Day 41: Courtyard

[thatdamnedninja]

All praise to Leviathan, the Flower of Wutai was freeYuffie all but bolted away from the weirdo she'd shared her breakfast table with. She wanted to get to the courtyard as soon as possible, wanted to be free of the jolting disquiet brought on by Albedo's creepy grin, strange attitude, and his questions. If it hadn't been for the night before - and

Comments

[arc_wrench]

HK very much disliked being outdoors in his meatbag form when he wasn't killing things. So many other organisms, bacterial, plant, protist or animal, covering every centimeter of the environment. All the better to remind him that he was a meatbag, and that meatbags could catch viruses and other malfunctions from the air and soil. It was so disgusting.

But at least he had an... interview to look forward to. HK was a little confused about this. It had been phrased as something like a fight, which he always loved, but... The one of much capslock had been very confusing over the bulletin board.

Well. At least he knew what the meatbag looked like, even if the meatbag had only seen his (so painfully superior) droid self last night. He had so enjoyed that. He wanted that to happen again!

[reserved for Spider Jerusalem!]

[iwascloned]

As Spider entered the courtyard, he finally started putting some thought into how exactly he was going to actually carry out all of the threats he'd levied against the murderous robot. It wasn't as if his teeth actually pierced steel. Or was it? He could never remember until he actually tried it. The plastic knife he'd taken from breakfast would be useless, unless he could get it into a crevice in the machine's armor and leverage out some vital piece of wiring. Wiring, he was pretty sure, he could pierce with his teeth. But where was the robot?

Spider scanned the courtyard suspiciously, at first wondering how a fully armed robotic murder-machine would be able to mingle with the general population, and then wondering if this whole setup had just been an elaborate prank at his expense. If it was, it wasn't a very good one. He wasn't even covered in pig excrement yet.

[arc_wrench]

Aaaah, there we are. Target locked. HK couldn't resist just going up behind the meatbag and tapping it on the shoulder, pulling his hand back fast, just in case. "Greeting: Good morning, meatbag!" And now to see what sort of mayhem might ensue.

[iwascloned]

Nope. No robots anywhere. Spider was about to give up and try and get some of the drugs from his room when someone - OR SOMETHING - tapped him on the shoulder. Spider whirled around, snarling.

"Alright, you shortcircuited cumdumpster, I'm here to rip your - who the fuck are you?"

[arc_wrench]

"Statement: HK-47, of course. Unfortunately, they took away my actual body again." HK's face was perfectly emotionless, but his tone was somewhere in between grumpy, a word he could acknowledge was valid, and bitchy, one that he most certainly did not.

His tone immediately brightened up once he managed to make sense of the first part of the meatbag's statement. "Query: Are we going to fight? Apart from the imminent sedation that would follow as a result, I certainly have no objections to the concept."

[iwascloned]

"You're HK-47. The whole ensemble, not just a pilot or something, right?"
Without warning, Spider reached out and pinched the former droid's cheek. He squished the flesh between his fingers and furrowed his brow.
"Feels real, but then, that's easy. The question is why? You hear about humans going foglet ALL the FUCKING TIME. But android to human?"
Spider began circling HK, probing bits of hair and clothing as he went.
"Who gets off on that? Definitely not the robots. Do robots get off? Eh?"

[arc_wrench]

"Affirmative: Yes, as I said, I am HK-47. I--Ow!" He didn't even tack 'Exclamation:' on to the front of that outburst, flailing slightly in response, but too late to actually catch the meatbag's arm. This was just confusing him now. "Repetition: Are we going to fight? Or are you just going to ask me odd and unsettling questions like every other meatbag in this facility?" Everyone always seemed to ask about the things that made his processor feel like it wanted to escape.

[iwascloned]

Spider stopped circling and brought his face very close to HK's. He wished with every fiber of his blackened soul that he had a cigarette to menace the droid with. Blowing smoke in people's faces had always brought him such pleasure. Fuck.
"Now, Mister 3000, you agreed to an interview. In an interview, the interviewer - that is, me - asks questions. The interviewee - that's you," Spider poked HK sharply in the chest "answer these questions. Now, where I come from, it is considered rude to answer a question with another question. In fact, this is not just true about where I come from, but also everywhere I go, because I BRING THIS CONSIDERATION WITH ME EVERYWHERE THAT I GO."
Spider stopped, and smiled unsettlingly.
"Now, let's try again, you sack of shit and sprockets. Why are you not a robot?"

[arc_wrench]

"Exclamation: Fine, fine, meatbag! Statement: Now that the actual ground rules and intent of this exercise have been established and you've stopped poking me, this is comprehensible." He had already noticed that this meatbag tended to make minimal sense, but he was disappointed that there wouldn't be violence.

"Statement: I do not know how the meatbags that run this facility managed, but since my arrival in this place, I have been stuck in this squishy body. Addendum: Apart from the amusing period last night where they gave my my body back and forced me to take their orders to shoot things, but not fatally. I am unable to recall the process in which they transferred me to my true chassis, because this body was heavily sedated." Which was a shame, because he now had confirmation that his chassis was here, and he wanted it back, kriff it!

[iwascloned]

"So you can be sedated?" Spider grinned, "Your body works just like one of ours?"

[arc_wrench]

"Affirmative: Yes, unfortunately. Warning: And I have already experienced a successful attempt to put an overdose of the painkiller known as 'Vicodin' into my fuel. It will not happen again." Because unless it was necessary, he never, ever wanted to spend a whole day stoned again.

[iwascloned]

A painkiller overdose? Someone besides Spider was spiking drinks?

"Who dosed you with Vicodin? Name? Appearance? They have any other drugs?"

He couldn't allow someone else to start stealing his strategies. What next? Would everyone shave their heads bald? Break their left hands? Get verbose tattoos on their penises? Where would it end?!

[arc_wrench]

"Statement: SubZero, brown hair, only the Vicodin." Because SubZero still needed to be gotten back at for that one. "A competent assassin, but can cause enough irritation to make my personality core short out."

[iwascloned]

Spider spat.

"Useless! Next question! You enjoy murdering humans?"

[arc_wrench]

HK edged away from where the saliva had landed on the ground.

"Affirmative: Of course I do. It is a source of great joy to kill meatbags of all species."

[iwascloned]

Spider stepped closer to HK as he moved away, maintaining an uncomfortable proximity as he spoke.

"Well, now, I already know you like to shoot them. And set them on fire. Hmm. Do you like to stab them?"