DAY 45: LIBRARY

[byname_bynature]

Even before he got sick, Sean had enjoyed reading. His teachers had always said that he read 'ahead of his age group', but he figured that was just because he read more than most kids his age did. He liked everything: fantasy, science fiction, biographies, journal articles... There was just something satisfying about holding a book--something

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[ran_on_empty]

By the time his nurse escorted him away the intercom came to life, signaling the end of breakfast and the beginning of their next shift. Stephen didn't mind that he wasn't able to eat his food; he doubted that he would've been able to keep it down anyway. The teen knew he had to eat eventually, however, so lunch was as good of an option as any. For now his nurse offered to take him to the library, something he consented to quite happily.

Holding an icepack gingerly against his black eye, Stephen absentmindedly wandered through the rows of books, carefully scanning each title in hopes of finding something interesting. Should he broaden his horizons and try something new? Or would it be better to enjoy an old favorite? However, none of that mattered the moment caught sight of a rather worn out looking copy of the Bible. Before he knew he'd already pulled the book off the shelf, carefully examining the cover before smiling.

When was the last time he'd even opened one of these? It'd certainly been a while, that was for sure. Stephen was overcome with a flood of warm memories, holding the book close while he looked for a spot to sit. Fortunately, it hadn't taken long to find an empty table, quickly situating himself into one of the seats before flipping open the book.

[For Lindahlia. 8|b]

[dahliahasthorns]

That was... interesting. So she didn't eat any breakfast and, because of that, didn't take any of the aspirin Geffy got for her, which in turn made her feel horrible. In both a "I feel like I just used someone for nothing again" way and a "wow, I really do have a headache" kind of way.

The first day she feels like herself in years and she already hates it. At least when she thought she was Dahlia she didn't constantly feel like a bag of smashed ass.

"Linda, you should have eaten something..." Nurse S. was pouting at her something fierce as they walked, but Linda didn't listen. She had to say some of that fuzz from when she woke up was clearing. She still felt... not okay. Kinda gross and, again, headachey, but she didn't feel too insane.

...at least, she thought she didn't. Apparently she wasn't all there enough to notice she got led to the library. Or was that just from the headache taking her attention? ...Whatever. Books were good. Reading was nice. Unless her subconscious decided her life sucked and stole ideas from them and claimed they were her own. So maybe she shouldn't read. But sitting down was still good! Yes. Seats. There were other crazy people sitting around, ones she could potentially sit by, but one in particular caught her attention.

"Sy- ...um." Shit, she didn't know his name. His real name, anyway. Not that it mattered. Looking at him made her want to run away until she knew those dreams were... just dreams. But she had to face him. She had to face the facts. "...Hi."

If he were crazy, then she could run. But at least she tried.

[ran_on_empty]

In a way Stephen was surprised he could recall most of these gospels, but maybe some part of him just refused to forget. They brought a sense of familiarity, something he desperately craved for after all these years, and so he allowed himself to reminisce, if only for a little bit.

However, he was shaken from his thoughts when he heard footsteps approaching, followed by a voice timidly calling for his attention. Stephen blinked, glancing up with his good eye to settle on an all-too-familiar face.

Dahlia.

That was the name she referred to when they first met, back when he'd accepted his delusions as 'Sync'. Even now he could remember their first encounter and how he used her in order to use up his time in Doytleton. In fact, hadn't she been doing the same? In retrospect, it was rather funny, and yet he couldn't remember the exact moment he'd discovered this. The only thing that came to mind was later on that night... but everything about it was so bizarre that he was embarrassed about conjuring up such a wild fantasy in the first place.

... So maybe the thought of 'Dahlia' deceiving him was just a delusion as well? It was worrying how he couldn't tell apart some parts his memories from his imagination, but that was why he was here, wasn't it? He was disturbed at how his delusions had warped the redhead into someone as heartless and manipulative as Sync, especially when there was hardly any evidence to support that. The teen wanted to fix this, and so that meant apologizing at the earliest opportunity he could get.

In the end Stephen took a deep breath to calm his nerves, finally gracing Dahlia with a small smile before speaking.

"Do you want to share this table? I don't mind..."

[dahliahasthorns]

Oh god, just hearing his voice made her flinch. Run, she told herself. Run. Run or hit 'em in the mouth. Or both. But not in that order. Her brain just kept flashing back to those nightmares. To being horrible people and using others and the deaths and the screams and the blood and and fire and

They were just dreams, Linda. You're just crazy. You're making things up. Calm down. Breathe. Breathe. Okay.

Since he offered a seat, Linda took it after some visible jittery indecision. She was wrong about her nightmares; this guy was a sweetie. Why was her brain flailing and telling her to run away? He was always so nice to her! So she gave him an awkward smile and reached over to pluck a discarded book off the table. She wasn't going to read it. She just wanted something in her hands.

Say something. "...How are you?"

