Night 41: Women's Bathrooms (F1-F40)

[arc_wrench]

[from here]

A quick scan showed no meatbags within view, although contrary to what many humans stupidly believed, infrared radiation could not be detected through opaque objects. Obviously. But really, HK was far too focused on the most immediately obvious pipes in the wall under the sinks. An experimental tug at the fixture showed that the pipes

Comments

[quickdrawbkiddo]

Leaning back against the wall by the door, Beatrix watched HK-47 beat at the pipes with an amused look sparking in her cold eyes. If the droid's reactions weren't so precious, she might have warned him about the swamp water in the pipes.

"Haven't you ever killed someone in a sewer system before?"

[arc_wrench]

"Affirmative: Yes, but at the time I was able to shut off my olfactory sensors," HK somehow managed to say in a fairly even tone while still attacking the pipe with dogged tenacity. A few more hits, and the thing finally cracked away from both wall and sink, leaving HK to scramble for the thing before it touched the pool of nearly malevolent water. "Query: How many pipes are needed?" He hoped it was just one. Or maybe two, because he only had two feet, and one of them was rather painful now.

[quickdrawbkiddo]

"You'll get used to the smell soon enough," Beatrix replied, her eyes flickering toward the stalls on alert for any suddenly appearing creatures.

"For your type of blade, a minimum of three pipes. I suggest taking four to leave some metal for the Norn's personal use," she added on.

[arc_wrench]

Damn. At least he could potentially try to convince the pain receptors in his feet to quiet down over the whole 'Stop slamming me into objects much more structurally sound than me!' problem. With a slight sigh, he started working on the next pipe. This time, he was expecting the almost-water, but he wasn't quite expecting having to leap out of the way to avoid a sudden spray of the stuff. This thing was trying to fight back! HK immediately began kicking harder.

[quickdrawbkiddo]

Thankfully, the sound of HK-47 kicking the pipes echoed in the room and covered the Bride's snicker. This was so very amusing. She'd have to tell SubZero about this sometime.

She almost wished she had popcorn.

[arc_wrench]

"Exclamation: I heard that!" HK said grumpily, punctuating the sentence with a kick hard enough to knock the pipe from the wall and send it bouncing quite spiritedly along the floor. He didn't bother to pick it up this time, as it already managed to land in a puddle of hellwater. It was just on to the next pipe, with a slightly resigned but still determined air.

[quickdrawbkiddo]

"I never knew droids knew how to dance," Beatrix replied. "Is that something they programed into your assassination protocols?"

[arc_wrench]

"Negatory: No, and I don't think it was programmed into my protocol droid functions either." That didn't mean that he didn't have a whole host of embarrassing capabilities thanks to that programming, though. At least one of them was going to be potentially useful, but he was not going to mention that.

He was having to devote some processing power to getting his nerve endings to quiet down over the pain, but it took only a few more kicks to get the third pipe out of the wall. And into the water again. Oh well. There was only one pipe left to go, which was attacked with the tenacity of one who saw escape from current humiliation. And a new weapon!

[quickdrawbkiddo]

"I see," Beatrix replied, shifting her stance to lean her uninjured side against the wall.

"What kind of abilities have your protocol droid functions given you?"

[arc_wrench]

"Statement: That is an utterly humiliating question, but... domestic functions, such as cleaning, some cooking, sewing... it is all very embarrassing, but necessary for disguise when blending in with a civilian droid population." At least, that was what he had to tell himself. The fourth pipe thankfully did not try to spray him as well, but he was dreading having to retrieve the two other pipes from the middle of the muck they'd landed in.

[quickdrawbkiddo]

Interesting.

"That's not terribly humiliating, HK-47," Beatrix replied. "What is humiliating is being trained in the art of acting like a airheaded, idiotic, clumsy tourist. useful, but it makes me feel dumb."

[arc_wrench]

"Statement: It is humiliating, because I can in fact feel my processing capability dropping like a speeding missile towards a black hole every time I have to engage those functions, especially when the disguise actually works." He'd become rather infamous in some places, so it wasn't always effective, but even in those cases, organics were fantastically stupid. He was just a droid, after all, and that meant he was there to serve them. Right up until the moment that he turned their internal components into a performance art piece.

The last pipe broke free, and HK snatched it up, then turned to look at the other two, sitting cheekily aaall the way out in the middle of a small ocean of filthy water. With a sigh, he walked over to collect them, trying not to touch the wet parts and retreating as quickly as possible. "Statement: Done."

[quickdrawbkiddo]

All was well in the universe; HK-47 was whining. That meant somewhere SubZero was bitching.

"Good."

Beatrix turned and held the door open for the droid. "The Norn is in F30."

[arc_wrench]

"Statement: Understood." He headed out of the room, holding the pipes away from him. He didn't want to get any more of that foul-smelling stuff on him. Being a meatbag was bad enough already.

[to here]