on one of his two friends (logic told him there was a fat chance girls shared with guys). Either way, he imagined it would be just as needlessly awkward as his earlier conversations. Great, just great. Well, he'd deal. Whatever guy he was living with, at least he'd have a shot at an ally-and he'd probably be able to get used to Riku before long.
An idealistic approach from a mostly pessimistic person, but he had to approach it that way. Better than nothing, and at least they would probably all have a common goal: getting out of this place.
Reply
That meeting with Ange, too... Ahhh, he didn't want to think about it, or even acknowledge it. If there was only a way to conveniently deny that had even happened.... but it had, and there was no changing that. Uselessly denying the reality in front of him wasn't going to accomplish anything. In the end, he'd just have to work his way around it. If he wasn't allowed to acknowledge Ange as his sister, then he was allowed to call "Greta" his friend, right? Not every meeting had to be painful just because of that rule. They'd be able to talk together all the same. At least, that was what Battler was telling himself. Whether it would work out that way, who knew. Even so, he wasn't about to just sit around and do nothing.
And Beato was here, too... That really shouldn't have been possible, thanks to Lambdadelta. Neither of them should have been able to escape without a complete checkmate, thanks to that new rule, yet, here they both were. It made him uneasy, thinking about what that meant. Beatrice was perfectly fine, too, at least enough to write for herself. It almost felt like a lie, but hadn't he seen that same handwriting several times before? It was strange to think that she was able to walk around and write on her own now, after seeing her so weak that she couldn't even hold her own teacup to her lips. She'd felt a little cold, and like she could crumble away at any moment... He wondered what he was supposed to say, after putting her through all that. And beyond that, her presence here alone created about a thousand questions. There would be a change to answer them later, at least, though he was a little frustrated that that they'd both just narrowly missed each other enough times to put a few notes on the bulletin.
Battler was glad to be dragged away for dinner, ready to eat, but even more ready for the meeting that was to follow. If there would be anyone who knew how to get back, it was Beato, wasn't it?
"Do try to get along with your roommate, okay Henry?" the nurse told him as she opened the door. Roommates, huh? Come to think of it, there had been two beds this morning. Not that it bothered him; anyone trying to get the hell out of here was an ally as far as Battler was concerned, and it would've been kind of weird to eat alone in dead silence. He slipped into the room, the nurse closing it behind him, door locking with a 'click.' The guy he was supposed to be rooming with looked somewhere in his own age range, maybe slightly younger.
"Hey there. My name's Battler. Guess we'll be stuck together for a while, huh?" He greeted, trying to be friendly. He decided to eat dinner at the desk on his side of the room--getting spaghetti in his bed didn't sound all that appealing, somehow.
Reply
And even more, he wanted it with his friends.
So, it was with that spoonful of ice cream in his mouth that Battler found him and greeted him. He pulled it out and held the utensil in his hand while he sized the other guy up. It was difficult tell in these ridiculous gray articles of clothing whether Battler was a fighter or not, but he was definitely around his age. Probably older, but Riku's judgment was a little skewed given the appearance of Sora. Next to his shrimpy friend, almost everyone looked older.
"Guess so," Riku returned, the taste of ice cream still lingering in his mouth. "I'm Riku." Right, he should probably come up with something else, huh? Yeah, nothing was coming to him, so he figured he would let Battler come up with something first. Maybe this guy was a better conversationalist than him.
Reply
"Been here long?" he asked. "I just got here around breakfast, and it already sucks, ihihi."
He ate a forkful of spaghetti as he listened for the answer. "...Not bad," he commented to himself. It was a bit better than what he'd been expecting to be honest. It was hardly on the level of Gohda, but not everyone got to experience food on that professional a scale. Rather, it was sort of like something you might find at family restaurant. Not the best, but certainly not horrible either.
Reply
As it was, he wasn't planning on letting this guy know how he felt about anything. Living together for a meal of the day and probably a few hours of sleep didn't mean that he needed to tell him everything. An ally wouldn't be bad, but "this place already sucks" wasn't exactly putting Riku's faith into him. But then, he probably had too high of standards for most people. He was just glad he didn't seem nervous or uneasy. Riku wasn't sure he could handle another guy like that.
Reply
Never mind the stuff that supposedly went on at night. It had been unsettling when he'd first woke up, and still was, to a certain extent, but he'd mostly been able to accept the information he was given thus far. Of course, Rika was probably the only reason he was at this stage. Accepting some of the things he had assumed a certain premise. But monsters? Battler still wasn't really sure how he felt about that. It felt... off, in an unpleasant way. There had certainly been a lot of injured people, enough to get noticed, but the idea of something so fantastical and unreal lurking in the halls was kind of.... Of course, he had no reason to doubt any of the people he'd met thus far, either. Rather than worrying about it, he supposed he'd find out soon enough....