[ran_on_empty]

"I'm fine." Unfortunately, while Stephen tried to look calm, it was obvious that he was nervous about this encounter as well. It didn't help that it looked like 'Dahlia' had reservations about sitting with him, but he didn't want it to be like that. This was why he decided to get straight to the point.

"I... I think I owe you an apology though," He quietly began with his head bowed, staring timidly at his book. "I know it sounds weird, and I don't want to scare you, but I don't think I've ever been honest with you..."

It was true. Back when he believed he was 'Sync' every kind gesture had an ulterior motive, but he was determined to fix this.

"But... I want to change that. I don't want to deceive anyone like that ever again, so I wanted to say that now before it was too late."

Finally, Stephen looked up to gaze at 'Dahlia'. He understood if she wanted to get away from him, but he had to at least try to reach out.

"Do you think we can start over? From the beginning?"

[dahliahasthorns]

Fine? It looked like he had a fateful run-in with a doorknob or abusive boyfriend, but if he said so...

Speaking of not being fine, maybe she did have something. A chill ran through her skin and muscles and she shook for a second before letting out a violent squeak of a sneeze that she barely managed to cover up with her hands.

...Gross.

Um... Ugh. He wouldn't notice her wiping her hands on her pantlegs, would he? Wow, that really just popped up out of nowhere! Then again, so did what 'Sync' had to say next.

He... so he knew what she was going through too, didn't he? Maybe it wasn't all just a dream, maybe Dahlia really had been trying to use him for something. But, if he said he wasn't entirely honest with her...

Tell him the truth. Say you're sorry!

"Okay." She tried to smile, but she still had worry and paranoia smeared all over her. She held out her hand to him before realizing that was nasty, laughed sheepishly, and put her hands back into her lap. "I'm Linda."

[ran_on_empty]

Given the awkward silence between them it was no surprise that Stephen jumped when Dahlia sneezed, looking over worriedly before smiling sheepishly in the end.

"Someone must be thinking about you," He pointed out, but before he could say anything else the teen was overcome with an overwhelming sensation. The teen's own body shook for a moment, and Stephen almost dropped his ice pack when he finally turned his head and sneezed as well.

At first Stephen sniffed slightly, looking rather embarrassed for not even covering his mouth, but it wasn't long before the teen began to laugh. It must've looked rude, but he just couldn't help but find the timing funny.

"I guess the same goes for me." Unlike Linda (so that was her real name?), the teen was more at ease, gracing the redhead with a genuine smile when the latter tried to offer her hand before immediately pulling back.

"It's nice to meet you, Linda. I'm Stephen."

[dahliahasthorns]

"Nice to meet you too, Stephy..." She nodded her head, her smile getting a tad more brighter. She wanted to trust him. Maybe he was feeling better like she was. Or she thought she was. She wasn't getting any weird urges to give him cutesy nicknames or plan his various possible demises. ...no, she already did the first one. But she wasn't being a bitch, she didn't think. She wanted to trust herself.

She picked up the book she dropped before, turning it over and over in her hands. Oh, wait... her hands were still covered in germs, weren't they? What if she really did have a cold and now she just rubbed her hands all over a book someone might have wanted to read?

She put it back down.

"Maybe we should ask for some tissue paper," she suggested. "You know. In case they keep thinking about us."

[ran_on_empty]

When Linda suggested asking for tissue paper Stephen couldn't help but feel a little stupid for not thinking of that sooner.

"Oh! That'd be a good idea, huh?"

After calling his nurse over and requesting tissues it hadn't taken long before they were given several sheets of... industrial grade napkins.

"If you need more just tell me, okay?" Even though the teen was all smiles before his nurse walked away, Stephen couldn't help but look somewhat disappointed at the cheap display. Sighing quietly, he blew his nose into one the napkins, grimacing when the surface scratched the sensitive skin.

"Sometimes I wish they gave us real tissues," The teen started with a wistful expression, more like he was talking to himself. "But at least it isn't as bad as the toilet paper."

[dahliahasthorns]

So maybe having the topic of discussion off of her and what they might have done was making it easier to talk to this guy. It was really nice. It felt kinda normal, which she guessed was what she needed.

Linda took some of the offered paper and ran it across her hands with a tiny grimace. Not that she cared as much about looking good as Dahlia did (if her bed-headed and unbraided hair said anything), but this was bound to scratch up her skin. Couldn't they give them something... better? Just because they were crazy didn't mean they couldn't tell the difference.

...most of the time. But rest assured, she knew the difference of what was pretty much a paper towel and a tissue.

"You mean the sandpaper cleverly disguised as toilet paper?" Creative joke, Linny. You'll be doing stand up in no time! She laughed, looking down at it with a wistful smile. "It reminds me of the stuff my dad used to bring with him from work. He could never be bothered to buy the good stuff." Cheap ass.

[ran_on_empty]

Linda wasn't the only one enjoying the sense of normalcy between them. It'd felt like ages since the last time he could talk like this, dancing around some mundane subject that didn't involve any of his previous delusions. In retrospect, a lot of it hardly made sense when introduced into the real world. Fonons? The Sephiroth? Actually, he could vaguely remember reading about the latter a while back, but he'd unfortunately lost most of the details.

