Day 42: Magus Park [evening]
The temperature was starting to cool down, but that was okay with Akihiko. It wasn't that much different from winter evenings back home. He was feeling better, having been outside most of the day, but still. That niggling stress from the previous few days was still getting to him. He sighed, looking up at the darkening sky and thinking about it all
( Read more... )
No, couldn't be. Otherwise Yuki would have said something, since Yuki would have known how Touya felt already. And he would have either said that they were together, or avoided the hell out of Touya to begin with.
"Good," he said, nodding. He'd have to do something soon, find some way to tell Yuki how he felt without being an idiot and tripping all over himself. Say something simple. That was always his style, after all--straight at to the point. So why couldn't he just do that now?
Because he was terrified he would lose him--Yuki was his only friend, the one he leaned on the most, the one he wanted to take care of most (aside from his family, of course). If he messed up now, he'd never forgive himself.
Direct and to the point. Simple offer. It had to be simple, so it wouldn't be scary.
Still holding Yuki's hand, Touya returned to his swing, looking off at the impending sunset. "It should stay that way..."
Reply
Either way...well, he already owed Touya so much, and cared too much about his feelings, to ask for anything more than what his friend wanted to give. So whatever he wanted, well, Yukito would be happy either way. As long as Touya was happy.
But - Touya still hadn't let go. Yukito's gaze flicked down toward their joined hands, then back up again. He could have passed it off as nothing, made a teasing comment about how he would have to start buying his own groceries at some point, but decided that it was probably time to be serious. He shifted a little to face more toward his friend and gently asked, "Touya...is there something you're trying to say?"
Reply
"Yeah..." he said after a few moments of silence. He had to push forward. There was no other way to go but forward. "I... I want us to always be friends, Yuki. Best friends. I want to bike to school with you on my back every morning, and bring you back home--my home--every night after work. I want to give more than I already have for you, because you've already given me so much." Geez it was weird saying this to Yue's face. "But, you know... what I want and what you want could be different things, of course. You should have what you want, first and foremost. Not necessarily what I want..."
That was so convoluted, Touya would be surprised if Yue understood it.
Reply
The last time a sentence had hit Yukito with such force it had been Touya saying I know you're not human and his world and life had changed forever. This time his reaction wasn't quite the same, since the statement wasn't quite so straightforward and came laden with all kinds of other questions, but he automatically reached out toward his other self with a question he couldn't quite put into words.
He received a wordless answer in response, as well: Yue drew away as far as he could, given the situation, leaving Yukito with the impression that the guardian had blocked himself away behind a white-feathered wall to give as much distance as possible. Do whatever you want, the gesture seemed to say, it isn't any of my affair.
The silent exchange was over in less than a heartbeat, leaving Yukito to return to Touya's statement. He wanted to always be friends? Or always be just friends? But immediately after that he was asking about what Yukito wanted (and claiming he had given so much?) which only left him more confused.
All he could think now was that...well, the more confused he was, the more Yukito felt that he had to make things clear. And hopefully that was what Touya was asking, and that he really would want to be friends no matter what.
"After the...after I was feeling better, after the time you last remember, I had a talk with Sakura-chan," Yukito began, not only sounding unusually shy but glancing down at the ground in front of his shoe, "She finally worked up the courage to admit that she, ah, had a crush on me." It had been one of the worst-kept secrets ever known, except to Sakura herself, but everyone had been kind enough not to tease her about it. Most of the time, at least. And it had taken her quite some time to work up the courage to actually say something about it, and Yukito had been more than a little touched. He couldn't help a small, almost fond smile as he remembered.
As he finished, though, he spoke a little faster than normal, as though he was trying to finish before his own courage ran out. "I turned her down, and she guessed, correctly, that it was because I already had someone else that I liked instead. And that, that someone...was you."
And there he paused, almost holding his breath as he waited to see just how Touya was going to react to that.
Reply
Not that it had bothered him or anything... they were just kids, after all.
He didn't have much time to dwell on that part though, since Yuki had more or less thrown Touya a pass he was wide open to receive. Touya may have always been the direct one, but Yuki was honest. And brave enough for the both of them, apparently.
"It... was?" Touya asked, looking a little as though he couldn't actually believe what was happening. Were they actually on the same page here? God, he thought they actually were...
"And..." Touya squeezed Yuki's hand gently, but firmly, holding it in his tight grasp. "Is it still? Me?"
Reply
"Of course it is, Touya." Yukito still sounded a little shy, his mildly disbelieving expression mirroring Touya's own, and gave a self-conscious little laugh as he found himself automatically lifting his free hand to adjust glasses that weren't there. "I just was never sure if you, also...um."
He'd suspected, of course. Or at least hoped. But he didn't want to try to suggest anything that might upset his friend, lest he drive Touya away.
Reply
God, how much more pre-school could he get?
"I wasn't sure if you had the same sort of feelings for me. Seeing as we're both guys and grew up being best friends instead of... boyfriends, I guess?" Aaagh, he'd said it--the B-Word. Was that moving too fast? Hell if he knew.
"You're my only friend, Yuki. If I lost you because I did something dumb and selfish, I'd never be able to live with it," he said, feeling everything rushing out of his mouth, from the relief. "But... if I'm still the one you care about, then I'm not afraid."
Touya looked Yuki directly in the eyes, which seemed to steel his resolve. "Yuki... even before I gave you my power, I wanted to be with you--both as your friend, and more than that. I still feel that way. I would have given my life to save you. Of course I also wanted you to be with me."
...was that a little too frank?
Reply
His hand tightened on Touya's as though that would steady him, his smile widening. "I didn't, I still don't ever want to lose you, either. You're the most important person to me, and I, I just wanted you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted." He gave an almost startled-sounding laugh and shook his head slightly, though he didn't look away. "Thanks to you, I won't disappear. And I can--I want to--always stay with you."
And though his other self had been resolutely ignoring what was going on (and couldn't have been more obvious about the fact if he'd stuck fingers in ears and began to hum loudly) Yukito suddenly felt Yue stir, focusing on Touya with what seemed an odd intensity. Yukito's silent, concerned query went unanswered, though, and the sense of the guardian's presence receded once more, leaving him only puzzled by Yue's behavior.
Reply
"Then let's do that," he said, finding it easier to speak suddenly. "Let's stay together, always. It's what you and I want, we can make that happen... together."
Perhaps Touya was too caught up in his own relief, but it was a miraculous event for him. He'd always believed that he'd spend the rest of his life admiring Yukito from afar and never daring to say anything. Perhaps they'd always stay friends, but Touya had never imagined anything like what had just happened. He felt as though he could have done anything at that moment, it was the most amazing feeling. Yuki, his Yuki, was blushing for him.
"Yuki," he started, feeling his heart swell with the courage to continue. "Will you be mine? And I can be yours?"
Reply
It was one good thing that had come out of the situation they were in, and yet it was such a good thing that - well, he didn't have words to describe it. His world had shifted once more, but at the same time stayed the same: Touya was still his center, but now they merely acknowledged the fact. If something so important could be "merely" anything, that was.
With the question his smile brightened even more, though that might have previously seemed impossible, and the blush that had started to fade reappeared once again. "I can't think of anything I would want more," he replied, bringing his free hand to rest atop Touya's.
Reply
Leave a comment