Nightshift 46: M11-M20 Hallway

[notthistrain]

Once again the doors had opened. Cloud believed most of what Yuffie had told him, but it was still unreal the way this place operated. They were clearly being tested, mocked, or both with the nightly routine, yet they didn't have many other options but to take the chances they were given

Comments

[M12's doorway?]

[feartehreaper]

"Endrance," Haseo said by way of greeting, relieved when the door opened without further fretting on his part. Though... what in the world was up with that surprised look? The Adept Rogue shifted to reflect a perplexed challenge, spine straightening as he silently stared back- what?

Which of course lead him to noticing more consciously that Endrance was wearing his PC's outfit again, which seemed no less strange than it had the previous night. Why would the staff bother to allow that, when they made such a deal of denying the night-time change? Then again, Haseo was keeping a sword and a knife in his closet during the day, so... whatever.

He finally relaxed slightly when he was prompted to enter, but a split second later he suddenly hesitated. He's going to lure me inside and kiss me again! he thought with unusually striking clarity... and enough melodrama to make him wonder what exactly had gone and misfired in his brain- it wasn't like he was a little girl or something, after all. Come on, 'Haseo.' You need to figure this out! came the subsequent, notably more exasperated thought.

"You first," he said seriously, and moved close enough to show he meant it. As thin as they both were, it seemed a bit counter-productive to try getting inside with Endrance still in the doorway anyway.

[Now inside M12.]

[oftemptation]

"Right...of course," Endrance answered, turning and entering the room. He proceeded to take a seat on his bed, fidgeting with the hem of the white part of his outfit. "I was just about to leave to go and find you. I didn't mean to worry you." He turned away, trying to hide the awkward flush on his face. While it was a little flattering, it was more awkward than anything else, and only added to how awkward the whole thing was.

"...A-about last night...I realize that I got a bit..." The floor suddenly looked incredibly interesting, and Endrance stared down at it for a few moments, trying to collect his thoughts. They all revolved around one point: 'if I went too far, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...because...I know I'm not the person I should be. I know that, and I'm content with that.'

He swallowed hard, finally deciding that just saying it would be best. Endrance still couldn't look at Haseo, though.

"I...I got carried away. I simply started talking without thinking...and I...I think I went too far. I'm not the person that I should be. Not yet...but...I want to be. I'd be content to simply walk by your side, and try and...be that person. One day..."

[M12.]

[feartehreaper]

Haseo's eyes followed Endrance as he closed the door behind him and leaned there quietly. He was both relieved and dismayed that Endrance was jumping right to the issue, though really it probably shouldn't have surprised him- he guessed that neither of them were really ones to dance around with small talk anyway.

The full admission, however, did manage to catch him off-guard. "Enough..." he said after a moment, frowning and studying the blade Leon had made him- whose twin was currently in the possession of the young man pouring his heart out yet again in front of him. It seemed easy to forget that, despite everything packed into just the last few days, the premature end to Endrance's memories from back home practically made him a different person. Not much, but enough.

It hurt. Haseo felt like he'd been hit in the chest and didn't know how to respond, despite his request implying he had something to say. Everything that came to mind seemed wrong... he couldn't really disagree with what Endrance was saying, after all.

"You've said that kind of thing to me before, Endrance," he finally settled on, looking up with a level of discomfort in his demeanor. "And you know, I think you should think of yourself too- not just because... because of me." With that, Haseo's mind wandered irreversibly down the path towards the place's kidnapping of him, and though he remained still he seemed to grow more agitated by the moment.

"It's my mistake anyway," he said, voice tense, "I shouldn't have-- I mean, I'm not perfect either. I shouldn't take advantage of what others want to solve my own problems."

Re: [M12.]

[oftemptation]

Endrance did stop, and then waited, still unable to look Haseo in the eye. Inwardly, he sensed that what he had said had been painful. It had hurt to say it, but...hurting Haseo was unforgivable in his own eyes. He folded his arms over his chest, hugging himself a bit. It was tempting to take it back, but...he couldn't. It was the truth, painful as it was.

"I...I have? And...when I think of myself, I think...I think I'm weak. I..." He trailed off again, losing himself in thought. I want to improve myself. But I don't think I can do it for myself. I need someone there...someone to strive for. I know that makes me weak, but...

"You're stronger than I am, Haseo...and while you say you're not perfect, it's not so in my eyes. I wish I had your strength. And I don't think you did take advantage of me. I...I was the one that ranted on nonsensically. I was the one that..."

Re: [M12.]

[feartehreaper]

Haseo stared, brow furrowed and frustrated, though he wasn't sure himself if he was angry or embarrassed or afraid or what. But his hands felt weird where they met the surfaces of the things he'd brought with him, and looking down at them he could tell that if they kept arguing whose fault it was, they'd be there until that arbitrary end to the night came along. Once more they would have wasted what little time they had without such strict supervision.

"Damn it Endrance, you're not weak." Stepping forward, he grabbed a chair away from the desk and dragged it a few feet closer to where the Blade Brandier was sitting. He desperately tried to initiate some sort of eye contact as he sank into it sideways, one arm hanging over and onto its back.