"That's terrible..." When Linda pointed out that her father never bothered with even buying toilet paper Stephen frowned, shaking his head in dismay at the thought.

"My father is the pastor of a church, so he'd make sure the bathrooms there were filled with good toilet paper. In his mind he thought that, since the church was a place of worship, it'd only make sense that he'd want his visitors to be comfortable."

[dahliahasthorns]

She let out another laugh at that, getting more comfortable in her chair as she leaned back into it and swung her legs back and forth off the edge. "Lucky," she teased, eyes still burrowing into the "tissue" in her hands. "I'm pretty sure the stuff they threw on our trees every Halloween was better than the stuff he'd get."

It was really weird. She remembered hating her father so much. She remembered cursing his name late into the night, hell, wishing he was dead so she could be with Bianca and mom again and just... Everything about him, she'd swear up and down that she hated. And yet here she was thinking about the funny things he'd do, like stealing toilet paper from work or maintaining that when the tank read E that there was still a mile's worth of gas in there somewhere no matter how many times he was proved otherwise. Or how he thought the term "mayonnaise canon" was about someone with a really runny nose and would constantly offend her friends when someone got sick.

Ha. She was crazy if she was getting all sentimental about the bastard.

Nostalgia aside, her head was still pounding and the sudden case of sniffles she had was not helping. So gross. If she changed the subject, maybe it'd help. "...What was it like having a pastor for a dad?"

[ran_on_empty]

Stephen laughed as well when the redhead voiced her envy, though he had to frown a little when she mentioned getting tricked on Halloween.

"Well, if you ever happen to be in the neighborhood you can always take some of ours."

One would think that Linda's question was both strange and imposing; after all, Stephen only had one father so it wasn't like he knew much about having one that wasn't a pastor. Yet he'd been asked this question so many times that he eventually stopped thinking twice about it.

"From what I've heard other people say it's pretty strict. Our curfews were on the dot, we weren't really allowed to go out alone even during the day, and father expected us to help around in the church before and after school whenever we weren’t studying. We were also not allowed to watch some channels on TV or read certain books, and there's every parental block known to man on our computers." It was only until he finished did Stephen notice that he was referring to more than one person, but it was hard not including his brother. In fact, it was practically impossible.

However, despite everything he'd said, none of that seemed to deter his good mood.

"But I didn't really mind. I was happy, and that's what really matters when it comes to family, right?" He must've sounded pretty pathetic, but Stephen knew he was homesick. He missed living a normal life instead of the one he was living now, and after everything that happened he felt like he was allowed to at least admit that. With one last sigh he turned his attention back towards Linda, tilting his head curiously.

"What are your other family members like? ... If it's not too much to ask, anyway."

[dahliahasthorns]

Linda finally decided on pulling her legs up onto the chair with her while she listened to Stephy talk about his ever present and ever aware father. "It sounds nice." And it did. As weird as that was, it really did sound nice. By comparison, it made her life look all sorts of fucked up.

Which is why she wasn't expecting him to ask her that. Her family? He meant the Houdini Father, Clubbing Step-mom, Too Cool for This Step-sister, Angry Mother, Batso Auntie, and the Invisible Twin? Really? She could lie to him, she guess- No, no... That was such a Dahlia thing to do. She couldn't just lie.

Alright. You can do this, Linda.

"Uh." Man, where to start? "It was mostly just me and my step-sister a lot of the time. She was a couple years older than me though so it obviously wasn't cool to hang out with little sissy." She was always out with her friends while dad and step-mon were at work, meaning little Linda had to just chill at home all the time. Classic sob story, but what could you do? "...you know what, most of the time, it was just me." Awkward laugh. "I uh. I tried to spend time with my actual sister, but she lived with my aunt a couple of towns away, so we didn't get to see each other all that much. I hope she's okay. She was a total worry-wort when it came to me..."

She really didn't want to talk about this. At all. She turned her head to look back at Stephy. "You said "we". Do you have any siblings?"

[ran_on_empty]

"That's..." Well, what could he say to that? 'Sync' would've scoffed at such a sob story, but Stephen wasn't sure how to react. The teen had learned to be careful when it came to introducing religion into these kinds of conversations; after all, he knew first hand what it felt like to be backhanded by your beliefs. That was what got him into this mess in the first place, right?

In the end, he figured that the best thing to do was to let the subject slide altogether for Linda's sake. The teen offered her a weak smile in response, wasting no time answering her question with a thoughtful look.

"I have a twin brother named Charles. He was always sick so he couldn't do much, but I didn't mind staying with him. Heh, back then people had a hard time telling us apart." Though he scorned them not too long ago, he soon found these memories to be bittersweet.

"I wonder what he's doing now..." Stephen murmured, more to himself than anything else, though he quickly caught himself and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry. We just haven't really talked in a while."