Day 42: Callahan's Grocer [Evening]

[tsunagari]

[continued from here]Sai opened the door to the grocers for both of them and allowed Shikamaru to walk in first. This is where they'd find the bulletin board in town, and the ninja had a couple notes he thought it important to leave - one to warn the other ninja specifically, and one as a general warning. He hadn't seen anyone post something like

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[iwascloned]

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh!" Said spider, slapping himself loudly on the scalp. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You can do that truth-compelling thing, can't you? What else are you capable of doing to the unprotected brains of the masses? Are you ... ha ha ... You're not going to ... organize all the club leaders into one convenient body, and then MIND CONTROL THEM, are you? That would be craaaaaaaaaaazy! Hey, hey, don't wipe my memory for thinking of it. STAY OUT OF MY GODDAMN BRAIN!"

Spider took a step back, and bumped clumsily against the bulletin board. He wheeled on it, eyes wide.

"Not you too! Rodent-filled peniscase! Blast! I'll-"

In a rare moment of clarity, Spider noticed that he was attracting some unwanted attention to himself in the grocery aisle. Summoning all of his mental powers, twisted and crippled by decades of heavy drug use, he turned to Lelouch with a serene smile.

"My services, you say? I am a journalist. You run an information network. Journalists supply information. It took me an hour to find the room number of a paranoid megalomaniac on my own. Think of what I could do with your help. Eh?"

[iwascloned]

I neither would nor could do that.

Suuuuuuure. Maybe the second part was true. Spider had no idea exactly what Lelouch could and could not do. But he was certain that - given even half a chance - the kid would seize whatever power was handed to him. He hadn't even mastered the art of smiling to avert suspicion. This one had NO charisma. NONE! Nowhere NEAR the cleverest bastard Spider'd bumped skulls with. Callahan ... damned blasted cocksucking Callahan ...

Spider began idly tapping at the walls with his left fist as he spoke to Lelouch, looking for hollow spaces that might denote secret doors.

"I can dig into the writhing mass of teeth and hair and spit and lies that form the tangled tumor of secrets pulsing in the center of this place and fish you out whatever you desire. I notice there's not a lot of information going around about the outside of the institute. Maybe that would be a good place to start?"

[iwascloned]

"I wanted to go outside," said Spider, still rapping on the wall with his knuckles. "There's plenty of space out there for two investigators, but I assist NOBODY, and I do not take on assistants."

Harley was a special case. Harley and Channon. And Yelena. All special cases. Yes.

"But if I have to stay inside ... Mmm ... These clubs all reek of corruption and infighting. Someone must be responsible for that. Point me at one of them and I'll find the bastard in it. Could be useful if you're looking for some leverage ..."

Spider stopped tapping for a moment. Was that section of the wall hollow?

Tap Tap

...No.

"Or I can roam the halls looking for ... SECRET DOORS."

[iwascloned]

"Look," said Spider, punching the bulletin board to punctuate his point, "This is simple. I do research and I write very, very well. I am willing to do this for you. If you want my help, I'm going to need your information network at my disposal at all times. I'm going to need it stored publicly. I'm going to need access to your magical abilities as well. If you're willing to meet my demands, let me know by tomorrow. Otherwise, my next story is on Lelouch Lamperouge."

Spider turned and stomped down the aisle, ready to seek out SECRET DOORS wherever they might be hiding.