"If you think about it, nobody here knows who we really are... nobody knows Kaoru. Or... Ryou." He thought back to his conversation with Alkaid at lunch. Chika, who liked instant ramen and competition and who knew what else. It was weird to think that he knew so little about the people he would have called his best friends... thinking on it now, he realized the girl had a point. "But don't you get it? If you're willing to do something about what makes you weak, then that's what makes you stronger."

Re: [M12.]

[oftemptation]

It was then that Endrance tilted his head to the side again, finally meeting Haseo's eyes. Something still felt strange, but...better than it had been a moment ago, somehow. He still wasn't sure if what he was feeling was all self-loathing or whether there was some kind of frustration or anger or anything else mixed in, but whatever it was, the tight feeling in his chest was beginning to ease. It was a little easier to breathe, to move, to...

He reached out instinctively, trying to find Haseo's hand, then drew back into himself, suddenly unsure if that touch would spark anything. It wasn't that he wouldn't want it, but that was sending a strange mixed message.

"That much...is true. I've only rarely told anyone that name...no one does know Kaoru. Or Ryou..." Kaoru, who hardly ever leaves his bedroom, who grew too dependent on illusion and falsehood. Has this place changed me, then? Has it made me stronger, despite how hellish it is? I...

"I do want to change that. So...thank you."

Re: [M12.]

[feartehreaper]

Haseo nodded vaguely and finally looked away, the line of his thoughts making his face seem a little hotter than he would have liked. In exasperation, it came to his attention that it was kind of annoying how every single room here had to look alike. It would have been easy enough to imagine this was his own, if Endrance had had the same habit of trashing his side during dinner as him.

"I told Kuhn that we'd go and meet up with him," he said, straightening, "If we keep him waiting too long, he might think something's happened to us." The Adept Rogue rose from the chair then, hoping the brighter color that surely showed across his face was going mostly unnoticed. Probably not. The mood was caught in a weird place, and Haseo was caught on both that and... how much he hated this awful situation they'd all been forced into.

He hesitated for several beats, torn, then with a barely-audible sigh, leaned over slightly in front of Endrance, reaching out to put a hand on the other's shoulder. The awareness of the risk he was taking seemed to burn in his chest, but by that point he was determined not to care. "Hey. Alright?"

Re: [M12.]

[oftemptation]

[keywoooooords.]

Endrance nodded once, noticing how flushed Haseo's face was. He was sure his own was close to the same color, with how hard he had been blushing. It was still...a little weird, with the mood so strained, but...things were a little bit better.

"All right...yes, we probably shouldn't keep him waiting too long..." The Blade Brandier paused, then, feeling the warmth of the Rogue's hand on his shoulder, and that made him blink in surprise, and...relief, at the same time.

He reached out shyly, asking even as he brushed a stray piece of hair from Haseo's eyes: "May I...? If...if it's all right...and. Yes. Of course..."

Re: [M12.]

[feartehreaper]

"If you... what?" Haseo asked, vaguely flustered. He suddenly found himself with a sense of hazy déjà vu, and for a moment he hesitated with an odd expression approaching sadness on his face. He couldn't help but think that he'd somehow gotten himself destined for walking into situations of increasing complication.

In the end, he still didn't quite know what to make of affection expressed quite like that, even if Endrance was well-meaning, and especially with his feelings on the matter confusing him far more than he found pleasant. At least he somehow managed to avoid further embarrassment even as his mind fled elsewhere. As unideal as it sounded even to him, he still couldn't argue himself out of making the best of what he had.

"I... don't mind. I guess," he admitted, at last realizing that what Endrance was doing was probably all he'd meant. That, however, did embarrass him, and he straightened as he cleared his throat, trying desperately to collect the pieces of his regular demeanor back together. "Right... come on, then."

Re: [M12.]

[oftemptation]

"R-right." There was something a little sad in Endrance's expression for a moment, but he put that out of his mind as he straightened and walked towards his closet. A moment later, he returned, putting the short sword on the bed and showing Haseo the pipe in his free hand.

"Take that...you're used to fighting with two of them. I'll make do for the time being."

Re: [M12.]

[feartehreaper]

Haseo took a few seconds to continue internally steadying himself, and by the time Endrance spoke to him again he'd mostly regained his nerve, standing as casually as he could with his weight shifted to one side. His eyes drifted from the metal pipe to the sword, expression flattening with the rush of indignation.

"I'm not used to fighting with anything!" he protested, making an awkward gesture with the newer sword he'd brought with him. "Well, not like this anyway. Besides, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to carry all this crap when I've only got two arms. Unless you want me to stab myself." He paused, taking a breath- that wasn't exactly fair. It seemed that dinner he hadn't eaten was haunting him in the form of irritability. Or something... the usual, deceptively-vague option of "everything all at once" was viable too.

"Look, here," he said, lower in tone, and without further warning pulled the metal pipe from Endrance's hand. "... Now I've got two weapons and you can take the sword." He didn't wait for the counter-protest or flowery speech or whatever else, shifting the pipe to halfway under his arm, grabbing the other things he'd brought, and going for the door.

[ To here. ]