night 45: F-A block hallway.

[vitale]

( from here. )So far, so good. Once Bella’s hand touched the corner of the wall, she followed it slowly, her feet stumbling over themselves for a few seconds before she finally got her footing. “Stupid ... disorientating darkness,” she muttered to herself, her cheeks flushed from the thought of falling. That certainly wasn’t high up there on her

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[roseoverture]

Yomi had been about to explain gently that there was no Ohtori Academy, but was stopped by the last thing that Delilah said. She paused in the hall for a moment, turning back to her friend. "You came back here just for me?" she asked, a pang of guilt hitting her like a cold sword strike.

Now that she thought about it, that would be a real danger of her staying in the Institute for too long. It was very possible that the real Delilah could go back off the deep end out of waiting for her to come back. That wouldn't be fair to her friend at all, as she could see in the vision in front of her. A sudden desire to be discharged first thing upon waking up hit her in the chest, filling her up. The sooner they reached the end of this dream, the better.

"Ohtori Academy was never a real place, Delilah," Yomi said softly, hoping that her friend would be receptive so that they could move on, figuratively and literally. "We're still in a coffin right now, just not the one you think. The coffin is these personas we created together, afterschool and at sleepovers. We have to escape Utena and Anthy first if we're ever going to get out of this institute." She sighed. "Am I making any sense? I don't know how to explain this very well."

[exbride]

Anthy certainly hadn't been expecting for her meeting with Utena to be like this, for the outside world to close in around them on another prison so very quickly, but Anthy's time outside had been so short-lived that the shock of it was receding already. Replaced by a dull fury for Utena's sake.

She glanced up at her friend's gaze and her eyes crinkled with an ache and a plea. Please come back to me, please fight this. It wasn't fair to ask, to want, even, but Utena was strong ...

Anthy took a step closer and her hands closed over Utena's where it was holding onto the hilt of a sword (a flash of memory, prying her trembling fingers off the hilt after-) with a gentle squeeze. Her voice was almost an urgent whisper: "Something has been done to you. Someone has tampered with your memories and your identity. No matter where we are now, our real selves are Utena and Anthy -- I promise you that."

But how to ask her to trust when -- this was difficult. Convincing someone of a falsehood was quite simple, but convincing someone of the truth and holding out sincerity -- Anthy swallowed a lump in the back of her throat and kept her gaze steady.

[roseoverture]

It was hard to see Delilah properly in the darkness, the outer glow from the flashlight beam only illuminating part of her face. Yomi could see the earnestness in her friend's expression, though. She felt something tighten around her heart as warm hands closed around hers. She had seen Delilah look like this a scant few times before, but never "Anthy." As her other self, Delilah had always been calm in some way, never fully expressing the breadth and depth of any particular emotion. It was so difficult not to believe "Anthy"'s words when she was being like this.

"I want that to be true," she answered with a soft crack in her voice. "You know how much I want that to be true. But . . ." The rest of that sentence hung. She had wanted to say "we can't keep pretending forever." Saying harsh things like that to Delilah's face, however, was getting harder and harder to do.

[exbride]

Utena did not believe her (more likely, could not believe her). It was nothing short of what Anthy deserved, after taking advantage of her for such a long time, but the sting of failure was still unpleasant. Her gaze dropped and her grip wavered until she was only holding on with one hand, clinging uselessly as her other arm swung back over to her side.

It used to surprise her that Utena sometimes touched her in ways that did not imply ownership or an unspoken agreement, a transaction; their hands would touch before bed and Utena would often be deep asleep within minutes. The closest Anthy ever came to being truly comfortable with touch was with Utena.

"It's alright," she said, her voice still hushed. Anthy needed to learn more about this place before she could find out just what exactly had happened to Utena. "I'm sorry. Let's move on."

Without warning, she let go and stepped forward past the other girl, disappearing down the hall and through the next open door. Without a flashlight of her own she seemed to threaten to dissolve into the dark.

[ to here]