"I wonder what they're trying to accomplish by all this, anyway," he thought aloud, leaning back into his chair a little. "Taking people from where they belong, forcing them into this weird situation. .... It's disgusting. Nobody should be allowed to play around with human lives like that."
Reply
He didn't have anything to add, but he glanced down uneasily. "I don't know," he confessed. "Guys like the ones here ... They've usually got something working. Breaking our spirits, making the ones we care about unable to smile-it doesn't make any sense." Those words probably revealed more about him than he'd like, but he didn't care. Riku's lips twitched down into a permanent frown. "I'm used to people playing with lives, all because they can. That's nothing new. The rest ... I just don't like it. If they have this kind of power, why are they keeping us all here?" Why do they want them to believe they weren't who they believed themselves to be? An entire mental institute didn't just fill up full of people who were delusional. The world didn't work that way.
Reply
"... It's useless. It's all useless, isn't it," he said quietly. "I've seen something like that, myself. Killing, trampling, degrading, defiling--all out of something as petty as boredom, whatever the hell's so entertaining about that. I don't even want to try and understand such twisted hobbies....! But then, there's also been the opposite. Something sick and gruesome not because they enjoyed it, but because there was a message behind it. .... It definitely doesn't excuse anything, but intentions can change a lot about the situation."
It was the exact same argument he'd had before. The outcome of the deaths didn't matter to Beatrice, nor did the epitaph. X = Y. Y = 0. Therefore, the weights were meaningless. The answer was somewhere in that scale, somewhere in that equal sign. Here, it must have been something like that. Either they were doing it because they could, or there was actually some hidden meaning, but at this point, it was hard to tell either way.
Opposite of Riku, Battler pushed the spaghetti away and took in a mouthful of ice cream. He normally liked sweet things well enough, but somehow, it didn't taste very good. It was probably the atmosphere; they'd sure gotten into a serious conversation, right away, huh? It was to be expected, all things considered, but even if the situation was screwed up, there was no reason to treat everything so somberly. The idea of people being played around with was hardly something Battler wanted to connect on. If anything, he wished witnessing that sort of thing was limited solely to himself. Maybe there was a way to lighten the mood a little...
"Well, either way, I'm not about to sit here and let things continue like this. I need to get back, and I'll do whatever it takes. It's the same for everyone else, right?" The bitterness in his expression disappeared, replaced with complete self-confidence. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or how he was going to do it, but staying put just wasn't an option. There were too many people he just couldn't abandon.
Reply
In some cases, he knew that things like this place weren't always meant to be feared. If it had a purpose, if it had a force-the very strength of the force was not the problem. Whoever ran this place and used those nurses, that was the real problem. Riku learned that much, because while he took the darkness upon himself and let it wrap his heart up too tightly, he also knew that he hated himself more than the power. It was just that he was needing a scapegoat. King Mickey made him realize that.
But even so, Riku had a feeling he wouldn't be able to separate those things here. As Battler said, it was a gamble, but for what? Shinji had told him earlier that they made a friend of his instantly forget who he was; would it be the same for everyone else? Would their lives slip away in some victory? Was it all to see what they could do? Idly, he wondered what would happen if they faked sanity. If he walked out one day and claimed to be Adam, would the nurses have any jurisdiction behind keeping him there? Or would they need to free him from their hold, allowing him to step out? He'd have to ask his friends if they knew any cases like that. It was risky, but Riku could take on the identify if someone else in order to play along with these things. He just realized it would be difficult. If they wished to make up lives for everyone there, would they have a life for him, all to test if he could pass their quiz to get out?
None of this was produced to Battler. Roommate or not, similar feelings or not, he wasn't planning on letting him in on anything until he knew he could trust him. Maybe he wasn't an idiot, but Riku was too cautious. Once again, he wouldn't have gotten this far by trusting everyone. People were too loud, too willing to spread information; if the Organization wanted to use any method of communication, they could have grabbed him if he wasn't careful.
Fortunately, he noted the self-confidence and realized that he wouldn't have to linger on that. So this guy Battler either was like him, and needed to look strong for the sake of others, or he was like Sora, and it came naturally. Riku figured he'd see eventually. He straightened up and did his best to look confident, putting on the best face he could manage. Really, in comparison to Battler's, it was a bit of a failure, but compared to usual, it was remarkably different.
"We're all gonna handle things," Riku told him. "Some people have been here for a while, but maybe they brought us in because they were getting cocky. We'll show them that it was a mistake." It was easier to fake confidence in front of someone who couldn't see through him, in contrast to his friends, who could read every one of his cues.
Reply
Leave a comment